"April 4, 2008... April 4, 2011"

E,

I still can't believe that today, you turn 3. It blows my mind that it has already been THREE years. It feels as if I was, just holding my tiny newborn. You have grown and learned so much over the past year. It blows me away at how incredibly smart you are. You are so vocal yet at the same time you are so observant. You're the reason I get up in the mornings. Hearing you say "Good Morning Mommy" is by far the bast way to wake up. You have gone from unsure toddler to a very confident little girl. Everyday I thank God for picking me to be your mommy. You have so many people in your life who love you and feel so blessed to know you. You have the biggest heart and love everyone you meet. Everyday there is something new that you do that astounds me. I can't believe how lucky I am to have you, it's been THREE years and I still feel like I need to pinch myself to make sure its all real. We have our good days and we have our bad days, we're girls, its bound to happen, but our bad days make our good days that much better. When you say: "Mommy I love you the whole world" no matter what little crisis I may be going through those words make it all better. In the last year you have: moved more times than anybody ever should and you adjusted wonderfully each time, gone from a crib to a toddler bed to a twin bed, started preschool 3 days a week, willingly on your own given up your baba, and you are fully potty trained. Your laughter is contagious and boy did we laugh a lot. Without you I don't know what my life would be like, you are my sun on a rainy day. You completed me the day you were born. Happy Birthday baby! I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us. 

I love you doodles.

Love,

Mommy

Labor/ birth story here

1st Birthday letter was hand written

Second yr birthday letter here

At her third birthday party, she is surrounded by love. 

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Journaling"

{photo}

Since I moved in to my house about 3 months ago, I find that I have random spiral notebooks in the most random places. It has gotten progressively worse since I unpacked all my boxes of "school supplies" and books. I am grateful though, because some days I feel like I am 90, I can't remember a darn thing. I jot everything down.

They have become like a pseudo journal of sorts, except I have "entires" in like 3 or 4 different ones. I have had plans to type them up and share them with you, but some have been upwards of 4 or 5 pages, others have been just too personal.

On thanksgiving everything was just... Perfect. I looked to my left and what do you know, a notebook and a PEN! (that never happens). So I jotted down my feelings.

I know this would probably mean more if I would have typed it up on Thanksgiving Day, but I think we should be THNAKFUL everyday. Also I have been busy with Family & friends who are like family since Tuesday & any downtime I used to relax, since I was off ALL WEEK, last week. Perk of working for the public school system, I am actually supposed to be at a school today but I got canceled on because said teacher is doing reading testing (!) I would kill to see that, I am going to call my contact at that school and see what she is doing said testing and go observe her for the testing, I have exhausted all my useable hours with her/ in her room, but I still want to see the testing so I will go on "my own time" per say. I digressed BIGTIME! 

...

11/25/10

Thanksgiving-

This year my thanksgiving started out differently than any other in the past. 

It started at 530A, when I awoke to the harmonious sound of little feet pitterpattering sleepily across the hardwood. The next thing I know my little pixie is in bed with me. She leans over as close to me as she can get and says "mama I love you. You the best". At the moment my heart swelled so big I thought it was going to burst out of my chest. I am so thankful, every second of every day to be HER mommy, SHE makes it worthwhile. 

We both fell back asleep until about 730; We got up and went about with our normal morning routine of potty and whatnot. Then I put on "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving", till the Parade came on, and gave E her breakfast. I had to retreat back to the kitchen, as I had volunteered to make the goodies for Thanksgiving and had more pie to make and I needed coffee. My kitchen was a mess from my 4-day bake-o-rama. 

I have never been happier with my life than I was in those moments. Hearing my daughters laughter while watching "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving", thinking about the day and our plans and its meaning.  

Sipping coffee & peeling apples I thought about life is what you make it and I choose in those very moments to make my life positive. I have so many reasons to be happy, why shouldn't I be? 

On this day my 2 year old, truly showed me the meaning of THANKSgiving. 

...

So there you have it. Just rereading/typing that up, I felt all of those wonderful feelings I felt on Thanksgiving morning, again. I will continue 'journaling' and will share them every so often.

I hope you are enjoying the newest 30-day challenge I am doing. The "questions" are deeper than any of the challenges I have done in the past, which, I think makes things more interesting.

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Dear..."

Dear Millstone Coffee ,

You are my favorite [home] brand of coffee, you're delish, hot or cold. When I first moved to PA you were not avaliable up here, so I forced down drank another brand until my wonderful mom mailed me some from home. Then to my SURPRISE I found you at my local market. I hoarded bought 3 bags. As of Sunday it was all gone & I am again not able to find you anywhere. I have made pleas to have some sent to me. PLEASE DON'T MAKE THIS SO HARD ON ME.

