All in the family...

Im a true-blue southerner. So what if im from FL. "the melting pot of the North" I was raised with southern (military) values; double whammy and spent a lot of time in Johnston, SC (Google it...its TINY!) on my uncles dairy FARM. When your a southerner, FAMILY is always a priority. ALWAYS. No "ifs" "ands" or "buts". When I was growing up in my grandma's house there was a sign similar to this one: And I used to look at it and I lived by it.

When I was "Married" to my EX he alienated me from my family. I swore I would never be with another man who would A) tare me away from my loved ones or B) not do the "family thing"-- Is it ironic that I am head over heels in love with am man who is "B"? I said to him last night something along the lines of "in a few yrs when we're more serious and we live together (engaged/married what have you) and there's a family function are you not going to go?" and with that he replied "No, its your family, you go see YOUR family and i'll talk to mine on the phone" << FUCK THAT!

I feel that once you marry someone the families become one. But the thing is, he's not even willing to try to get to know them or to put effort into the family thing. I put up with a lot of things I said I would never. I can see myself with him... This is just one thing idk if I can look past. This isnt a new thing either. Ive known for 2 yrs now and hes mentioned that hes "not into family" unless its Andy's (WTF i know!?) I didn't think in 7 months of a relationship I could change him; but I did think that b/c this was something that was so IMPORTANT to me that he would see that and make an effort b/c he loved me and when you love someone you do things even when you dont want to/like to b/c you know how much it means to the one you love. Well thats how most relationships work, NOT MINE though. If he doesn't like it, he complains the ENTIRE TIME. FUCK. Why would I think this is any different. Im such an idiot. seriously.

Last night after having the same discussion the we have all the time about family and its importance to me and him getting mad saying how he's sick of the same convo he said he would TRY to meet my dad once before Emmy's bday (April 4). Try being the key word there. As to not lock him into anything, He says he will be okay at Emmy's party b/c its not so one-on-one so I invited him to my niece's birthday party next Sunday and he said NO b/c he's just not into the family scene (although he would go to Nevaeh's bday parties and stuff ughh I hate her aunt!) Im soo stupid! After all this what do I do? I let him sweet talk me, I forget about it all and we have "adult" time. STUPID LOVE. STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!

i basically dont really know what to do at this point. My daughter thinks hes daddy (this might be the biggest mistake i could have made...A)encouraging her to call him that/think that B) bring her into our relationship so early on). He claims her as his own when we're out & about. I AM MADDLY IN LOVE WITH HIM. He is good to me and my daughter (most of the time) He just needs to get his priorities straight (like when you PROMISE me something follow through! Quit canceling on me). I would like to see you more then 1 day a week too, but maybe thats just me being oh idk selfsish? greedy? NO thats normal to want to see my b/f more then one day a week! WE LIVE IN THE SAME CITY! Fuck man. I dont know if when he lives here after Audi (if that even happens) & we live together if things will get better or not. B/c we will see each other more. I just dont know at this point. Only 3 (HK, BB and Bri) of my 4 bestfriends have meet him sorry EW. They all like him. Hes likeable.

He says he doesnt like being put in a situation where hes uncomfortable when he doenst know anyone and im like well how are you ever gunna know anyone if you never meet them?! UGH.

I HAVE ALOT TO THINK ABOUT IN THE COMING WEEKS DONT I...

I hope that in the coming weeks i wright more b/c i like the way my blog looks. :)

Interview #2...

Okay here we ago again... This tine from BFF Hayls... Ive known her since I was Emmy age...

If there was one thing in life you could change, what would it be, and why? My [sexual] background... you know why. enough said. and my lack of trying in school are tied.


What are you really looking forward to seeing in Emmy’s life? I know its cliche but everything. Every time she does something new and i see that excited look on her face or every time she crawls over to me to give me a hug/kiss thats what I live for.


What would be your dream job? Teaching 1-3rd grade sounds corny but the hours rock! 730-3 and I have Spring Break, Thanksgiving, Christmas, National Holidays, SUMMERS! So I can take & Pick Emmy up from school (she'll be at my school k-5) and I will be w.her on ALL holidays..its great!


What is your favorite memory with me? oh gosh! just one? One that sticks out in my mind was your Bday party during Hurricane Andrew! remember I got STUCK in my sleeping bag and your dad had to almost cut me out? and we all sat by the window by the front door and watched the hurricane (or the outter bands but we thought it was a hurricane...haha) I mean I have one for ever school we were in Middle school... how about in band when I was in the second row (i was still on clarinet) and I tired to pass you a note and i leaned to far over and fell into the front row an you acted like you had no idea what i was doing then you hit me upside the head after class and I can't pick just one for highschool or college are you kidding me?! yah right! haha!! WAY WAY TOO MANY!


If you could have any animal as a pet (if you don’t have to worry about the cost and housing), what would you get? Horses for sure! No doubt about it! and the stables would be in my backyard!

Interview...Finally

1. Briefly describe your perfect wedding. (Bridesmaids dresses? Flowers? Colors? Etc. I said BRIEFLY though, lol.) I want a spring wedding ( April, May, June)...inside/outside wedding and reception (weather permitting) I will more then likly have 6 (yes 6) BM and 1 flower girl- Emmy- I have 3 sisters and 3 besties... No MoH yall will stand according to height...Dresses will be picked by yall so they are flattering to your figures and can be worn again... they will all be the same color which will be a nice spring color that looks nice on all 6 of you... shoes will all be same color but a style that goes nicely w.the dress... Flowers Lilies...each of you will have a different color and my bouquet will be a mix off all 6 colors. I do have my dress designer decided on...

2. If you could move anywhere in the world and take one person with you (besides Emmy) where would you go and who would you take? This one is hard..I love Hawaii... So probably Hawaii if I had the cash flow to live there and I would take Matt, I love him and cant Imagine living there without him. He truly is the missing piece to my puzzle. But like I said this is had b/c I havn't been to a whole lot of places.

3. If you were granted one wish, what would you wish for? (And more wishes doesn't count.) I think I would wish for eternal Happiness. I was thinking originally thinking I would wish for never ending money but unless I am happy, money means nothing.

4.What is your favorite college memory? (Now that you're a college graduate and all.) I can't say that I have ONE favorite memory. I enjoyed my 4 years, and I did em right. I was a "KA Frat Girl" and got 2 tats and pierced my cartilage, lived on campus, lived off campus, lived with two great guy friends briefly, I adopted satan in the form of a cat, Gym, I dated TOO many Marines spent too much time on military bases, I fell in and out of love and got engaged, got cheated on, I learned to shoot 2 kinds of guns, I spent alot of time on a boat, I spent more time in the tanning bed then out, with out starbucks I would have died, I drank way too much which meant I smoked menthol lights, I loved the hookah bar, I spent too much time at the dealership, I lived in my destroyed jeans and cut-offs, beaters were my fav kind of shirt, made the best friends anyone could ask for, I lost friends, I partied with the best of them, I got married and adopted a beagle puppy who got jealous when I got pregnant but most off all in 4 years I learned who I was and I learned who my REAL TRUE BLUE FRIENDS are, and oh yah! I went to class too!!

5.Who has been the most influential person in your life and why? There hasn't been just one person. Every person I meet influences me in one way or another.


And here's the rules for participating:
Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."
I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
Let's play!

"doting parent"

So maybe I am just that, a doting parent but i think i have an overly smart child.

She rolled over one way at 3 weeks the other at 3 months. She scooted at 5 months. Crawled and sat up by her self @ 6 months . Started pulling up at 7 1/2 months, at 8 months she was cruising (walking along furniture) and now at 9 months she is about to take her first steps. She is saying "dada", "mama" & "yah". I just can't believe how big she has gotten. She drinks outta a sippie cup now. She only gets a bottle before bed when I rock her. She sleeps from 830/900pm-830/900am...YUP! she sleeps 12 hours!!!! Then when she wakes up She has a HUGE light up the room smile on her face, its beautiful, then' she gets cereal made w.jucie for breakfast and 6oz of formula. After all that sleep she's a hungry girl. Then like clock work 2-2.5 hours after she wakes up she's ready for a nap! I love it... she's so schedule driven. Just like her mommy! Thats my shower time, unless I get up first. Then she gets up after about an hour and she gets 4 ozs and then we play or go run errands. She LOVES the car now. FINALLY! LoL she used to hate it. She gets lunch around 2. She gets a veggie and a fruit. She eats ALL of both (stage 1 foods) and usually 4oz, about to move to stage 2... her pediatrician said its okay. Still no teeth. So no meats till she gets some. Then if we're home its nap time... if we're at daddy's (Matt's) she plays till about 330/430 then takes a nap. She's such a good sleeper! Dinner is at 600... Same as lunch a veggie and fruit and formula...bath time is around 8...She is such a water baby! She LOVES bath time usually out around 830 in jammies and rocked to bed and thats when she gets her only bottle of the day!

She loves dancing! She loves to give George and Squirt kisses. Basically if you say "Give so and so a kiss" she will. Such a loveable baby. Always happy. Loves to play. She is such a daddy's girl. I look at her and I just realize how blessed i am. She is just amazing. Her smile lights up a room. She has the best personality, I am just in awe over how amazing she is. She learns so quickly. I think she is overly smart. She loves "Little Einstein's" NOT "Baby Einstein's" she gets all excited when i put the DVD in, we have 4... thx yall- im ready to shoot myself, jk.

She does this new thing if you say "how big is Emmy?" she will throw her hands above her head and laugh. Its adorable! She learns soo quick. You just have to show her how to do something once or twice and BOOM she knows how to do it. It just amazes me. Sometimes I just can't believe I made that little miracle. When she comes up to me and gives me a kiss it just melts my heart! or when she looks at me and says "mama" my eyes fill up with tears b/c that little one syllable word makes all the hard times worth it. I love to just sit back and watch her learn and explore. Children really are Gods little gifts and I couldnt ask for anything more.