Friday, February 27, 2009

All in the family...

Im a true-blue southerner. So what if im from FL. "the melting pot of the North" I was raised with southern (military) values; double whammy and spent a lot of time in Johnston, SC (Google it...its TINY!) on my uncles dairy FARM. When your a southerner, FAMILY is always a priority. ALWAYS. No "ifs" "ands" or "buts". When I was growing up in my grandma's house there was a sign similar to this one: And I used to look at it and I lived by it.

When I was "Married" to my EX he alienated me from my family. I swore I would never be with another man who would A) tare me away from my loved ones or B) not do the "family thing"-- Is it ironic that I am head over heels in love with am man who is "B"? I said to him last night something along the lines of "in a few yrs when we're more serious and we live together (engaged/married what have you) and there's a family function are you not going to go?" and with that he replied "No, its your family, you go see YOUR family and i'll talk to mine on the phone" << FUCK THAT!

I feel that once you marry someone the families become one. But the thing is, he's not even willing to try to get to know them or to put effort into the family thing. I put up with a lot of things I said I would never. I can see myself with him... This is just one thing idk if I can look past. This isnt a new thing either. Ive known for 2 yrs now and hes mentioned that hes "not into family" unless its Andy's (WTF i know!?) I didn't think in 7 months of a relationship I could change him; but I did think that b/c this was something that was so IMPORTANT to me that he would see that and make an effort b/c he loved me and when you love someone you do things even when you dont want to/like to b/c you know how much it means to the one you love. Well thats how most relationships work, NOT MINE though. If he doesn't like it, he complains the ENTIRE TIME. FUCK. Why would I think this is any different. Im such an idiot. seriously.

Last night after having the same discussion the we have all the time about family and its importance to me and him getting mad saying how he's sick of the same convo he said he would TRY to meet my dad once before Emmy's bday (April 4). Try being the key word there. As to not lock him into anything, He says he will be okay at Emmy's party b/c its not so one-on-one so I invited him to my niece's birthday party next Sunday and he said NO b/c he's just not into the family scene (although he would go to Nevaeh's bday parties and stuff ughh I hate her aunt!) Im soo stupid! After all this what do I do? I let him sweet talk me, I forget about it all and we have "adult" time. STUPID LOVE. STUPID STUPID STUPID!!!!!

i basically dont really know what to do at this point. My daughter thinks hes daddy (this might be the biggest mistake i could have made...A)encouraging her to call him that/think that B) bring her into our relationship so early on). He claims her as his own when we're out & about. I AM MADDLY IN LOVE WITH HIM. He is good to me and my daughter (most of the time) He just needs to get his priorities straight (like when you PROMISE me something follow through! Quit canceling on me). I would like to see you more then 1 day a week too, but maybe thats just me being oh idk selfsish? greedy? NO thats normal to want to see my b/f more then one day a week! WE LIVE IN THE SAME CITY! Fuck man. I dont know if when he lives here after Audi (if that even happens) & we live together if things will get better or not. B/c we will see each other more. I just dont know at this point. Only 3 (HK, BB and Bri) of my 4 bestfriends have meet him sorry EW. They all like him. Hes likeable.

He says he doesnt like being put in a situation where hes uncomfortable when he doenst know anyone and im like well how are you ever gunna know anyone if you never meet them?! UGH.


I hope that in the coming weeks i wright more b/c i like the way my blog looks. :)

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