In Need of an intervention-
Coffee Addict

---

Dear Mother Nature,

Please decide- HOT or COLD. Wet or Dry. Srsly. My aching body can't handle the constant changes. One day its in the 40's and rainy and then it's 80 and sunny? WTH. I prefer the latter, if you care. Also when it's all rainy and gross the satellite gets all screwy and I miss my shows! PRIORITIES. duh.

Annoyed-
Southerner who mistakenly Flew North

---

Dear Hoity-Toity Woman who eavesdropped,

You now think I am a less mother b/c I didn't breastfeed. You also thought it okay to tell me that. SHAME on you. You didn't bother to ask me why I was unable to. The fact that I couldn't made my PPD even worse because I beat myself up about it. You must be think you're one hell of a mother, to be able to talk down to a complete stranger the way you did. I hope one day I can be as perfect as you someone puts you in your place.

Embarrassed for you-
Mother of a PERFECT, HAPPY & HEALTHY 2 y/o

---

Dear iPod,

Hey there old guy. And by OLD, I mean 4th gen. old. Please don't die on me, anytime soon. I don't need a fancy iPod, I have iPhone that does the fancy work. I just need you to play music in my car (and be my contacts back-up for iPhone & Mac), I don't ask much of you. My OLD shuffle plays music for me when I am on the run & don't want to drain iPhone's battery. The only time you leave my car is for a quick update. I would be lost w/out you but I don't & won't have the funds to replace you anytime soon, so please stop scaring me like you have been lately.

Thanks-
Your loving owner


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Dear Skin,

I have been tanning you for 2 mons now & you look fab. I love the color you have acquired, we're almost to where we were back in '06 when we were tanning 6 days a week and out in the sun 7. I have just canceled my 'membership' as we are moving back to FL (squee!). Please in the 1ish month that we're not tanning [in a bed] please dont loose this beautiful color we've acquired. I don't want to start from scratch when we arrive in FL, okay? If you're good to me I'll be good to you. Its a give & take here.

Surprisingly [& lovingly],
A Tan IRISH girl

---

Dear True Religion Outlet,

I am coming for you this weekend. Have good deals or else. I've been waiting for a long time to make it out to you.

LOTS of LOVE,
A BIG fan of a Girl who REALLY wants a pair of TR jeans!!!

...

I have ALOT of lesson plans to wrap-up this weekend. I say that every week it seems. Ah the joys of getting my Masters in Early Childhood Development & Special Education. Although I had an epiphany last night-- More on this Monday!

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"April 4, 2008"

Dear Sweet Baby E,

It's amazing to think that it's been two years since you made your grand entrance. Two years since you single handedly changed my life, for the better. I don't know what I did so right to deserve to be your mommy, I have been so blessed. Being a full time mommy has been the best, most rewarding job in the world. Watching you learn and grow in to the beautiful little person you are today has been the best thing I could ever ask for. When things got tough, I cried with you and I learned with you and it all has been beautiful. I wouldn't change a single moment.

Seeing those crystal blue eyes looking up at me with your crazy halo of curls, surrounding your rosy cheeks, how can I not help but smile and scoop you up in my arms and snuggle you as tight as I possibly can. I see so much of myself in you, it's uncanny. That is until you wiggle your way out and run away to play. My little "baby shark".

Full of energy and always moving, you never stop. Everyday is a new adventure and nothing is the same. Just watching you play wares me out & I wouldn't change it for the world. I love seeing the world through your eyes, experiencing it all a new way. It is incredibly bewitching how you can take something so mundane and make it sparkle.

I've watched you go from completely dependent on me, the day you were born, to little miss "No mama Me do it". It breaks and makes my heart swell with pride all at the same time. Seeing your face weld up with fulfillment when you have accomplished your goal, I get excited along side of you, because you have realized that nothing is out of your reach. Every mother wants that for their child. Seeing that smile on your face after an accomplishment, no matter how big or small, makes my day.

Although your obsessions with "Finding Nemo", "Wow Wow Wubbzy", "Dora the Explorer" & "Go! Diego! Go!" drive me mad at times, seeing how excited you get is enough for me, because I know that in time this will pass. You will not be two years old forever and before I know it you will no longer love cartoons and I will be asking myself "where did my toddler go?" and I will want these precious days back.

E, You have taught me so much about life, what is important and what isn't. You have taught me how to love, you really opened up my heart. I can not for one millisecond imagine my life without you, I don't even want to. The last two years have gone by like the blink of an eye, being your mother has taught me that everyday is precious. I am enjoying every second I have. Enjoying the small pleasures you bring that really aren't small at all but are so huge they can't be measured in any thing but smooches and "noses". Not a moment goes by that I don't realize how lucky I have been. God blessed me and I thank him daily for you.

