Monday, October 5, 2009


Okay as requested by none other then the wonderfully crazy LiLu -- My worst date ever...:

Preface: It all started off when I was at the NASJAX NEX (Navy Exchange for those of you who don't know what a Nex is) friend Jackie & her son Collyn. I was txting and not paying attention. Jackie had to take Collyn to the RR so I decided to go take a looksie at the shoes. While I was walking and txting I ran full force into a BIG Guy. BAM! I looked up startled.

"Oh my gosh" I Said "I am so sorry! I wasn't paying any attention"

"I know, I was watching you not pay attention, so I walked into you" He said.

My eyes got as big as saucers and my cheeks as red as cherries. I was speechless. He started to laugh this deep full belly laugh. As I am standing there red, hot cheeks speechless, my whole 5'1 self...him being well over 6' looking down at me I felt like a child. Jackie also 5'1 walks up and says:

"Kelli who is your friend?"

he says "Kelli thats a beautiful name"

and all the while I am thinking ::Im so dumb i've been standing here and haven't said anything! I've blown it!!::

So I clear my throat and before I can talk... he says "I'm David, everyone calls me Moose"

MOOSE?! you've got to be kidding! So he proceeded to talk to me as Jackie, Collyn & I shopped, now that I got my tongue back from the cat. He was a smooth talker! The NEX was slammed, sailorboys everywhere, but when we were talking no one else seemed to be around... Moose somehow finagled my digits before he had to leave.

After he left Jaxx and I took bets on if he would cal or not. She said yes I said NO WAY. She was like K he was super intense. I said he was faking it. blah blah. But before he had turned his Jeep on he called me! I didn't get phone service in the NEX just enough to txt. So he left a msg:

"Hey gorgeous, its Moose. You talk a lil loud, why wouldn't I call someone as stunning as you? Well since this went right to your voicemail heres my number ###-###-####... call me. Now its my turn to make a bet with my buddies about the girl I ran into, literally, at the NEX"

HOLY CRAP! I was out $5 and I was stunned beyond belief, plus a little embarrassed. I called him back. We talked for a few days before he landed this bomb on me " I am deploying in a week" WTF?! -He was at the NEX getting new boots and extra camis. lovely.

So we exchanged SN's & EMail addresses and that was that. We agreed that there was no point in going on out first date, for him only to leave for 9mons a few days later.

Over the course of his deployment we got to know each other fairly well via AIM [all the time]. I got soo many Emails from him & I loved my late PM/early AM phone calls. I went on a few dates here and there but I was so wrapped up in sending him care packages to Afghanistan and I had a few friends in Iraq, that I was never really too interested. I also really liked that Moose wasn't on a ship. He did stuff with aircraft and such.

So it came time for his deployment to end. We discussed it, I decided I was not going to be at the homecoming- awkward! He was bummed but understood. He called me the minute he was on US soil.

Date: We made plans for 3 days later. he had to get his jeep out of storage and get some things figured out and whatnot, that was totally cool, I had school stuff.

He sounded really different on the phone, like weird different. I thought hes just transitioning. He'll be fine. He called the day of our date and changed the time from 630 to 730. okay? So I got ready and then I did a few things around the condo.
he ended up being late, bad start! I HATE lateness. But I got over it. When he got there he was different but I couldn't place it. He hugged me and picked me up when he did it so that wasn't it. So we got in the jeep... it was lifted so he picked me up, I was in a dress.

We went to this restaurant he was dying to try. We got there and we got out table and we ordered and sat in silence. I tried to start a convo but got one or two words as an answer. LAME! Then our food came and he inhaled his food. I understand that in the military it a requirement to eat fast but seriously?!

When he was finished he asked for the check, I had taken maybe two or three bites, he said "she'll take a box for that" and pointed at my plate. I was stunned beyond belief at his manners. I asked him what his deal was and he acted as if I was slow as molasses.

Once everything was boxed up and paid for we were in the jeep on the way back to my place and he said "So precious, are we gunna cuddle up close an watch a movie?" I had mentioned I loved doing that in letters I had written him but his behavior didn't even warrant a kiss.

I looked at him in utter disbelief and said "No David. IDK what your deal is but I don't like it, you were rude tonight"

Shocked by me calling him David I assume, he followed that by saying "well I did that b/c I thought you wanted to get back to the "Fun" as much as I did"

"Excuse me?" "What areee you talking about David" at this point I am pissed of b/c I am almost positive about what he is insinuating.

"Well after all our "exchanges" (letters, Emails, phone calls - It was all PG-13) & you come out in that tight little number (it wasn't that tight) and those boots (it was cold out...) What am I supposed to think?"

By this point we are nearly back to my condo... I am speechless, it was our first date, I was supposed to look hot.
And b/c of my outfit & the fact that he hadn't gotten laid in over 9 mons is the reason for his behavior. classy.

As calmly as I can I say "well David I had no plans on fuc*ing you tonight, or anytime in the near future, Im not "That girl", but Im sure if you take a drive down Phillips Highway you can find a hooker for real cheap... good way to spend your deployment dough"

As I was getting out he was like "What no kiss baby?"


I got out of the jeep- told him to loose my number... he called me a few days later, wanted to apologize and take me on a picnic and then some "cuddle time" - Did he NOT get me the first time?!

>>Also...What would you all like to see me talk about, This is your chance to voice you opinion here...!

((I've see some bloggers do a Q&A; where readers submit questions and the blogger answers them. I am game for that if you all would like that.))

Incase you FORGOT -or- missed IT ; I am giving away a [custom] piece of jewelry (check here for an idea) to the reader who comments the most throughout the month of Oct. I know that is a long time to run a "contest" but I hope since its custom that my readers will be more inclined to comment!!

The "contest" started! Good luck & Happy Commenting! :)

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LiLu said...

Un. Freaking. BELIEVABLE!!!! That guy should totally be on the Tool Academy!

Nicole said... THAT is a bad date.