Tuesday, April 15, 2008

"Haha this is good..."

Another E-mail from my dad:


WARNING to the Family and Friends of a Returning Sailor:

You will soon have your loved one home again. He has been living in an
extremely crude environment for quite some time and will require time
to adjust to his former lifestyle.

The key to help him through this difficulty is PATIENCE.

Remain calm if he mixes his mashes potatoes with his chocolate pudding,
stirs his coffee with his finger, or eats as though someone was going to
steal his food.

Bear with him if he walks out to the back patio and throws the trash
over the railing into the backyard.

Do not be alarmed when he walks through a door and ducks his head and
raises his feet, because it's not a neurotic condition. It's just the way he
has been walking for the past 6 months.

Show no surprise if he accuses the grocer of being a thief, argues with
the sales clerk about the price of each item, or tries to sell cigarettes
to the newsboy on the sly.

Most important of all:

His digestive tract will also require some adjustment.

For the first week, all vegetables must be boiled until they are
colorless and falling apart (after they have been sitting out in the hot sun for
at least a week prior to his getting home).

Eggs must be tinged with a shade of green and be runny, bacon nearly
raw and all other meats must be extremely well done.

Have beef for the first five or six days, calling it roast beef the
first night, braised beef the second, beef tips the third, beef stew the
fourth, ect.

If milk is served, it should be at room temperature and slightly
diluted with water.

If he prefers to eat his meals while sitting next to the trash can,
don't be concerned. He's grown so used to the smell that it may take a while for
his normal tastes to return.

In the evenings, turn off all air-conditioning, open all windows and
let in as many bugs as possible.

Let him sleep on the floor in the laundry room with the dirty clothes
because he's so used to the smell.

For the first few nights, wake him every three or four hours. Tell him
he's late for the night watch in the backyard. He'll understand because he's
been doing something just as stupid for the past six months.

Under no circumstances should he be allowed to get a complete nights
sleep during the critical adjustment time.

His daily routine may seem strange to you, especially when he wakes
everyone up at six in the morning screaming "Reville-Reville, all hands heave
out and trice up!" Just smile and nod and make sure everyone is up and on the
back porch at seven for muster, instruction and inspection.

Then, in the late afternoon, humor him when he walks around the house
closing all the windows and doors and reports to you that yoke is set
throughout the house.

After sundown, don't argue with him when he yells at you for opening up
the window blinds while darken house is set.

His language may seem foreign and you may not understand all the terms
he uses. It isn't necessary that you do. Just smile and be pleasant. Some
of the terms you may hear are: Turn-to, Sweepers-Sweepers, Men working aloft,
This is a drill, Wog, Beer-thirty, ect.

Do not be surprised when he answers the phone and instead of saying
"Hello," he says: the room he's in, his rank and name. For example, Living Room,
"You Fill In The Blank" speaking, this is a non-secured line subject to
monitoring, how may I help you Sir?

NEVER make favorable references to the Navy leadership structure. To do
so will almost always illicit an extremely loud and profane outburst which
may continue for hours.

The bathroom is quite possibly the most dangerous place in the house
for your USS __________ returnee. Before he arrives, strip the bathroom
of all accessories such, bathmats and any and all toiletry items.
Crack the mirror and run water on the floor. Toilet paper is optional,
but if it is furnished, it must be placed in a puddle on the floor. Turn off
the hot water at the source for the first few days. Wait until he is in the
shower, soaped up and then turn the water off altogether for about 15 minutes.
All of these precautions are imperative, because if he walks into a bathroom
which is complete with the above mentioned items, he may shrink into a corner
and curl up into a fetal position, wide-eyed and shaking. If this happens,
there are only two proven and accepted methods of snapping him out of it;
yell "Mail-Call or Liberty-Call." In either case, stay clear of the doorway.

In closing, always remember that beneath that suntanned shell there
beats a heart of gold, it being the only thing the Navy couldn't confiscate or
reschedule at a later date. With kindness, patience and the occasional
swift kick, your loved one will soon return to his former self.


Tuesday, April 8, 2008

"Its a Girl"

Wow! Is the first thing I can think to say.

My brain is so cloudy right now. It has been such a whirlwind.

Not only was my precious baby girl born, but I as a mother was born.

I was not a mother until I heard the beautiful cry's emanate from E's lungs.

When I held her for the first time, I cried... I cried because this was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life. It wasn't perfect... but SHE WAS.

I was so amazed to think that for the last 39weeks she lived in my belly... I protected her & now after 22+hrs of intense labor, she was here.

Blew my mind. She is absolutely gorgeous. The moment she looked eyes with me I knew everything was going to be okay.


Heres how my L&D went:

I went to Winnie Palmer @ 11:45pm on thursday, April 3, 2003. I was scheduled to be induced at midnight, due to her very small size and lack of growth (there was concern in the 2ish mons leading to delivery- if you don't remember)....

