"Thank You"

I have always heard the expression "You have to have the bad to appreciate the good". I never understood that until I met TM.

Two nights ago, we were on the couch and he asked me "Would you have dated me 5 years ago?" (when I was 19/20). I quickly replied "No." He & I could not believe how quickly I replied.

I then remembered what I had heard my mom tell my sister a few years ago... ""You have to have the bad to appreciate the good." Five years ago I hadn't experienced the bad. I was in my first year of college and I was dating a Marine who cheated on me (unknowingly) EIGHT times while on a MEU. After him I bounced from guy to guy Marine to Marine. I was never with any of them long enough to really get hurt.

I dated a great man [recon] Marine. He was one of the good ones, but I guess I hadn't had enough bad. I broke-up with him for no reason. From there it was just asshole after asshole.

My ex-husband and ex-fiancee, each, being one of them, lucky me.

But I want to take a moment to say THANK YOU to both of them for leaving me because if it weren't for them leaving I would have never have met TM.

Yes I was heart broken when each one of them left & thought I would never recover.

I did recover. When I was least expecting it.

When I was least expecting it I met a great MAN. A MAN who was okay with just being my friend, while I got over my issues. A MAN who sticks around even though I have not fully taken my walls down. A MAN who constantly reminds me that he loves me and ISNT GOING ANYWHERE.

They are right, you will find love, just stopping looking, but get out there.

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Valentines Day"

[via]

A year ago today, the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with made that wish a reality, when he proposed to me. (read about it here).


Then things happened and some how we did not survive the things. We don't even talk now. He blocked me on FB, I blocked his phone number.

How it got so bad is beyond me. When just 1 year ago we were "so in love", taking the big step towards forever.

I had been in love with M for over 3 1/2 years at that time,  we started out as friends and out relationship grew, but the same way our relationship grew and a bond formed between us a bond never formed between my parents and him.

I am a huge family person and the lack of a bond between my family and M it put a rift in our "bullet-proof" relationship. There were other things but that seemed to be the most prominent.

I have never been really big on Valentines day, I feel that if you love someone, you should show them daily, not once a year.

I had also never had a really good vday, until it became the day M proposed to me and I thought that was the first day of the rest of our lives. I had vowed to love/ celebrate that day forever; Until Sept. 7 months after said proposal, I ended things.

When I did that I didn't even think about Feb. 14 2011. -- This is the first vday I have been alone since 2003. At first thought I was sad, then I realized that vday was never a favorite of mine, even when I had someone, b/c I  think you should show your love daily.

Today, my daughter is my valentine. I love her more than words can describe, and I SHOW HER DAILY, so I think its fitting.

A valentine does not have to be a s/o- it can be someone you love dearly, like a child.

I hope that soon I will find/be with someone who is willing to show me daily, how he feels about me, not just 1 day a year. Until then, its just my girl and I and that is enough for me.

I hope everyone has a wonderful VDay, if you celebrate it, if not, have a great Monday, I know I will- only 10days left of suffering through 2 jobs.

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"8 x 9"

Haley Over @ Be Serious did this Last Friday & my lovely soon-to-be-SIL Michelle did it Wednesday... So per usual... I stole want to do it too, w/o MySpace I don't get to do these anymore, Im totally NOT complaining, but these can be fun and addicting... Enjoy...

8 TV Shows I Like to Watch {This list could go on forever im a TV junkie}
1. Des. Housewives
2. Brothers & Sisters... OMG did you SEE THE SEASON FINALE!!!
3. Army Wives & DDD (to me they are like hooked together)
4. The Good Wife
5. Grey's Anatomy & PP (again 1 in the same)
6. Mercy
7. Vampire Diaries
8. Mentalist


8 Favorite Places to Eat and Drink
1. Olivias
2. Amigos
3. Olive Garden
4. Red Robin
5. TJ Flats
6. Jimmy Johns
7. Seasons 52
8. PF Changs


8 Things I Look Forward To
1. Morning snuggles swiftly followed by strong coffee
2. Reading blogs while I drink my coffee
3. E's nap time
4. Playing outside w.E
5. Beach/pool weekends
6. Playdates w.Ash & Mallory
7. Really cold glass of wine
8. Sundays


