"Randoms"

This is kind of a rage-y/ vent-y post. My thoughts are all over the place. Bear with me. I need to get it all off my chest.

-I am PMSing... I haven't actually had a period in 3 years (!) thanks to Mirena [TMI?] so I rarely PMS. Today was the exception; I was at work, talking to a patient and out of NO WHERE I get horrible cramps. I know I made a face b/c my patient asked me if I was okay, embarrassing. I have been snapping at TM for the last 2 days, poor guy. Damn PMS. 

-I just started 2 more classes, No rest for the insane weary. The work load is MASSIVE. I have been have anxiety attacks over how I am going to get it all done, with work and E. I have a GREAT work schedule, M-Th 9-230. I have Friday's off & E is in school from 9-2. So I have all day to myself.

-TM has been a huge help, by doing things around the house (without me asking!), so I have more time to focus on my work, I am so lucky.

-In the past month, E has become clingy, she cries if I won't hold her, if I am not in the same room as her, if my mom picks her up from school, she even gets upset when TM leaves for work or to go to the store, etc... It makes doing anything difficult. I can't even pee or shower alone. It's like she's never see's me, but since I have only been doing ext. day 2 days a MONTH, we have a ton of mommy-daughter time. 

-I love the time I have with her but, I would love some "me time", but you can't exactly tell a toddler to go away.

-E's temper tantrums are terrible. People told me 3 is worse than 2, they were not kidding. She will only nap 3 days a week, if I am lucky; when shes tired they are worse. Most times she passes out in the car after school, on the way to the gym or to run errands Trust you me, you don't want to be the one there when the monster appears waking her up. 

-Sometimes I have to leave her with TM and take a sabbatical walk to the mailbox, to cool off. 

-As the date that my wedding to M approaches, I get pissed, upset, angry, jealous, etc. I wanted to get married more than anything, I loved him and he broke my heart dream. I look on FB, fucking FB at exs, ones that cheated on me, and most of them are married, with 1 or 2 kids. 

-Things have been easier since TM has been around more and I am happy again. He's a good man, my friends and FAMILY like love him. We share the same values & he treats E and I like royalty.

-I hate when people who don't have children (by choice), criticize those who do. If you don't have a child you can not criticize, b/c you have no idea what the hell you are talking about. You sound ignorant. No, babysitting is NOT the same as having your own child. 

-You know what also pisses me off? People who think that as soon as you have unprotected sex (sans bc) that you will immediately get pregnant. News Flash: It takes time to get pregnant. Some people get pregnant quickly, but majority of the time it takes months.

-Since the news of OBL's death a friend, who I had lost contact with, and I are speaking again. We aired our "grievances" if you will and picked-up where we left off. I am so thankful to have him back in my life. I missed him so much, I honestly don't know how I lived w/o him in my life for as long as I did. 

Now its time for a shameless plug: I was nominated for Circle of Moms top 25 blogs on Single Parenting, read about that here. Vote for me, or don't. Just thought I'd throw it out there. 

I know this is all over the map, but I actually feel better.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

 

"30 Days of Me- Day 4"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 4: A habit that you wish you didn’t have 

Procrastination. This needs no explanation. I do it with everything from laundry to school work and its horrible. 

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"It's No Secret"

It's No Secret... That I NEED my coffee in the AM.

It's No Secret... That every 6weeks w/o fail (before I moved) you could find me at the salon gossiping w.Mandi w.foils in my hair.

It's No Secret... That every 3.5 weeks I have my kindle or most recent book, my favy OPI nail polish & I politely tell the little Korean guy how I would like my nails filled & I go about reading my book . I am a mother of a toddler I get very little quiet time. I don't feel bad that I don't try to talk to him.

It's No Secret... That I have a HUGE sweet tooth.

It's No Secret...That I am addicted to tanning, in a tanning bed . Sad, I know.

It's No Secret...That I should drink more water & less [diet] soda.

It's No Secret...That I should exercise more.

It's No Secret...That I hate being cold, but always am.

It's No Secret...That I procrastinate like nobody's business.

It's No Secret...That I love doing house work, minus laundry. IDK why, I just hate it.

It's No Secret...I never find anything good when I go thrifting, ever. So I rarely go anymore.

