I have always heard the expression "You have to have the bad to appreciate the good". I never understood that until I met TM.
Two nights ago, we were on the couch and he asked me "Would you have dated me 5 years ago?" (when I was 19/20). I quickly replied "No." He & I could not believe how quickly I replied.
I then remembered what I had heard my mom tell my sister a few years ago... ""You have to have the bad to appreciate the good." Five years ago I hadn't experienced the bad. I was in my first year of college and I was dating a Marine who cheated on me (unknowingly) EIGHT times while on a MEU. After him I bounced from guy to guy Marine to Marine. I was never with any of them long enough to really get hurt.
I dated a great man [recon] Marine. He was one of the good ones, but I guess I hadn't had enough bad. I broke-up with him for no reason. From there it was just asshole after asshole.
My ex-husband and ex-fiancee, each, being one of them, lucky me.
But I want to take a moment to say THANK YOU to both of them for leaving me because if it weren't for them leaving I would have never have met TM.
Yes I was heart broken when each one of them left & thought I would never recover.
I did recover. When I was least expecting it.
When I was least expecting it I met a great MAN. A MAN who was okay with just being my friend, while I got over my issues. A MAN who sticks around even though I have not fully taken my walls down. A MAN who constantly reminds me that he loves me and ISNT GOING ANYWHERE.
They are right, you will find love, just stopping looking, but get out there.
TM and I have been together (officially) since March. But unofficially we have been together since the end of January. Remember this post?
We met at one of the schools I shadow at; He teaches there. We had a few choppy conversations but nothing out of the ordinary.
I saw/ talked to him a few times but I didn't think much about him except, hes a nice guy.
One day the teacher I was working with asked me to go get her kids from lunch. I had been in her class for 2 days at this point but I was well known on her team, I had taught in some of the other teachers classes or ran reading groups. In all I did over 60 hours on this particular team- so she felt comfortable with me getting her kids for her.
While I was lining the kids up, I looked across the cafeteria and TM waved at me and smiled.
IDK what it was about the smile/wave but my cheeks got hot and I smiled and nodded, its all I could muster up. A few hours and one email later I found out his whole name and I FACEBOOK-ED him!
I felt like a creeper, It appeared, via pictures, that he had a girlfriend but it did say "Single" so I had to assume he was single. I sent him a message, boldly, seeing if we could get together and hang out.
It took him TWO days to reply. I was fretting, but for no reason. He was more than willing to get together.
I told him I had a child, because she is NOT a fact I will hide. I gave him the option to come over around 830, after she went to bed or coming for dinner around 6. Being the teacher that he is, said he was okay with coming by, if I was, while she was still up.
We had dinner and talked for hours.
He was patient while I put E to bed.
Then we talked some more.
I Told him about M and how badly he hurt me and how I hadn't dated since and thought I was ready.
We went to dinner, child-less and I realized how NOT ready I was (back in Feb) to be back in a relationship, 5 months later.
I told him, that honestly, I was NOT ready.
He told me he was willing to wait. and wait he did.
FF nearly 2 months later and I still hadn't met his parents, granted they live 2 hours away. I told him that since this is getting serious and the topic of moving-in had been broached, I wanted to meet his parents.
He had met and hung out with mine, a lot. He had even gone to my moms house without me, and hung-out there until I got off work.
He made and still makes me so undoubtedly happy.
He told me Saturday that his parents were coming, for the day, Sunday.
Cue panic attack.
We spent ALL day Sunday cleaning in preparation for their arrival.
I was freaking out, even after they arrived.
E was a great ice-breaker, she immediately clicked with TMs dad. He is an elementary school principal so he is great with kids.
My mom and stepdad came over and we all went to lunch. It was great, everyone got along great. But I was still nervous.
We didn't get to talk as much as I'd have liked but TM told me that his mom and dad loved me (and E) and want us to come to his hometown, I am thinking day-trip is in the works.
I feel so relieved that they like me, my daughter and my parents.
I am so in-love and TM is the FIRST man, that I have been serious with, that has been widely liked by my ENTIRE family.
He has everything I could ever want. I am so lucky.
Today I think about my mothers mother, Becky, whom I never had the pleasure to meet at an age where I could remember her. She passed away from a few forms of cancer, when I was only 10 months old. She raised MY MOTHER, so this is why today, I take a moment in prayer, to talk to Grandma Becky. To thank her for raising such a beautifully spirited and loving mother, who is more than my mom but my best friend. I can only imagine that my mom got Becky's best qualities.