8 Things that Happened to me Yesterday
1. Withdrew from my college ::tear::
2. Read
3. Sudoku
4. Did the dishes
5. Started to switch my winter clothes out w.my summer clothes
6. Watched E play outside & Explore in the "woods"
7. Bathtime
8. Bedtime


8 Things I am Passionate about
1. My daughter
2. My fiancee
3. Writing this blog
4. School/ Wanting to teach
5. Reading
6. Stimulating my mind via sudoku or mind puzzles
7. Starting a tradition of a 'date night' w.my honey. We need it. A few hours every other week, just for us
8. Life & not taking anything for granted


8 Words or Phrases I Use Often
1. "NO!"
2. "Excuse Me?"
3. "I don't think so!"
4. "What are you doing?!"
5. "You're Crazy"
6. "Seriously"
7. "STOP IT"
8. "I love you"


8 Things I Have Learned From the Past
1. Karma is a nasty bitch
2. Never say never
3. It's never to late to change the path youre on
4. Things aren't always what they seem
5. Things can change in the blink of an eye
6. You can't please everyone, so start with yourself
7. Babygates are a terrific way to keep your clepto kid out of your stuff, until you catch your foot on it when stepping over it, not only do you land face first on the floor but the doorjam will take a huge chunk of your knee!
8. Bribing your child w.M&Ms for 10days damn ear infection is great until said child thinks candy is part of her morning routine. I THINK NOT!


8 Places I Would Like to Visit/See
1. Australia
2. London
3. Ireland
4. Costa Rica
5. The "big thing" in each state
6. Bora Bora
7. Greece
8. Cabo San Lucas


8 Things I Currently Want/Need...
1. To go tanning again, shouldn't have canceled my membership so soon :(
2. A new MAC
3. A house in Seminole Cty would be nice...
4. E to healthy (ie: no more ear infections!) & Happy
5. My honey to find a job in FL... like NOW
6. To be able to sleep till like 830
7. To loose 5lbs
8. Katie's dreams to come true

...

Have a great weekend!

Sunday M, E and I are going to the aquarium w.Michelle, her husband, Brandon , their two kids & my soon-to-be MIL & FIL. Its my first time (and E's too) going to an aquarium, it's supposed to be for the kids but I feel like Christmas is Sunday... Im so freaking excited!!

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"Internal Struggle"

Have you ever faced many internal struggles, so many you laid in bed at night thinking about them. Praying, almost begging for answers. You felt like the weight of the world was on your shoulders when it shouldn't be that hard?

I am at a crossroads right now.

I feel that somethings in a persons life should be kept private. Although I have some of the best, most faithful readers, I need to figure some things out so if you notice a shift in my postings, don't be alarmed.

I am trying to figure "It" out.

I am NOT going on another Hiatus, I will still be posting regularly but there might be a "shift" in my "attitude"

When I am ready I am going to come to yall and ASK for your help... and mostly support.

Thank you for your trust and support.

I love you all to the moon!

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"April 4, 2008"

Dear Sweet Baby E,

It's amazing to think that it's been two years since you made your grand entrance. Two years since you single handedly changed my life, for the better. I don't know what I did so right to deserve to be your mommy, I have been so blessed. Being a full time mommy has been the best, most rewarding job in the world. Watching you learn and grow in to the beautiful little person you are today has been the best thing I could ever ask for. When things got tough, I cried with you and I learned with you and it all has been beautiful. I wouldn't change a single moment.

Seeing those crystal blue eyes looking up at me with your crazy halo of curls, surrounding your rosy cheeks, how can I not help but smile and scoop you up in my arms and snuggle you as tight as I possibly can. I see so much of myself in you, it's uncanny. That is until you wiggle your way out and run away to play. My little "baby shark".

Full of energy and always moving, you never stop. Everyday is a new adventure and nothing is the same. Just watching you play wares me out & I wouldn't change it for the world. I love seeing the world through your eyes, experiencing it all a new way. It is incredibly bewitching how you can take something so mundane and make it sparkle.

