Thursday, March 17, 2011

"Seriously, Again?"


About a year ago I did a "letters" post [here], where I posted letters, similar to TOTs. One of said letters was to a woman who over heard me talking to another mom at the store, on the bottle isle, about how I COULDN'T breastfeed my daughter. Not that I didn't want to, I couldn't.

I was so upset about her comment that I relived the feelings I had when I had to stop BFing, I only got to do it for about a week.

Anyways, since that day last April, I have been lucky enough to not run into any "Im better than you" moms. Surprisingly.

That is until last week. I didn't write about it when it happened because I wanted to sort my feelings out about how I felt. It has been a week and I'm ready to share.

E is in pre-school MWF, from 9-2. She loves school & her teacher and friends. She has learned so much, like how to spell her name, count to 30, shapes and how to draw them and they are working on letter and number recognition. Anyways, school has been great for us her, despite the tears I cried on her first day.

On MW my mom, Nana, picks E up from school at 2, because I work until 2:30 at job1. But on F I get to pick up my girl, b/c I am off on Friday's, and we usually go do something fun, like the park or playplace at McD.

Last week E wanted to go to McD and play. She wanted to invite Nana and have icecream, so we called Nana from the car and invited her, she said she would be there shortly. So E and I went in and E started to play.

This mom, of a boy E's age with DS, and I started to talk. Our kids were playing together and I will talk to anyone. She was such a sweet lady, in her early 30's. We talked about her son and how he changed her outlook on children. We talked about how children don't realize they or their friends are different, until a grown-up points it out. I agreed and mentioned, MG, and how she is treated the same in school as everyone else.

All-in-all it was a nice convo with another mother. Her and her son Scott had to go, we said our goodbyes and that was that.

E was still playing and while waiting for my mom, I was fiddling with my iPhone. Until this mom sitting one table away said something. She said it in my direction, but I hadn't heard her or hoped I hadn't, so I looked up and said "excuse me?"

She was maybe 30, and appeared to be very well off, financially, by her attire/ purse/ jewelry.

She had said "I would never have a child like that." I was still a tad confused at her statement, hoping it wasn't going where I thought it was, and needed more clarification. "Like what?" I said. "One with problems, you know like that boy, thats why we adopted, its like picking the perfect child." she said.

I was beyond disgusted. I just looked at her, embarrassed for her and her ignorant comment and said

"I feel bad for your daughter, she is being raised by a close minded mother. People like you disgust me, I have a niece with special needs and we love her as much as we would love a child w/o special needs. God created ALL people equally. Everyone serves a purpose, decided by God, no one person is better than another. It's children with special needs that change the world. I hope one day that you learn to open your mind, so that there isn't another generation of close minded individuals like yourself."  

While I was in the middle of my tirade 2 other mothers and their children had walked in, without my noticing, and when I finished, they both said "AMEN" before said mother could say anything. She called for Chloe, her daughter, and left without another word.

I felt so empowered, I have never done something like that before. Her comment just really got to me and I felt SOMETHING needed to be said. Then after I thought about it, I was sad, mainly for her daughter and how her mother is ignorant and she's being raised to think she is entitled.

I was also a little embarrassed at how I lashed out, and so quickly. I just CAN NOT stand when people talk bad/ bully children/ people with special needs.

I talked to a family friend about this and her and her husband told me that I was in the right and not to be embarrassed. I was proud that I stood-up for my beliefs and what I felt, but I wish it would have been in a different context, b/c I feel like I bullied this mom.

I hope I changed her outlook and maybe opened her mind a tad.

**What are you thoughts? Did I do the right thing or do you feel I bullied her?


Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

-Kandid Kelli

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a bitch! Really. That's about all I can muster up. You were way more eloquent that I would have been. Well done, well done.

J stood up for a mentally challenged man in a store one day. Two punks started loudly teasing him and J told them if they had something to say, maybe they should say it to someone else instead of picking on the guy that was just there to buy his items. Needless to say, they quickly left.