Wednesday, December 9, 2009

"For Someone Else"

Have you ever wanted something for SOMEONE else so badly, that you almost forgot that you were hoping/wanting that for SOMEONE else?

That it wasn't for you.

Well this recently happened to me. M says I get way too involved, in everything. The news, missing children, women cases, murder cases & now he says I get too involved in peoples (some I personally know, some I don't) blogs.

IDK why this happens. I just think its part of who I am. I care. A lot. Somethings just hit me more then others.

I read Katie's blog yesterday & I was so sad for her and her husband. There was a noticeable change in my mood. My mom asked me what was wrong & I told her. She told me about a friend of hers who went through something very similar and my mom was also very sad for them. She also told me that I couldn't always let things that are out of my control effect my mood. Just do my best to be there if she [Katie] needs me & have a good attitude & try to help if I can.

I hadn't even realized my mood had changed. How strange, huh?

I don't know Katie personally but my bestie, Hayls , does. Although I don't personally know her I feel as if I do. I have gained a lot from reading her blog. I don't know how I will ever thank her. I know she doesn't write for other people, she writes for herself, as a outlet & to document her journey. But surely I am not the only one who has gained something from her writing?

I just didn't realize how badly I wanted this for her and her husband until yesterday. I felt like such a horrible reader, virtual friend if you will, b/c I had no words of support for her, except that they [her and her husband] were in my thoughts & continual prayers. I didn't know what else to say. What can you really say?

Sometimes thats all I can offer, my thoughts & always my prayers. I know that she is a kind and loving woman (Hayley tells me so). So I know she appreciates every comment and tweet that comes her way, but I don't know what she is going through. So I don't know what it feels like to be in her shoes.

I know how badly they want this & maybe that is why I wanted it for them so bad?

But yesterday I was very saddened, by something I was wanting, for someone else. That I almost forgot that I was hoping/wanting for someone else.

Does this make any sense to yall? b/c it makes perfect sense in my crazy jungle of a brain -or- Has this ever happened to any of you?

Thx for sticking with me [us]... the journey REALLY has just begun.

"Im on twitter!" ... Are you following me yet?


Anonymous said...

I don't know what to say, except THANK YOU for the love and support. It means a lot, and your mom is right--sometimes all you can do is let someone know you are there, and you do that. It's greatly appreciated.

I get the same way when I read about other people. It's hard not to be sympathetic, even if I don't truly understand what they are going through. For instance, I have a lot of IF buddies who have been through multiple losses. I don't know what it's like to lose a child, but it's impossible for my heart not to physically break for them every time they go through it.

So, no, you aren't crazy. :) You are just a good person! Always remember that.

BB! said...

I cried when I read her blog.

You're not alone.