Today I think about MY MOTHER. My mother raised me, a single mom in the 80's. In the 80's people got divorced, but not as rampant and as "normally" as they do today. As a young, 22 years old, single mother, whos mother just died, my mom arranged child care for me and still worked full-time. My mother made sure I had everything I NEEDED and I never wanted for a thing besides a puppy. My mom put MY needs over her own. My mom taught me that you get more with sugar than with salt. I watched my mom meet and fall in-love with a wonderful man, who is my step-dad. They together have set a wonderful example for me as to what love is. My mother may not have supported all my terrible decisions, but mistakes she let me make. As I learned from every single one of them, the lessons, she knew from the start I would learn. I didn't listen to her as much as I should have, yet in the end she was right. Without my mom, I don't know where I'd be today. My mom taught me, without knowing it, how to be a great mother. She taught by example, her hugs were like gold.
Today I think about the little girl, who 3 years ago made me a mother. I think about the way in which she changed my life, for the better. I think about how, if I could do it all over again, I would. Same result. I am a young single mother. When I gave birth I was only 21, I am now 24. I think back to the wonderful example my mom set for me, when she was just in her early 20's. My mom made everything look so easy and here I am trying to do my best and I am lacking the grace and class she had that or she was on heavy drugs...xanax anyone? I look at my daughter and I thank God every single day for allowing me to be her mom. She is wonderful in ways I can not even describe. She is the sole reason I get up in the morning that and I have to go to work, to pay my bills, bills, bills I think about where I would be without her and I can't. She has made my life worth living. The little, sassy, too-smart for her own good, lovable, hyper, caring, crazy haired girl who made me a mother is the reason why I smile.
Today I think about the 4lb ball of fury, my kitten, who made me a pet mom. It's weird how much I love and how little time I have had her. I can't imagine my house without her zipping in and out of bedrooms, pouncing at the most inopportune time. I can't imagine sleeping without her rhythmic purring.
Today I think about ALL mothers. Mothers who carried a child within their body, Mothers who had someone carry their child in their belly- waiting for the day her baby was placed in her arms, Mothers who adopted the child who was created by God and born to be theirs, Mothers who foster children until they find a forever home. Mothers who acquired children through a marriage- loving that child as your own, GODMothers who are there when the child needs a second opinion and who always are more fun than mom, Mothers of furbabies, because animals are a part of the family and need love, just like a human child.
Today I think about Mothers-to-be and Mothers in-waiting, waiting for a positive hpt, or waiting for the call that your surrogate is in labor or waiting for the call from the agency telling you that your baby was just born.
No matter what type of mother you are, you are a MOTHER and today you should be celebrated. So take a moment and realize that you are wonderful and you deserve a day to relax and be pampered.
Happy Mothers Day to ALL the different types of mothers out there; today is your day.
Welcome to Five Question Friday--the easiest blog hop around!
Rules for 5QF: Copy and paste the following questions to your blog post, answer them, then link up! Remember, most importantly, to HAVE FUN!
Questions for Friday, May 6th:(Special thanks to Lorilynne, Kate,Jolene, @trooppetrie, and@scrumpture for their question suggestions! If YOU would like to be linked in a future Five Question Friday, c'mon over to my community and offer up your best question suggestions! Feel free to shout 'em out to me [@5crookedhalos] on twitter using hashtag #5QF, as well!) (Weird...for some reason this paragraph always gets all wonky when I copy and paste!)
1. Have you ever had roommates?
Yes, in college; I was not a fan. There was Stephanie & Kristen- first, Then Hayley, Startice & Kristen in the dorms, then two others who names have slipped my mind at my off campus apartment & Courtney in my condo. Girls are so catty. I stayed with some guy friends of mine for a few months, b/c I walked in on my roommates whos names I can't remember, doing coke on the coffee table, I had to get out of there! I enjoyed staying with the guys much better. Guys make better roommates than girls do.
2. How many names do you/your children have? (i.e. Prince Charming William Phillip Arthur Louis John JacobJingleheimer-Schmidt)
I have a first, middle and last name and my daughter has a first, middle and last name. So we each have 3.
3. Did you watch the Royal Wedding?
I did not get up at 4am to watch but when my alarm went off for work at 645 I turned it on and watched until the "kiss". Waiting that long for the kiss made me late for work.
4. What is the messiest room in your house?
Its a toss-up between the office/guest room or the dining room- everything gets tossed on the table and the chairs. Shoes get taken off and left by the table, etc. Every room in my house gets messy, I have a toddler but I pick-up everynight. My room gets neglected, only picked-up once a week, usually Sunday afternoon.