It's No Secret...That I trust too easily. Once you loose that trust, you're SOL, I will never trust you again.

It's No Secret...I am [and always will be] a single mom, even after I am married.

It's No Secret...That I want to be a surrogate.

It's No Secret...I have been thinking about egg donation, still unsure.

It's No Secret...That i've made my fair share of mistakes in life but they've made me who I am today.

It's No Secret...That I am pretty much an open book, about most things.

Until recently I didn't feel the need to hide (or keep anything a secret). For the most part I knew who read my blog.

If you know me IRL you know that I don't feel the need to put on a front. So obvi I dont in here in my small, humble corner of the interwebz? I have even talked about how much I hate how ppl try to come off as 'rockstars' .

I put it all out there b/c I have the best gosh darn reader a gal could ask for! Yall are supportive when I need a shoulder to lean on but yall also give me a good smack too, like any good readers friends would.

When I had anom. commenters I put a stop to them but addressing them publicly in a blog . I also had drama on my Formspring ...I addressed them via Twitter & they stopped.

They have started again. I don't want to have to start censoring my writing. Nor do I feel I should have to answer to bullies who are being cowardly by hiding behind anom. comments.

I am who I am. I am open for the world (ek! Thats kind of a scary thought) to see read about. If you feel the need to be mean, rude or nasty, be so with your name and a link to how I can respond to you via E-Mail or Blog or Don't do so at all and LEAVE MY BLOG.

NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO READ.

I am a 23 yr old single stay-at-home-mom in graduate school full-time. I am about to make my 3rd move since starting this blog. I am also going to start planing a wedding, mine. My life is not all that exciting, I am sure you can live with out my life's happenings and opinions b/c thats ALL this blog is; MY LIFE & OPINIONS.

I LOVE EACH & EVERY PERSON WHO DECIDES TO READ & COMMENT [maturely] DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

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I have slowly but surely been putting together my lesson for next week, I am so excited about it! Its about pilgrims. I actually can't wait to teach it. I will be using my inlaws tomorrow night as my "testers".

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"Not Me Monday"

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. You can also check out Hailey @ Be Serious & see what she has not been up too.

-I did not cry (silently of course- along with my fellow classmates) in my EARLY LIT class WEDS night when my FAVY prof told us that she was NOT pleased with ANY our LIT PORTFOLIO'S & that they needed to be redone. Said LP DID NOT take me TWO FULL wks to complete & I was proud of it and turned it in with pride. Ha.

-I did not stay in sweats ALL day friday & feel like a bum, b/c I was bum-like so was my child who ran around in a sweatshirt and diaper most of the day. Hey I was NOT super-duper PRODUCTIVE though!

- I did not play "rock-concert" [singing, dancing & playing w/E's toy instruments) with E to the Phineas & Ferb CD so loud that we didn't hear M get HM. We were I was caught!

-I did not have [a rare] 1hr & 30 mins to myself while getting my nails done & tanning on Sat afternoon. I secretly did not want to come home b/c the "Me Time" is so rare. I love my babygirl but this was My much needed break.

-I did not walk into mass chaos after my blessed "me time" and want to turn right around and LEAVE AND RUN FOR THE EFFING HILLS. Why can't men control 25lbs? I control it, every. single. day. I can snap my fingers and have it under control or so I like to think. ha.

-I did not have a blizzard for dinner last night while watching Army Wives. I do not still want to loose 3 (maybe4) lbs. I did not do fabulous on WW all week and crash & burn yesterday. SIGH. I. AM. WEAK.

-I did not fall out of bed this AM @ 630 when my ray of sunshine decided this was the PERFECT time to wake up from her slumber. I swore my feet were firm on the ground, I thought wrong. I do not need a bedside coffee delivery service on days like this. [3 sweeteners, a dash of (fatfree) french vanilla coffeemate & stir]

- I did not start my "HW" before my coffee was ready this AM, so while E is napping I can watch last nights Brothers & Sisters- I may or may not be addicted. Its very hard to pick between that & Army Wives. -Rest assured I HAVE coffee now-


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I do have ALOT of "HW" aka [13] lesson plans, but its not a Unit which is why it sucks... what I will be doing the rest of my life so I shouldn't look at it as HW, but as a way of life. Excuse me while I go gag. But I do have some interesting stuff planned this week.

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli