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My brain is so cloudy right now. It has been such a whirlwind.
Not only was my precious baby girl born, but I as a mother was born.
I was not a mother until I heard the beautiful cry's emanate from E's lungs.
When I held her for the first time, I cried... I cried because this was the moment I had been waiting for my entire life. It wasn't perfect... but SHE WAS.
I was so amazed to think that for the last 39weeks she lived in my belly... I protected her & now after 22+hrs of intense labor, she was here.
Blew my mind. She is absolutely gorgeous. The moment she looked eyes with me I knew everything was going to be okay.
...
Heres how my L&D went:
I went to Winnie Palmer @ 11:45pm on thursday, April 3, 2003. I was scheduled to be induced at midnight, due to her very small size and lack of growth (there was concern in the 2ish mons leading to delivery- if you don't remember)....
So they admit me and start hooking me up to all the monitors & one of the nurses asks me
"How long have you been having contractions?"
Me: "I've been having braxtin hicks for awhile"
Nurse: "No honey your having REAL contractions... see" [points to the monitor]
Me: Oh idk I thought that those little crampies were just BH, again.
Nurse: Well they aren't very big... Im gunna call your doctor and see where he is about ask him about the pitocin, since you're contracting on your own."
Pitocin was started @ 12:15am.
My Mom and aunt Pam were there with me, my birthing team, so we just [tried] to relax, tried to sleep. Yah def. did not happen.
My Dr. showed up at 7am to check me... I wasn't progressing very well, even with they help of pit. so he, w/o telling me, breaks my water. Hello! Weirdest feeling ever, esp. when I was not expecting it.
He said since I was only 2cm after being on pit for about 7hrs it had to be done. In his experience its best not to tell the patient and just do it. So do it he did.
After he broke my water, he upped my pitocin- that stuff made me feel kind of sluggish.
My contractions started to pick-up and get more intense. I wasn't ready for my Epi yet (my aunt was a L&D nurse; she told me to hold off for as long as possible b/c it slows down labor) my contractions weren't unbearable but I did need something, I was really anxious, so they gave me a sedative to take the edge off and to clam me down.
I went from 2cms-5cm in no time at all (less then an hr). I thought awesome... this is gunna happen soon! Heh little did I know.
It could have been b/c I was so uncomfortable in that bed that my nurse suggested that I try sitting/bouncing lightly on the birthing ball. So I did that a lot. Mostly during a contraction... it took the pressure away. I tried walking around the room. I couldn't roam the halls because my water had been broken. Sanitation reasons I suppose.
I couldn't take it anymore. My contractions seemed to be on top of each other and were "off the charts" huge.
Every 30 minutes anesthesia would come in to check on me and see if I needed my epi. yet (b/c they gave me the sedative earlier). I said "No" so much, I finally told them they could check every 45/60mins.
HUGE, COLOSSAL mistake. When I needed it they were busy next door doing the women in labor with twins.
I kept at that until 6:45pm when I couldn't take it anymore and they finally got back to me. Over 13hrs of hard laboring, naturally, mostly- pretty good!
So at 5 .1/2-6cms they gave me the epi. It was nice! But I hated not being able to feel my legs/stomach. weird. Plus I hated being "bed ridden".
I got to 8cm and called my dad down in the waiting room, b/c there is a 3 person limit in the room at a time (my RN was amazing and let me have upto 5 till I had mt epi put in). I told my dad "Tell everyone it's guuna be soon!! Im at 8cm!!" This was around 4pm (ish).
A few hrs later, I asked my aunt to go get my RN, I didn't feel well, that last contraction really hit hard. As my aunt was going to walk out. In comes my nurse. she said she saw how big my last contraction was and wanted to check me. I had finally hit 10 and was ready to go, except my Dr was NO WHERE to be found.
My RN paged him, when he called his page back and said he was 20 mins out and not to let me push. WHAT THE HECK! That was soooo hard. I wanted to push but couldn't. I was almost in tears- begging, pleading with my nurses, more then 1 at this point, to just let me push, asking probably yelling, about his ETA and location.
Even w.the epi I was feeling soo much pressure, it was awful. Finally he showed and I thought it would be 1,2, BABY. WRONG-- the 2 hrs of pushing began.
I was terrified that he was going to have to do a c-section. Time was running out. I had hit my 12-hr mark from when my water had been broken. I remember my DR. telling me "I am not going to c-section a baby that is less then 6lbs! Lets get her out! We're in the danger zone of time Kelli"
Once she was delivered (8:29PM) and safe- I was exhausted and crying. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I felt like I could do anything at that point. I had just labored for over 22hrs. They laid her on my tummy and my mom was crying. I looked over at my aunt Pam and she was crying.
During delivery I was allowed 3ppl- I opted for my mom- who I am very close to and my aunt who I am also close to, plus she used to be an L&D nurse... shes a pro! I don't think I could have done it w/out them. My mom was up by my head coaching me, and my aunt was holding one of my legs and telling me when to push, as I was unsure some of the time.
