Showing posts with label anxious. Show all posts
Showing posts with label anxious. Show all posts

Thursday, May 6, 2010

"A short meme"

{i need this mug! It might help reminf me to keep calm while Im drinking my daily coffee. Might lead to better days! I accept gifts. ha. jk. Sort of.}


Outside my window... is sunshine, a cool breeze & LOTS of green. I will miss the green/Mtns in FL.

Today I feel... Anxious, I teach tonight.

I am thinking... about my lesson, the move, my future.

At the moment, I am thankful... for my family, my daughter.

I am going... to be moving in a month, my future is a little uncertain right now.

I am wearing... sweats, still. I guess thats okay its only 9am. I still have my coffee in hand.

I wish... I could lose 4lbs & find my fiancée a job in FL. Pronto so things wouldn't be so uncertain.

I am reading... this - slower than I would like b/c im in the last 2wks of school and I have so much HW. But I like it, its good. I have to finish a book once I start it, so I'll let yall know once Im done, ask me in 2 weeks!

I am working on... trying to be positive. Its not working.

I am hoping... that a Ford job will materialize. ha.

I am hearing... a lot of negativity from ppl. It doesn't help

Around the house... I need to start packing.

I bet you didn't know... that he said if he doesn't move w/me or SHORTLY after me it will be a YEAR and that we will have to push the wedding a yr if I want it in June. I cried. See UNCERTAINTY.

One of my favorite... things to do is just veg out on a Friday PM with a good book or catch up on DVRed shows. Yah Im LAME & Old. how sad.

{via}

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

Friday, April 23, 2010

"Random"




-THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE yesterday. I really do have the best readers. I got beautiful comments, IMs & EMails. I love your faces soo much. I wish I could hug every single one of you.

-I hate when someone is presenting to the class and they say "UM" EVERY OTHER WORD... WE ARE IN GRADUATE SCHOOL. Get your shit together sweetie.

-Theres ALOT of new(er) music I want. Anyone want to donate to the "Kelli's iTunes Fund"?-- It started out as SONGS then I go and listen to the artists albums that the respective songs are on & its over... but I need to save my $ for my move (and hopefully the house- more on this next wk. PROMISE).

-My coffee this AM is really strong but in a good way.

-M is driving me nuts. Like in I want to rip is off kind of way.

-I have been adding alot of pictures to my Flickr b/c I am going to be DELETING my MySpace within the next week. I havn't been on in months & when I tried to get on yesterday it took forever. What a pain.

-E has serious listening problems. Im sure that goes along with being 2, but its B.A.D. I think she drives me soo nuts b/c we are so much a like. Shes just a not so muchsmaller [younger] version. I do feel like I am looking at myself a lot of the time. Ah Karma.

-Remember how giving E oral meds was bad? Well she has allergies & needs eye drops... OMG I have to lay her on the floor, then basically lay on top of her to hold her down. I weigh 97lbs more then her this should be easy, right? WRONG! IDK how she got so dang strong. I dread doing it, but I know her eyes feel better when we play outside & SHE GETS A TREAT when we're done b/c bribery is key I feel bad.

-I laugh at inappropriate times. I did it yesterday numerous times, I felt bad, kinda. I think I do it when I am anxious, I should really actually take my xanex (regularly) and talk to my GP about refills.

-When I get back to the SUNSHINE STATE I am going to need a new GP b/c my old GP is only taking medicare patients now. "Its better for his business" Nice. I have been seeing him since I was 20 I do believe. Gah.

-I have decided (with help from GodMommy Hayls & Nana) that E's FIRST movie theater movie will be on June 18th (the day after MY bday) for TS3 -- Pending she still likes the movie. I mean the "Nemo" Phase seemed to last FOREVER but I look back now and it wasn't so long, and was quickly passed up for TS2 (she is not interested in TS1).

-I am making Chicken Tortilla Soup for dinner tonight, for the FIRST time. I hope its good. M seems to really like my cooking, which is a plus.

-I need my child to be potty trained. WTH. She was all about the potty. Then she got sick. Now she won't go near the potty. I am not one to force something on my child & I know she is only 24mons old, but when she was using the potty before she was 2. We have digressed! Her ped said "its normal when a child gets sick to digress, she will go back to it in time" Well I want it to "be time" already. I am sick of ordering diapers off Diapers.com or seeing them on my grocery list (when I dont order in time). Just plain sick. I shouldn't complain, I really shouldn't. I just don't know what to do. This is so petty. Im done now. --EDIT: Tonight E told me for the 1st time since she was 19mon that she had to go potty & went on the potty. Thank you for all your prayers/suggestions we MIGHT be back on the potty-training band wagon, I will have to see how the next few days go. I left it alone, like her ped suggested & she came to me all on her own. END EDIT--

-I need to re-evaluate some things in my life, I feel outta sorts & when I am out of sorts so is E.

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Have a great weekend--Don't forget National Infertility Awareness Week starts tomorrow, April 24 and runs through May 1.

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

"New Chapter"

45 days till Christmas... 46 till I move outta my parents house, it been 2 years coming... 78 till my first day of grad school.

It hit me like a ton of bricks last night that in less then 2 months I am going to be starting a new very exciting chapter in my life.

Usually I am not a fan of change but I am actually looking forward to this one. A lot of things are going to happen & change so quickly, for both E & myself. But they are for the best.

Not to mention in TWO short years I will have my MASTERS degree in Early Childhood Development & Special Education. I am so eager to get into a classroom both for my studies & to be the one teaching.

People say when you start a new chapter in life you should completely start off fresh & new. I understand the reasoning behind that but there are some aspects of my current life I want to take w.me when I start my new life.

For starters my bestfriend is like my security blanket. I don't want to start my new journey w.out her. I tell her everything as it happens. We have done such a good job staying close when we don't live close & I hope that can continue.

My family is another thing. This needs no explanation.

Other than those two very large things, I feel like I have been in a sort of limbo lately and haven't really been living just kind of going though the motions and in 46days I will begin to really live.

E will have TWO parents full time, versus getting daddy for a few days every couple of months. I am so excited for her to have that, every child deserves TWO parents that love them. I know M is excited about being a full time daddy too.

I am anxious to see how everything pans out, I know there will be an adjustment period. M & I have talked about that, we are expecting it and are ready to take it head on.

Trust me yall, it will all become material for this here blog.

Also on another note, I might be changing my name from Urban Cowgirl soon. My URL will not change but rather my blog name as Urban Cowgirl will soon not be fitting. I will keep you all in the loop. I might even take suggestions. We shall see.

**Have you ever started a New [life] Chapter? How dod you feel just before you began to "write" that new chapter in your life?**

Thx for sticking with me [us]... the journey REALLY has just begun!


-Kelli-Sue


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