Wednesday, December 22, 2010

"30 Day Challenge... Day 23"

Day 23: Something you wish you had done in your life.

 I wish I would've gone on the cruise with my family in 2007. The cruise that was booked for my 21st birthday. I did not go, b/c my now ex-husband, told me that if I went he would not be there when I returned. This cruise was booked long before he was in the picture, it was booked late 2006, my ex and I started dating Jan 2007. My parents had booked the presidential suite for me and a friend, as this cruise was for my 21st. My friend went through getting her passport expedited, so she could go, she saved $ from her paycheck so she had spending monies. We were so excited. 

But I was in a bad place in my life right before and after I married the ex. A few months after we had started dating and a few before we got married, I learned I was pregnant, 12.5 weeks later I miscarried. I was devastated, a month and a half later I married him. I was still an emotional wreck as it was my second miscarriage, it took me a long time to get past that miscarriage. Anytime I saw a pregnant belly I lost it. 

The thought of him being gone when I returned scared me enough to tell my mom that I wasn't going, that was the beginning of a bad time for my family and I. I had to break the news to my friend, who already did not approve of my choice of man. 

Shortly after I told my mom I wasn't going, I married him. I spent my 21st birthday, ALONE and sick. He lied to me about having duty. He said he had duty, which didn't make since b/c it wasn't on our calendar, where we put the duty days, but I was sick so whatever. Come to find out he was out with his buddies all day. I was sick at home on my 21st birthday. A few weeks later, I got pregnant with E and he took off.

I wish I would have gone on  that cruise and spent such a monumental birthday with my family, instead of crying, alone, sick. I should have known he was going to leave no matter what, I just prolonged it. 

But every decision, good and bad, had lead me to where I am today. I am in such a great place. I am in the process of getting my masters degree, I have a beautiful, healthy, smart, loving daughter, 2 great jobs, a loving supportive family/friends and a beautiful home. 

I am still young, there is so much I want to do in my life and since I am so young I have plenty of time to do those things. I want my child/ren to experience so much. I see great things happening in my life in the coming years. I can not wait to start teaching, I was made to teach and being in a career that I love will allow me to give my child/ren experiences that I never had.

**What is something you wish you had done in your life?


Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

-Kandid Kelli

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