Bloated face. eek!
So they admit me and start hooking me up to all the monitors & one of the nurses asks me
"How long have you been having contractions?"
Me: "I've been having braxtin hicks for awhile"
Nurse: "No honey your having REAL contractions... see" [points to the monitor]
Me: Oh idk I thought that those little crampies were just BH, again.
Nurse: Well they aren't very big... Im gunna call your doctor and see where he is about ask him about the pitocin, since you're contracting on your own."
Pitocin was started @ 12:15am.
I ended up being on pit. for 22 hrs!! Talk about being bloated.
My Mom and aunt Pam were there with me, my birthing team, so we just [tried] to relax, tried to sleep. Yah def. did not happen.
My Dr. showed up at 7am to check me... I wasn't progressing very well, even with they help of pit. so he, w/o telling me, breaks my water. Hello! Weirdest feeling ever, esp. when I was not expecting it.
He said since I was only 2cm after being on pit for about 7hrs it had to be done. In his experience its best not to tell the patient and just do it. So do it he did.
After he broke my water, he upped my pitocin- that stuff made me feel kind of sluggish.
My contractions started to pick-up and get more intense. I wasn't ready for my Epi yet (my aunt was a L&D nurse; she told me to hold off for as long as possible b/c it slows down labor) my contractions weren't unbearable but I did need something, I was really anxious, so they gave me a sedative to take the edge off and to clam me down.
I went from 2cms-5cm in no time at all (less then an hr). I thought awesome... this is gunna happen soon! Heh little did I know.
It could have been b/c I was so uncomfortable in that bed that my nurse suggested that I try sitting/bouncing lightly on the birthing ball. So I did that a lot. Mostly during a contraction... it took the pressure away. I tried walking around the room. I couldn't roam the halls because my water had been broken. Sanitation reasons I suppose.
I couldn't take it anymore. My contractions seemed to be on top of each other and were "off the charts" huge.
Every 30 minutes anesthesia would come in to check on me and see if I needed my epi. yet (b/c they gave me the sedative earlier). I said "No" so much, I finally told them they could check every 45/60mins.
HUGE, COLOSSAL mistake. When I needed it they were busy next door doing the women in labor with twins.
I kept at that until 6:45pm when I couldn't take it anymore and they finally got back to me. Over 13hrs of hard laboring, naturally, mostly- pretty good!
So at 5 .1/2-6cms they gave me the epi. It was nice! But I hated not being able to feel my legs/stomach. weird. Plus I hated being "bed ridden".
I got to 8cm and called my dad down in the waiting room, b/c there is a 3 person limit in the room at a time (my RN was amazing and let me have upto 5 till I had mt epi put in). I told my dad "Tell everyone it's guuna be soon!! Im at 8cm!!" This was around 4pm (ish).
A few hrs later, I asked my aunt to go get my RN, I didn't feel well, that last contraction really hit hard. As my aunt was going to walk out. In comes my nurse. she said she saw how big my last contraction was and wanted to check me. I had finally hit 10 and was ready to go, except my Dr was NO WHERE to be found.
My RN paged him, when he called his page back and said he was 20 mins out and not to let me push. WHAT THE HECK! That was soooo hard. I wanted to push but couldn't. I was almost in tears- begging, pleading with my nurses, more then 1 at this point, to just let me push, asking probably yelling, about his ETA and location.
Even w.the epi I was feeling soo much pressure, it was awful. Finally he showed and I thought it would be 1,2, BABY. WRONG-- the 2 hrs of pushing began.
I was terrified that he was going to have to do a c-section. Time was running out. I had hit my 12-hr mark from when my water had been broken. I remember my DR. telling me "I am not going to c-section a baby that is less then 6lbs! Lets get her out! We're in the danger zone of time Kelli"
Once she was delivered (8:29PM) and safe- I was exhausted and crying. I couldn't believe how beautiful she was. I felt like I could do anything at that point. I had just labored for over 22hrs. They laid her on my tummy and my mom was crying. I looked over at my aunt Pam and she was crying.
During delivery I was allowed 3ppl- I opted for my mom- who I am very close to and my aunt who I am also close to, plus she used to be an L&D nurse... shes a pro! I don't think I could have done it w/out them. My mom was up by my head coaching me, and my aunt was holding one of my legs and telling me when to push, as I was unsure some of the time.
I couldn't stop crying. I was just a mixture of emotions. Needless to say that April 4, 2008, is by far the BEST day of my life.
...
A few minutes old.
1 day old. Angelic.
...
I know this is a little all over the place but Its hard to remember all the details.
All I know is that despite my lack of sleep I am the HAPPIEST woman alive. I have a great support system here and my aunt will be here for 10ish more days to help. I am so blessed.
My life is only going to get better by the day. I know it.
...
xo
-Kandid Kelli
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