I didn't realize it till April 4th 2008 at 8:29pm, but you were the missing piece in my life puzzle. I couldn't have asked for a better child. The last two years have been sensational. I can't wait for the rest... I am so excited but in the same breath I want a stop time b/c what happened to this 5lb baby?...

E only less than an hr old:


E @ her 1st birthday party- April 4, 2009. 1 yrs old.


E yesterday @ her 2nd birthday party April 3, 2010- (1 day away from 2yrs old) (Tutu from ColeBabyTutu's ...BEAUTIFUL tutu, GREAT costumer service, great prices and E loves it!!)



Happy 2nd Birthday my little twinie! -- I love you Doodles.

Love,
Mama (now known as "Mommy" or "Mom" not fond of the latter)

"Mail Time"

I have the damn song from "Blue's Clues" - "Mail Time" stuck in my head. So I thought it appropriate for todays title. These slew of "Love" letters are well over due. We are over 3 weeks into 2010. I am slacking here.



...

Dear Ole Faithful,

You failed me Saturday. The turnpike?! Really?! Really?! It took me over 2hrs to get to little miss Es playdate @ Michelle & Brandon's house when it should've taken me about an hr! WTF?! Not only did you cause me to waste precious gas, but my TIME. We are not friends anymore until you do right by me. Get crackin, you hear.

Annoyed,
Owner of a 5.5 yr old MDX GPS
...

Dear PA Weather,

I love that I am able to now accessorize with coats, scarves and BOOTS! Yes the boots, mainly my UGGS are great but please make up your mind. One day its 15* the next its 50* and raining. Gross. I experienced snow that was great, fun & cold. I don't need anymore. Mainly b.c I am scared to drive in it.

Thank You in advance,
Floridan gone North
...

Dear Friendly Bathroom Scale,

I have been [trying] to stick to the plan as best as possible. I am not the cook. My snacks [minus the reeses and the doughnuts this weekend] are Weight Watchers friendly. I hope when I weigh-in Wed AM @ 9:30 I am down a few lbs. PLEASE OH PLEASE!! I beg of you!!

Desperately,
New-[ish] Lifetime Member
...

Dear Leggins,

I love you. I love you more then my favorite jeans. I love you esp. paired with my UGGS or my J.Simpson thigh high boots & no matter what anyone says I will wear you as pants [when I have a long enough sweater or tunic]. Yes thats right PANTS! Judge away you judgers, but you know wear em too.

Lovingly,
Proud Legging Wearer
...

Dear Toddlers of the World,

...or the one in the bedroom down the hall. I have instated a NEW rule. Well its not that new but for someone who isn't quite 2 yrs old its new. Its called SLEEPING IN. Its this thing where we sleep till at least 9am. NOT 6:freaking45 on a Saturday AM!!! Lets try it out this weekend, see how we like it [hint: we will like it] & go from there. Okay?

Tiredly,
Mama Bear
...

Only [6days] till the reveal of the new NAME & Design for the blog yall. Erin @ MyWayThisTime has been working really hard, or hardly working? To make this great. Hmm. JK. We shall see come Monday, Jan 25. I can't wait!
...

-Kelli-Sue

Tweet-tweet

"Where Do I file my Complaint?"

Dear AT&T & Apple,

I am a very very loyal customer. I have been with AT&T since back in the day when they were Cingular.... 6 yrs to be exact. I have been a loyal Mac user for longer then that. With that being said please get your shit together so I can MMS... aka... send Pic msgs! HELLO I could when I had a CrackBerry! WTF!? Enough of this AT&T is waiting on Apple or Apple is waiting on AT&T nonsense or both saying its coming "Later this summer bullshit..." In case you forgot summer ends soon! KTHXBYE

Signed,

Very LOYAL but annoyed iPhone User

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Dear my Fav [plastic] 80's headband,

You're awesome, I love you. What I do not love is the fact that you turned my perfectly highlighted tresses pink like a cheap, fake gold ring turns a finger green. Not cool. You are dead to me.

Sadly,

Someone who hopes her hair isn't still pink after a third wash

p.s- It's too bad too, you were cute.

--------------------

Dear Medical Insurance Co,

I understand you gotta do what ya gotta do to save green in this shit bag of an economy, but when you once covered 9 pills of my migraine meds and then BAM! You all of a sudden stop and only cover 4, can you please notify me? So I don't make an ass out of myself at Walgreens; asking where the rest of my drugs are. That would be delightful. I looked like a pill popping freak. It also doesn't look too good when I am telling the pharmacist she doesn't know how to do her job. I'm almost certain she called security on me. I left too soon to know.