I've watched you go from completely dependent on me, the day you were born, to little miss "No mama Me do it". It breaks and makes my heart swell with pride all at the same time. Seeing your face weld up with fulfillment when you have accomplished your goal, I get excited along side of you, because you have realized that nothing is out of your reach. Every mother wants that for their child. Seeing that smile on your face after an accomplishment, no matter how big or small, makes my day.

Although your obsessions with "Finding Nemo", "Wow Wow Wubbzy", "Dora the Explorer" & "Go! Diego! Go!" drive me mad at times, seeing how excited you get is enough for me, because I know that in time this will pass. You will not be two years old forever and before I know it you will no longer love cartoons and I will be asking myself "where did my toddler go?" and I will want these precious days back.

E, You have taught me so much about life, what is important and what isn't. You have taught me how to love, you really opened up my heart. I can not for one millisecond imagine my life without you, I don't even want to. The last two years have gone by like the blink of an eye, being your mother has taught me that everyday is precious. I am enjoying every second I have. Enjoying the small pleasures you bring that really aren't small at all but are so huge they can't be measured in any thing but smooches and "noses". Not a moment goes by that I don't realize how lucky I have been. God blessed me and I thank him daily for you.

I didn't realize it till April 4th 2008 at 8:29pm, but you were the missing piece in my life puzzle. I couldn't have asked for a better child. The last two years have been sensational. I can't wait for the rest... I am so excited but in the same breath I want a stop time b/c what happened to this 5lb baby?...

E only less than an hr old:


E @ her 1st birthday party- April 4, 2009. 1 yrs old.


E yesterday @ her 2nd birthday party April 3, 2010- (1 day away from 2yrs old) (Tutu from ColeBabyTutu's ...BEAUTIFUL tutu, GREAT costumer service, great prices and E loves it!!)



Happy 2nd Birthday my little twinie! -- I love you Doodles.

Love,
Mama (now known as "Mommy" or "Mom" not fond of the latter)

"Why I Love Valentine's Day"

Its not just about couples.

It's not "just a made-up holiday for the card/candy companies to sell cards & goodies.

It's not just about being in love.

It's a reason to make a normal day special.

A reason to wear red & pink; To have hand towels & placemats with little hearts on them.

I Tweeted about being the only person excited about vday... and I got responses about how can anyone afford to be excited? -- To that I say GET CRAFTY WITH THE KIDDOS!! Thats what I did. E & I made homemade Valentines. Not only was it a great way to have some bonding time w/E but crafts are GREAT for children, they get to be creative & use their hands.

We already had: crayons, markers, glitter, paint, paper, envelopes, brushes, glue, & stickers. The total cost of out valentines= the cost of a stamp.

I am also making red heart shaped sugar cookies on Saturday! I love bakinf with E, she has so much fun pouring all the ingredients into the bowl! Cost= $0.00. I already have all the ingredients. It takes like 4 ingredients to make them & most everyone has them already (you might need food coloring if you don't already have it).

I love explaining "my version"(or the version I was taught as a kid) of the "special day" (holiday) to E. I have been doing this since right after she was born. So now its like a tradition, I plan on doing this as long as she will let me & I hope that one day she will do the same for her kids.

I believe that you shouldn't just celebrate love one day a year, that it should be celebrated 365days a year.

I think that Feb. 14 is a day just to highlight not just your better half but YOUR BETTER HALFS. I know that I would not be where I am today w.out my BESTS. So I want to celebrate THEM & I WANT THEM TO KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM & HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME & E.

I love my family & friends, more then words can describe. I want my daughter to feel that kind of love... ALWAYS, not just on February 14! E has changed my life & my outlook on life. I love her so much.

I won't even be with M on Vday till Sunday evening (a work night)... I will be in DE w.his family. We're leaving to go to their other house (in about an hr)... to check the damage(s) from the Blizzard & will be gone till Sunday night, so Im not just saying all this b/c "I have a Valentine". Im saying it b/c its how I feel.

The holiday's are more for E now. Its all about making sure she enjoys them! Being positive for her!!

I have ALWAYS loved ANY holiday but I love them even more now b/c I get to see them through the eyes of a beautiful child... what better way?

...

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY WEEKEND!

