Wednesday, November 18, 2009

"No Need to be Nasty"

Yesterday I wrote a very personal blog that I felt needed to be shared. I thought It might get some attention due to its nature.

I have the option for anon. comments for 2 reasons. 1) so my non-blogger friends can comment (thx guys! love the support) 2) for those who like to comment w/o leaving a name b/c they are private people (usually they are nice comments or constructive or a question...) Until yesterday!

In yesterday's post, in case you missed it you can click here , I mentioned in the LAST little blurb, about how I want to be a surrogate. My blog was about PPD, NOT being a surrogate, but it tied in at the end. Just read it if you haven't.

Well anyways I got one of the meanest comments,which happened to be anon. from someone who seems to think surrogating is disgusting. This is the comment:

"First of all I have a child. From adoption. I think this "PPD" stuff is a bunch of crap, so you cried a little after you had a kid big deal, I think you were pill searching. As for the women who kill or hurt thier kids or themselves- they are just weak. Or they just realized they don't want the kid. Its plain and simple. Then you jump subjects at the bottom to how you want to surrogate. DISGUSTING. If a couple can't have a baby, adopt. Why in God's name would you want some other woman's fertilized egg implanted in YOUR uterus? The thought makes me ill. That really is sick if you think about it long and hard and why would your husband want to watch you carry another couples baby? You are nothing but an incubator to the people anyways, they will probably treat you like crap and put you on some crazy diet because that is THEIR baby in YOUR body. They couldn't have a baby for a reason. Adoption is the way, I chose it for a reason. I couldn't have a child with my boyfriend of 9 years. We didn't try fertility treatments or anything, adoption was always what I wanted anyways and we would never consider a surrogate, thats gross beyond belief. You should really think about it you should young and uneducated."

After I read that I cried for about 45 minutes. Then I had to re-read it bc there is no way someone can be so rude, cruel.

She calls me uneducated, she sounds uneducated herself. She also sounds bitter about not being able to have children. I feel bad for her child, lord knows how she treats him/her.

I think it takes a special person to be a surrogate. I am not saying everyone can do it or should do it, but I feel I can and if I can I want to help a family have a child, biologically.

Adoption is wonderful. My daughter is eventually going to be adopted by M after we get married (he has to purpose first) so I am all for adoption!! But some prefer biology. Its all PERSONAL preference.

Grow-up people. Don't leave mean comments on my blog anymore.

Thx for sticking with me [us]... the journey REALLY has just begun!


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Katie said...

I hope the author of that comment reads this post (and this comment) because I have a few things to say to her:

1. Post-partum is not “crap” and, in fact, many infertile women suffer PPD after their own childbirth, the birth of their child through a gestational carrier, and even adoption. It’s extremely common. I think it’s great that you didn’t suffer from it, but there is zero reason for you to put down others who have.

2. Surrogacy is a choice. People who choose to be surrogates are angels in disguise for those of us who cannot carry a child on our own. For the record, surrogates get paid (a lot) of money for their service and are not forced to eat or live in any certain way. I know a woman who has been swindled by four different surrogates. Most are just in it for the money so they can buy more drugs and alcohol. Finding someone trustworthy to carry your baby is a rare thing, and you’ve completely disrespected every family who has ever chosen surrogacy as their method of conceiving. And, for the record, your child’s biological mother was essentially a “surrogate” to you—just with “donor” eggs and sperm. She “incubated” your child and then handed him or her over to you after you paid her money. Correct?

3. “ They couldn't have a baby for a reason.” And what reason is that, exactly? I’d love to hear your cliché response: God didn’t want them to have one. The couple was undeserving/stupid/poor/young/old/gay/lesbian/biracial/interracial etc. I’m guessing your answer will be all of the above.

You are bitter and lacking class, and frankly, the only person uneducated here is you. I strongly suggest you attend a support group for women with infertility. Maybe it will help you curb some of your anger issues.

Hayley said...

What a hoebag biatch that person is!

Hayley said...

oh Katie. I love you. :)

Elizabeth said...

I am so sorry she said that to you!! If you can do the surrogate thing, you're stronger than I am. I think the only person I could do that for would be my sister. I dont understand why people feel the end to expose their ignorance and intentionally be mean to other.

BB! said...

What. The. Fuck?!

PPD is MEDICALLY PROVEN. I'm sorry this person is a fucking idiot, Kelli.

I'll tell you why she left herself anon. Not because she's private or because she doesn't have a Blogger account, it's because she's a COWARD.

And you wanting to be a surrogate is an AMAZING thing. I can't believe someone would say otherwise. That is the greatest gift you could possibly give someone.

And clearly this person isn't very smart because is she reads your blog, she'd know you are a about to your MASTERS! Hello! :-D That requires a BACHELORS degree, which is more than she can say.

ILY. And don't cry over stupid people.

mrscravitz said...

I would not worry about what that person said. Obviously there is some unhappiness in her life. Like you stated, it is not for all people, and I often thought about being a surrogate. Do what you feel is right in your heart. No one has the right to judge anyone!