Friday, January 8, 2010

"Pick & Choose-y"

So remember HERE when I said there would be an adjustment period when I moved in with M? Well that couldn't be farther from the truth.

I know some of you never considered me a single parent, b/c I lived with my parents. But I was.

They were NOT live-in babysitters.

Fri-Sun they were "not available" to watch little E. Usually Tue/Thurs were out of the question too b/c my step-dad was home by 3-330 at the latest. They are season-ticket holders for the Orlando Magic, On a bowling league, etc... They had lives of their own. They are young, my mom being 45 and step-dad 53.

I lived under their roof but I have been the one raising E. [Mostly] alone. When She was sick or up all night, I was up with her. Alone. I enrolled her in swimming lessons & made sure she never missed one lesson (mostly) alone. Hayls came sometimes.

It really seemed as if my parents were very "hands-off" type of Grandparents. They never once took her somewhere, unless I was with them to deal with E when she got difficult. If they babysit for any reason I was left to feel guilty for it.

Yes financially they helped MORE THEN I CAN BEGIN TO TELL you.

But all-in-all I was/am a SINGLE PARENT. But I digress.

On Sunday M, E and I had plans to go to this HUGE mall, thats about an hour away from where we live so we planned on leaving at nap time so E would sleep on the way there and not be a grump. Well she was crabby when we were about to leave, which was perfect, it meant she was tired! But she didnt want to adorn her coat. It was 27degrees out! Def in need of a jacket. I forced it on her while M was holding her. Her screams could be heard in another county. We had to force her into her car seat. She was pissed. Lovely.

Well once she was securely strapped in & M got into the car she started crying for her 'baba' (pacifier) I told M NOT to go get the one from her crib b/c we had 3 EXACTLY like that one in the diaper bag (yet she didn't want those) & when she hit 24 mons she was done w.the baba. She is 21mons now. Well she continued to cry for that certain baba till she passed out.

M looked over at me and said "Kelli you CAN NOT pick when I get to be a parent, either I am daddy or I am not"

That made me really think, In E's almost 2 yrs I have never had to consult "another parent" EVER.

I have complete and sole custody of E. GD has NO say in how she is raised. Nor does he care. The last time I saw him he told me the sooner M adopted her (by way of Step-Parent Adoption) the better. [Keep in mind that M & I have to be married first for this to happen]

I mean M has been around since E was only 4mons old, thats MOST of her life. But until 2 weeks ago we nvr lived together. So he wasn't ALWAYS around & didn't really have a say in how she was raised.

I didn't have to ask anyone when I waned to get her haircut for the first time or when I wanted to take her to her first petting zoo or to her first amusement park on on her first vacation/air plane ride. I didn't have to ask anyone when I out my infant then toddler in swimming lessons. I had full reins on what we did and when we did it.

It may have taken two to make her, but it sure as hell has taken ONE. ME (with a little help here and there from family members) to raise her.

We're adjusting, to living together and to raising a child together. E is adjusting to having two parents full time & dada not "living" in the phone.

She still won't let him put her to bed, but she will let him give her a tubbie. She is back to uninterrupted sleep & eating fairly well (for her anyways).

I know moving down the road or seven states away takes adjusting & that is just what we are doing.

I am also working on letting M be dad. Its hard for me to not always hover over him when hes doing his thing with her but its becoming easier.

Saturday will be the test. M gets off early (noon) and will be home before 1. I am going to get my nails done. So he will have an hr of daddy daughter time. Lets see how well I handle it.


Coming SOON there will be a NEW NAME and LOOK here @ The Urban Cowgirl. So keep your eyeballs peeled.

Have a good weekend yall.




Jessica said...

I bet that is hard. At least he's up for the challenge though! :)

Jessica said...

I bet that is hard. At least M is up for the challenge though! :)

BB! said...

I'm so proud of you! :-D Getting a masters AND working with M.

I know it's difficult- well, I don't really understand the SITUATION (clearly, I am child-less) but I understand the whole "I've be in control, what now?" mentality. And while I don't have ANY advice what so ever to help, I'm just happy that 1. M stood up for himself (b/c he IS right... sorry) and 2. you're letting him be daddy. Two monumental steps in my opinion.

:-D ILY.

Leelers♥ said...

I know how you feel, half the time im a single parent and the other half the time im not. Its always really hard adjusting to "there being someone there" to actually help you do all the things you would normally have to do alone. Anyways, I hope the best for you guys, and I enjoy reading :)

The Urban Cowboy said...

You go girl!