EAT SOME CANDY & SPOIL YOURSELF!

Valentines Day Countdown: [2days]


Come back Monday for "Not Me Monday" ... It a GREAT way to start the week & you can laugh @ me! what's better then that? (Preview: I've already fallen due to 30in of snow!)

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

I waited...

patiently for you to fall and you DID!!

TONIGHT you said "I LOVE YOU"

Just to hear those words roll off your lips made me want to melt.

It was like word velvet. and you said it so soft and you looked at me just right.

Then you cupped the back of my head and that was the most perfect kiss i have ever had.

Baby I love you soo much.

I have waited so long for a MAN like you.

It was well worth the wait.

THANK YOU GOD!

Till next time-

I

am in LOVE with YOU!

I am waiting for you to fall in love with me...

You taught my daughter to call you "dada" should i be as happy as I am about that?

Ovarian cysts...SUCK!

IamTIRED!

"When a girl LOVES a Military man..."

I love the emails I get from my dad:

...

When a Girl LOVES a military man...
1.) If she wasn't emotional before, that is all about to change.

2.) You getting a higher rank could just mean an automatic free lay.

3.) Get her a pair of dog tags, ASAP, This is crucial, she will never take them off.

4.) Most of the time, you losing reception during training is your fault. (Though, she will eventually understand)

5.) Most of the time, everything is your fault. (This especially goes for when she is pregnant) 

6.) She WILL start talking like your guys and you talk, including using your last names.

7.) Her patriotism could out-do most of your men... she will be proud... VERY proud.

8.) Be Ready: your car will end up with a yellow ribbon magnet or an "I LOVE MY _____" sticker eventually. (if you have seperate cars, hers will DEFINITLY have these)

9.) She will most likely need a pair of dog tags to hang from the car's rear view mirror. (see 3)

10.) Every week she'll have "another song" that makes her think of you when you're away. (And she'll cry to it, even when you're in the same room)

11.) If youre married, she may know the base better than you do... Don't take it personal. 

12.) You will catch her comparing your relationship with "other couples" in the military constantly.

13.) She'll make 5 million friends online, and talk to you about them all the time because her "old friends just don't understand" like they do. 

14.) Don't be shocked when she just drops civilian chicks out of her life like flies. (she mostly does this when they complain to her)

15.) DO NOT if you love her, say anything about you not wanting to make her wait for you... (TRUST me men, YOU ARE WORTH every breath to these women, or they wouldn't be here) 

16.) Most women actually do LOVE it when you are sweaty and dirty, even the girlie girls. it's sexy as hell.

17.) Only bring up the field/underway once, say it clear, and don't bring it up again. We will remember the time, the dates, like stone inside our mind. Don't remind us.

18.) You ARE our hero. That isn't us being cute, it's us swelling with pride, feeling like a princess everytime we glance over and you're standing there.

19.) Don't worry about waking her up when you get a chance to call, trust me, she's NOT sleeping. If she is, she's been waiting for you to call all night, and fell asleep next to the phone.

20.) Leave at least 3 of your shirts for her... she'll wear them all the time and if she doesn't wear them out she WILL wear them to sleep.

21.) No matter what she was like before, she is tough & harder than a rock now. She can handle anything, she will get through it, tears or no tears.

22.) Don't be discouraged or taken back from her strength. It comes with the territory. When in your arms, she's still your queen, soft and sweet.

23.) Your kids might see mommy as the one in charge for a while, it's okay, they WILL respect you, just give it time.

24.) EVERYTHING in her life will be complicated, so she might not always get the simple things you say to her. 

25.) Tag Chasers are her WORST enemy, she CAN and WILL spot these girls... random profain comments may come out of your little queens' mouth... its okay, shes protecting her best asset...you.

26.) She will spend hours to look good on cam & pics for you, this is just a pasttime until you get home, be prepared for messy ponytails and comfy pants when you finally do get home.

27.) Her favorite sentences from you start with "when i get home" or "when i get out".

Lastly guys,

28.) No matter how much she's changed, never forget that you mean the world to her, she loves you more than anything, and you will ALWAYS be her hero..whether you think you are one or not.


xo
-Kelli