Bloated face. eek!

So they admit me and start hooking me up to all the monitors & one of the nurses asks me
"How long have you been having contractions?"
Me: "I've been having braxtin hicks for awhile"
Nurse: "No honey your having REAL contractions... see" [points to the monitor]
Me: Oh idk I thought that those little crampies were just BH, again.
Nurse: Well they aren't very big... Im gunna call your doctor and see where he is about ask him about the pitocin, since you're contracting on your own."

Pitocin was started @ 12:15am.

I ended up being on pit. for 22 hrs!! Talk about being bloated. 

My Mom and aunt Pam were there with me, my birthing team, so we just [tried] to relax, tried to sleep. Yah def. did not happen.

My Dr. showed up at 7am to check me... I wasn't progressing very well, even with they help of pit. so he, w/o telling me, breaks my water. Hello! Weirdest feeling ever, esp. when I was not expecting it.

He said since I was only  2cm after being on pit for about 7hrs it had to be done. In his experience its best not to tell the patient and just do it.  So do it he did.

After he broke my water, he upped my pitocin- that stuff made me feel kind of sluggish.

My contractions started to pick-up and get more intense.  I wasn't ready for my Epi yet (my aunt was a L&D nurse; she told me to hold off for as long as possible b/c it slows down labor) my contractions weren't unbearable but I did need something, I was really anxious, so they gave me a sedative to take the edge off and to clam me down.

I went from 2cms-5cm in no time at all (less then an hr). I thought awesome... this is gunna happen soon! Heh little did I know.

It could have been b/c I was so uncomfortable in that bed that my nurse suggested that I try sitting/bouncing lightly on the birthing ball. So I did that a lot. Mostly during a contraction... it took the pressure away. I tried walking around the room. I couldn't roam the halls because my water had been broken. Sanitation reasons I suppose.

I couldn't take it anymore. My contractions seemed to be on top of each other and were "off the charts" huge.

Every 30 minutes anesthesia would come in to check on me and see if I needed my epi. yet (b/c they gave me the sedative earlier). I said "No" so much, I finally told them they could check every 45/60mins.

HUGE, COLOSSAL mistake. When I needed it they were busy next door doing the women in labor with twins.

I kept at that until 6:45pm when I couldn't take it anymore and they finally got back to me. Over 13hrs of hard laboring, naturally, mostly- pretty good!

So at 5 .1/2-6cms they gave me the epi. It was nice! But I hated not being able to feel my legs/stomach. weird. Plus I hated being "bed ridden".

I got to 8cm and called my dad down in the waiting room, b/c there is a 3 person limit in the room at a time (my RN was amazing and let me have upto 5 till I had mt epi put in). I told my dad "Tell everyone it's guuna be soon!! Im at 8cm!!" This was around 4pm (ish).

A few hrs later, I asked my aunt to go get my RN, I didn't feel well, that last contraction really hit hard. As my aunt was going to walk out. In comes my nurse. she said she saw how big my last contraction was and wanted to check me.  I had finally hit 10 and was ready to go, except my Dr was NO WHERE to be found.

My RN paged him, when he called his page back and said he was 20 mins out and not to let me push. WHAT THE HECK! That was soooo hard. I wanted to push but couldn't. I was almost in tears- begging,  pleading with my nurses, more then 1 at this point, to just let me push, asking probably yelling, about his ETA and location. 

Even w.the epi I was feeling soo much pressure, it was awful. Finally he showed and I thought it would be 1,2, BABY. WRONG-- the 2 hrs of pushing began.  

I was terrified that he was going to have to do a c-section. Time was running out. I had hit my 12-hr mark from when my water had been broken. I remember my DR. telling me "I am not going to c-section a baby that is less then 6lbs! Lets get her out! We're in the danger zone of time Kelli"

Once she was delivered (8:29PM) and safe- I was exhausted and crying. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I felt like I could do anything at that point. I had just labored for over 22hrs. They laid her on my tummy and my mom was crying. I looked over at my aunt Pam and she was crying.

During delivery I was allowed 3ppl- I opted for my mom- who I am very close to and my aunt who I am also close to, plus she used to be an L&D nurse... shes a pro! I don't think I could have done it w/out them. My mom was up by my head coaching me, and my aunt was holding one of my legs and telling me when to push, as I was unsure some of the time.

I couldn't stop crying. I was just a mixture of emotions. Needless to say that April 4, 2008, is by far the BEST day of my life. 

A few minutes old.

1 day old. Angelic. 


I know this is a little all over the place but Its hard to remember all the details. 

All I know is that despite my lack of sleep I am the HAPPIEST woman alive. I have a great support system here and my aunt will be here for 10ish more days to help. I am so blessed.  

My life is only going to get better by the day. I know it. 


-Kandid Kelli