5. What is your ideal mothers day?
Spending the day with my mom and my beautiful daughter, who made me a mother. Going to church in the morning followed by a nice lunch out and maybe some swimming and just hanging out at my moms house. Just a nice relaxing day. I can't say I want to be spoiled b/c my boyfriend, TM, already spoils me.
I got the link to this video from Katie- I too have been wanting to jot my feelings about the news released Sunday night.
OSB is dead. I cried tears of joy for a long time. Hoping that the families of the victims of 9/11 tragedy and the families of the service men and women that fought war that followed and were KIA, feel that justice was finally, after 10 years, met.
Anderson Cooper is very eloquent in this video and states it perfectly.
"The ocean is a big place and in the end OBL was a very small man"
This is kind of a rage-y/ vent-y post. My thoughts are all over the place. Bear with me. I need to get it all off my chest. -I am PMSing... I haven't actually had a period in 3 years (!) thanks to Mirena [TMI?] so I rarely PMS. Today was the exception; I was at work, talking to a patient and out of NO WHERE I get horrible cramps. I know I made a face b/c my patient asked me if I was okay, embarrassing. I have been snapping at TM for the last 2 days, poor guy. Damn PMS.
-I just started 2 more classes, No rest for the insane weary. The work load is MASSIVE. I have been have anxiety attacks over how I am going to get it all done, with work and E. I have a GREAT work schedule, M-Th 9-230. I have Friday's off & E is in school from 9-2. So I have all day to myself. -TM has been a huge help, by doing things around the house (without me asking!), so I have more time to focus on my work, I am so lucky.
-In the past month, E has become clingy, she cries if I won't hold her, if I am not in the same room as her, if my mom picks her up from school, she even gets upset when TM leaves for work or to go to the store, etc... It makes doing anything difficult. I can't even pee or shower alone. It's like she's never see's me, but since I have only been doing ext. day 2 days a MONTH, we have a ton of mommy-daughter time. -I love the time I have with her but, I would love some "me time", but you can't exactly tell a toddler to go away.
-E's temper tantrums are terrible. People told me 3 is worse than 2, they were not kidding. She will only nap 3 days a week, if I am lucky; when shes tired they are worse. Most times she passes out in the car after school, on the way to the gym or to run errands Trust you me, you don't want to be the one there when the monster appears waking her up. -Sometimes I have to leave her with TM and take a sabbatical walk to the mailbox, to cool off. -As the date that my wedding to M approaches, I get pissed, upset, angry, jealous, etc. I wanted to get married more than anything, I loved him and he broke my heart dream. I look on FB, fucking FB at exs, ones that cheated on me, and most of them are married, with 1 or 2 kids.
-Things have been easier since TM has been around more and I am happy again. He's a good man, my friends and FAMILY like love him. We share the same values & he treats E and I like royalty. -I hate when people who don't have children (by choice), criticize those who do. If you don't have a child you can not criticize, b/c you have no idea what the hell you are talking about. You sound ignorant. No, babysitting is NOT the same as having your own child. -You know what also pisses me off? People who think that as soon as you have unprotected sex (sans bc) that you will immediately get pregnant. News Flash: It takes time to get pregnant. Some people get pregnant quickly, but majority of the time it takes months.
-Since the news of OBL's death a friend, who I had lost contact with, and I are speaking again. We aired our "grievances" if you will and picked-up where we left off. I am so thankful to have him back in my life. I missed him so much, I honestly don't know how I lived w/o him in my life for as long as I did. Now its time for a shameless plug: I was nominated forCircle of Moms top 25 blogs on Single Parenting, read about that here. Vote for me, or don't. Just thought I'd throw it out there. I know this is all over the map, but I actually feel better.
I thought it was a hoax...So I blew it off. I mean I get junkie/hoaxie emails alllll the time.
That is until my ALL TIME FAVORITE blogger tweeted that she too got the same e-mail & was nominated, too.
I tweeted at her asking if it was real b/c I got that same email/ nomination. She told me it was real, I literally squealed. TM looked at me like I was on drugs, I swear only on the weekends im NOT.
I am nominated with some amazing bloggers, single mamas (& dads too!). Blogs that I never miss and are in the TOP of my reader. I am "starstruck" if you will, being nominated along side these ladies/men. I read their blogs in awe and die laughing at their tweets.
Although I feel so inadequate next to these awesome bloggers, Someone must have thought I was good enough though, even through my blog absence.
I promise this nomination has "woken me up" and made me feel like people actually visit my corner of the blogosphere. So there needs to be something there when they pop by for a visit.
Please please please vote for me... while you are voting for any of the awesome bloggers also nominated. You can vote once a day till May 23, 2011