Sunday, August 24, 2008

WORTHLESS

Is what [most] men are.

DONT tell me you left her...then when I call you on your LIE say things are "so-so" and its because my divorce isnt final. SCREW YOU!! You have lied since Ive known you...not just to me but everyone. You lied to Alicia about me. Lied to me about Kelly and Kelly about me. Lied to Lynz about me and me about Lynz and now to me about Jessie and Im sure to her about me. -wow- what a web you have woven. I loved you...you were my first...everything!! You were my first love and the first to shatter my heart. Yes there have been other heartbreaks but for some reason yours stings the most. 

How pathetic am I? 

I should know by now you can't make someone love you. Why do i still try? I tried w.you, I tried w.Bobby (he didnt cheat, that I know of) and all the other assholes I've dated that cheated on me.

IDK why I thought there was hope w.you? You had a chance and let it go to shit. I tried the hardest for Nathan. .:Sigh:. oh well. I let that go to shit. That was all me.

.:I do miss military life...I miss being a military wife...fiancee...or GF:. <

Im sick of getting my heartbroken.

I want to find "him" and be done. I want it to be great. I want to be in LOVE again. I miss that wonderful feeling. I miss  the butterflies. I miss  the kisses. I miss tying to look cute for him even if im just in sweats.  I miss cuddling. I miss cooking for him. ETC...I miss all of it... even the silly bickering/fights...I miss making-up ;)


Oh well it will happen again... eventually. I know God has a plan for me. I am fully believing in and leaning on him. I just keep praying. Hoping. Wishing.

Im just having a hard time trusting. Its not just me now... Its Ems too!

Well thats how i feel at this moment.


xo
-Kelli 

1 comment:

Jessica said...

Keep you head up!

The best things happen when you stop looking for them...