Monday, September 14, 2009

"Single. Mom."

And not ashamed. One bit. Never have been. Even though I am in a relationship I am still a single mom. I am raising her alone.

He is 1000+mi away.

When he's around he doesn't really know the "daily routine" & he's in no way the one to lay down the "law of the land" thats my job. He seems to just be there to, play & have fun. Mommy has to be the mean one.

It's never been my dream to be a SM-- I don't think it ever is anyone's, but life happens & you deal. I feel I have done well with dealing.

Yes. I live with my mom.
No. she is NOT a live in babysitter.
Yes. She helps me [sometimes].
But I am mom... She is grandma and the line has been drawn.

I will not live here much longer- I will either get this job (and have the fund$ to move out) ... or be going to grad school, either way- God has his plan.

It will all be clear...(very soon!)

I have made some very tough decisions at a very young age. I am proud of my decisions.

I just finished reading...

Singe Mom Seeking By: Rachel Sarah

If you are a single mom, this book is fantastic. Sorry to say but if you're not a SM, you just won't be able to relate.

I flew through this book in just 6 days. I only read at night. I felt like Rachel was talking to me.

I Tweeted earlier this week about being lonely & going to bead early on a friday and how that was one of the many joys of single mommyhood and a friend said: "just think, when shes all grown up and going to college and shes absolutely beautiful, you can say you raised her on your own. YOU did that. on YOUR own. =) tough job. but the most rewarding."

That really put a smile on my face. Kind of put things into perspective for me.

I hope that I won't be a SM for much longer but I am no longer in a rush, once I live w, M I don't consider myself a SM anymore. I will be happy just living together.

I do want to get married, but I am in no rush. I am only 23...

-I have time.

Thx for sticking with me [us]


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