Embarrassed,

Mother of a toddler with constant migraines

--------------------

Dear Seminole Cty [or whatever cty you live in],

WTF! Tag prices just sky rocketed. In case you guys missed the freaking memo... WE'RE IN A DAMN RECESSION! Way to kick your people while we're already down [in the dumps]. Way to go. I guess I should have tried to get a job at the Tag office, they didn't have to wait; there was no way I was waiting in line for 4+ hours yesterday. Lines at Disney World aren't even that long, people are CRAZY! Plus Disney has FastPasses... The Tag Office should look into that. Or maybe look into NOT HIKING UP PRICES DURING A RECESSION! They did that with tolls & look at what a fuss that caused. Damn FL get with it!

Broke [again]-

Seminole Cty Resident

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Thats all i've got for now.



Thx for sticking with me [us]

-Kelli-Sue

"Im on twitter!" ... Are you following me yet?

Twenty Something Writers-

So Erin and Hayls both have done prompt(s) from Twenty Something Writers and I have read some of the prompts and none of them, until this one have really made me want to participate. If you sometimes have a hard time coming up with sometime to blog about check out TSW.

Prompt:
We all have something we want to say to someone. Maybe it’s someone in your life now. Or, maybe it is something you wish you said to someone who is no longer in your life. It could even be Mr./Ms. Random Person that you saw in the local coffee shop today. What do you want to say that you were never able to?You can leave the person(s) identity anonymous, if you’d like. Feel free to feature more than one person. Do it in letter form or any form you prefer. Show us that creativity!

You're a coward. You need to grow-up. I am glad that you're not a part of her life b/c you don't deserve it, she is my reason for living. You have no idea what you're missing. Although I should say thank you for giving her to me, she is beyond the best gift anyone could have given me.

Thank you. Without all of your help I don't know where I would be. I know I complain alot, it's b/c I am unhappy in my own life, not with you. You've done so much for me. I really do appreciate all the help, love and support. You have been a good role model. I can't say TY enough, really.

We don't see or talk to each other enough. It makes me sad but that shows how strong out friendship really is. I hope that one day [soon] we will be close enough to "do lunch" again, or go shopping. I really miss you. I hope you're happy, sometimes I can't tell. You and I have been through a lot in time we've been bff, and Im sure we have a lot more to come. We were meant to be friends. thats for sure. ily.

Ups & downs. Highs & lows. Thick & thin. Besties & enemy. Thats the ONLY way I can think to describe our friendship. But we both have done our growing...UP and realized how childish we were. I think we are past ALL that drama. At least I hope so. I'm sure we have many man many more years of "gossip" and "sleep-overs" so tell Hubby to just deal w/it ;) I'll bring the wine (reisling) (if you want beer thats your deal!! haha). ily.

"Shes a skank." is so far from the truth. HAHA to think was what I told not only HIM about you...his G/F-- But i voiced my opinion about this girl to my entire family. I am so glad I "hated" you. B/c then I wouldn't love you right now. I really commend you for sticking to your morals and NOT doing things you said you wouldn't. I know how hard that has been for you. Go see him when he comes home, you will regret it if you don't, I promise you. I know why you don't want to but for once let someone take care of you b/c hes doing it for him and TRUST ME YOU NEED IT JUST AS MUCH AS HE DOES. You don't want to live in regret & you will.

Your amazing, you've overcome so much. You walk. OMG! They said you wouldn't. I hope that you two are close but sadly I don't think you will be b/c your moms aren't anymore. Stay strong and keep growing. I love you baby girl.

I hope that I haven't disappointed you in the decisions I have made. You're so young. 13 yrs younger than I. You just don't understand. I made the right one I promise. One day I will explain it all to you. Just know that I love you and I wish we were closer but life happened and hasn't made that possible. I am sorry but that doesn't mean I don't love as much as she does, I do, maybe more.

You were never just someone to me. You might think you were but you weren't. Even with the break-up(s). You weren't. I don't know if thinking that helps you, if it does then think away. "one day" is going to come before we both know it and its going to shock us both.. in a good way.

I love you. You need to step-it-up or I am going to walk. I deserve the best and at first you were lacking then, you, on your own stepped it up and then you went home for christmas (did something happen?) and all of a sudden you stepped you game down. So step it up or I will (this isnt a joke) walk. I love you but thats not enough to mask the flaws in this relationship- theres only so much a girl can take before she says- "Fuck it".

-KS