"Angels"

I honestly believe that people are put in your life for a reason.

Good and bad.

When I went home for SB, I had quite a few DRS apt (and beautification apts). The most important apt. I had was with my GYN.

For the past few MONTHS (yes mons, but I don't have DRs up here, Im just a student & you only see your GYN once a yr and figured on my visits home I would pop in and see him) I have been having intense, consistent & unbearable left ovarian pain (TMI?) I was concerned, I wanted to get it checked out to make sure it wasn't anything serious, or whatever it was could get taken care of. I was sick of the pain. Advil/Tylenol wasn't doing shit either. I had a toddler who doesn't understand "mommy doesn't feel good today, lets take it easy" Ha! yah right.

I went it and he did his exam and he "felt something"- he wanted to see what he was feeling so he ordered an U/S. After the U/S, I learned some news that wasn't particularly good news. I have endometriosis. You can't see that on an ultrasound unless its a high stage. I am not, so that is positive. But... left untreated my pain will get worse & it can cause infertility, it can aslo cut off blood flow to my left ovary, which apparently is doubly painful. Basically not what I wanted to hear. But then again atleast there is an action plan, right? It could be worse I suppose.

I will be having surgery this summer (June) to take care of my endo. While in his office I learned that my GYN also specializes infertility as well, so he will perform my surgery. Until then I am keeping a a pain log. Tacking when (date/time) I have pain w/a rating (1-10.. 1 least 10 worst) if It moves to the right to also note that as it is only on the left thus far.


If you've been reading me for a while you know how dead set I am on being a surrogate, well my GYN (whom delivered E) told me that surrogacy is not a good idea & that I shouldn't even consider doing it. That if after just one pregnancy [that I delivered vaginally] I developed endo. that being a surrogate I would prolly have complications (wether it be more endo. after the fact or other complications).

He said that most of his endo. patients (w/children) develop the endo. from c-sections, not vaginal deliveries. Endo. is basically a build-up of scar tissue, hence the c-section patients. I lost it at that point b/c I so badly want to be a surrogate. -- I just can't help a family have a baby now like I wanted, I feel like I have lost some thing. I have had this huge pit in my stomach. :(

I didn't take this well, but one of my blog friends , and hope one day an IRL friend, helped me deal with it. She herself is going though A LOT but she took the time to help me. SHE reached out & explained A LOT to me and just told me not to give up hope.

For that I am grateful. Words can't even describe it.

People like her are ANGELS WALKING THE EARTH.

To EVERYONE who tweeted, Txted, E-Mailed, FBed, Called & Visited me while I was going through this... THANK YOU, I learned who my real friends are.

I know it could've been way worse, I love all of you.

...

It feels good to be back.

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli