"Paybacks-"

photo courtesy of Getty Images

I was always told when I was younger, one day Kelli when you have a child you are gunna get this back TWOFOLD...

I never believed it. But oh boy am I getting it back.

My sweet loving, cuddly baby girl has morphed into a back-talking, bad listener, no really, brick-wall listens better then her.

I ask her not to do something & she looks right at me as SHE DOES IT or vica versa.

She screams... A lot, for no reason.

She says "No mama" & runs away from me like its going out of style.

The floor gets more action from her food then her mouth. Its really ridiculous.

Time-out is her second home.

She gives a new meaning to temper tantrums.

I don't like yelling, really working on not doing it as much anymore, but by golly- shes not making it any easier!

I've heard of the "terrible-2s". I've even joked about the T2 in this here blogy. -- but guess who's NOT 2 yet!!!

But this is completely different from anything I have bloged about before. I don't know where my precious baby went...

I was talking to my mom about this the other day telling her about all of this and what do I hear on the other end of the line...?

LAUGHING!

Yes laughing. No lie. WTH.

She said "I don't mean to laugh, but this is what I told you about, you're getting it back. This is paybacks, my daughter"

I hope this is not a pre-preview of her teens. If it is I will be the sole reason Xanax (or by then there will be something way better and STRONGER) is in business...

B/C ladies lets be honest... Wine and back rubs from the man of the house only goes so far...

Just like anything we have GOOD days and when shes good shes GREAT! but then there's the BAD days... I fear the BAD days like I fear dooms day. Im serious. They are bad from the time she opens her little baby blues till the time mama & dada lay her down at 8:05/8:10. Its 11hrs of sheer torture. There are days that I try my darnedest to turn a bad day around and sometimes I am successful, but usually only for a few hrs, never all day.

I am patient, I am actully one of the most patience people I know. I am in graduate school for EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT (ages 4-3rd grade) & SPECIAL EDUCATION (children w.special needs) that takes PATIENCE!

But some days I feel like I am a horrible mother I just cry myself to sleep. M didn't know that I cry, b/c those nights I turn away from him, till this morning when I broke down to him. He rubbed my hair (that ALWAYS makes me feel better) & told me it was going to be okay & that we are in this together & that I am doing a great job w.her.

I know parenting is not an easy job, I didn't expect it to be, but some days ARE easier then others.

...

Have you entered my giveaway to win funsies HERE ? Its ONLY open for ONE more day!! --You can get up to 4 entries... In my opinion I am giving away adorable SPRINGY things!

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

Im DONE

Begging and pleading.

-Soon...

Im just gunna STOP asking and STOP trying.

Always an excuse.

I love you, but...

I dont know how much I can honestly handle.

My heart breaks a little each time you say no or have a new excuse.

Do you really care?

I do things for/with you I dont want too...

...Why can't you do that for me?

Ive been uncomfortable before... For you!

NOT a good day

I want to be w.someone who wants to see me as much and as often as I want to see them.

Incase you forgot... Im way cooler then sleep or being lazy. No argument about how you enjoy that, you should enjoy spending time with me, more than 1-2 days a week. There's 7 days in a week, again in case you forgot.

Yah its a longish drive but I make it A LOT w.NO complaning...

I come see you MORE then you come to me... when did that happen? AND I have a baby... Souldnt you come to me? yah I think so.

NO ONE has said NO to me as much as you and NO ONE has canceled on me as much as you. NO ONE.

Yet I still feel as if I'm ALWAYS begging you- it shouldnt be that way.

Dont get me wrong you're a great guy..when we're together.

You treat me and Emmy great. and Im in love with you.

I think I expect too much.

We're not married, you dont have to be here all the time.

You grad in 104 days then you leave for PA... Then what?

Till next time-

"no"

Seems to be a word I hear way too often.

You would think by now I would be used it to hearing it.

-But Im not.-

I still get upset when I hear/read it. I shouldn't though, but I do.

After you hear NO so many times eventually you stop asking b/c you're sick of hearing "NO" over and over.

I guess im just glutting for punishment.

i'll wrote more later once Emmy is in bed for the night. I decided to take a short nap while she was. Felt good.

till next time-