Showing posts with label Heartbreak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heartbreak. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

"Strength"



There are A LOT of definitions for strength, but I am not talking about someone who can bench 500+lbs. This has nothing to do with that, I am talking about someone who possesses the following qualities [according to Oxford American Dictionaries]

Strength | stre NG (k) ; stren |
NOUN
1 The quality or state of being strong, in particular
*physical power & energy
*the emotional or mental qualities necessary in dealing with situations or events that are distressing or difficult.


You might say yah well anyone can deal with "hard times" everyone has them, no biggie. Yah everyone does have them, this has to do w.how people deal with those hard times. This person, lets call her, Hannah, seems to have had more then most, in my opinion, very close together. It not only takes strength, but a whole lot of CLASS to face the situations how said person has.

I have seen her loose not one but two grandparents. Not one but TWO very close friends, one being a BEST FRIEND. One was no older then 19 and was lost to a rare cancer. The other was in his early 20's, lost tragically to a motorcycle accident. Shortly there after his mother who was very ill, passed. From my knowledge she was close to his family. Shortly after his mother passed his father did too. *[I know there are a few other passings, I am sry- I know Hannah reads this; They are not insignificant, I just have a bad memory]

She like other girls has had break-ups over the years. They hurt but she moved on, she was young. Until recently. She & her beau of over 3 years called it quits. There were many reasons, all leading to him. They lived together, they had mutual friends, etc.

Things ended & we all saw a different side of him, a side that we never thought we would see. A side that completely disgusted us. But that also let a side of Hannah shine through. A side I knew was there, but that she had tucked away the past 2 years.

They had been together for over 3 but there in the end her STRONG, INDEPENDENT side had started to peak though like a diamond peaks through coal. She has been such a class act. She has never once lost her cool. she has never once slung mud. When her ex came to gather his belongings with a co-worker an she stayed out of the way. They did not argue, did not cause a scene, b/c she did not pick a fight.

They have stayed cordial b/c of her relationship with his family. After 3+ years they too are like HER extended family. In this case the apple fell and rolled far from the tree b/c he is nothing like his family [expressing my opinion here- Don't hurt my friends!].

I admire how she has handled the situation, and herself. She has not curled up and "died". She has taken steps to re-decorate her home, slowly, as her budget allows. To help her create new memories. She has had a few "get togethers" & house guests (new memories). She has continued to live life, TO THE FULLEST. She even has multiple trips planed.

She has made the decision to 'find herself' before she 'finds someone else'. For that too, applaud her. I am one to not be alone & used to run to open arms. She is looking at herself, and learning herself. She is really doing it, this transition from a "we to me" has not & is still not easy for her. She is taking it day by day. She knows what to do on hard days, she has worked through them & now knows what to do when she has one. They are fewer now. She is doing a wonderful job on her [new] journey.

I don't normally do things like this but, I choose to highlight "Hannah" today, but to keep her identity secret [unless you know her personally], b/c my admiration for her is so tremendously high. I have told her, how much I admire her but I don't think she really understands. I thought this would be a good way to get my point across. I have notified her, to read today.

I have never been in her shoes, so I don't fully understand, I try but can't. I don't even pretend too, it's not fair to her. I have had bad break-ups, but never after a 3+yr relationship. I was happy about my divorce so no comparison there. I know if I was in her shoes I would not handle it as well or as classy as she. I am all about revenge. I'm very spiteful. An eye for an eye. Horrible I know.

We can all learn a thing or two from Hannah. If you know her, as I do, you know what I mean.

*Hannah... I am sorry that you have had to go trough the things you have in your life... you're so young [as am I... not trying to sound older/wiser/etc]. I wish you haven't. You're such a model of class & strength. Thank you. Your parents raised you well. You can only get classier & stronger from here!!!

...

You know what the rest of the week is... W-T-F

See you tomorrow...

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

Monday, April 13, 2009

Stupid, Stupid, Stupid...

I know you wont read this. Maybe thats why I am writing it, Im a bit cowardly that way, im not going to lie. I have been thinking a lot lately, about "us" or LACK there of. Where have you been? I know you've had a lot going on, with the death of your grandma & missing her funeral, missing the birth of your nephew & school with double phasing and getting Audi and then loosing it. I know you told me that you didn't have time for my feelings, but thats not good enough for me & I told you that. Even in a crisis I want someone who has time for my feelings too. No matter what, even after my grandfathers stroke I still had time for you & your feelings. I silently go through things and I just don't tell you b/c I am afraid that you will trivialize them or not have time for them. I ask myself time & time again..."HOW DID YOU FALL IN LOVE WITH & HOW DID YOU LET SOMEONE INTO YOUR DAUGHTERS LIFE WHO YOU KNEW WAS GOING TO WALK OUT LESS THEN A YEAR LATER!?" wtf was I thinking? Oh yah I was thinking "hes gunna work in FL, hes gunna come back for you, b/c he loves US and this relationship that much" yah right! then I left dreamland and came back to reality. Never again will I let someone meet or get close to the one thing I hold closest to my heart until I feel that he is A) STICKING AROUND B) GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME (which of course making him GOOD ENOUGH FOR HER) C) SOMEONE I could see myself LOVING-- so needless to say the next man in my life will NOT be meeting Emmy until he proves himself worthy. I will NOT put her through that. (dont fret it WONT be for a long while!!! I am in love w/him guys! you dont just get over that quickly)

I have to watch yet another man...one who she actually knows and loves...who she thinks is "daddy"... walk out of her life, forever & theres NOT a damn thing I can do about it. I am heartbroken. I am in love. I can not do another LD relationship. I have done my fair share. No more. I am a different person now, I have a child to think about and Its not a quick drive up for the weekend. Right now we live 40 mins away from each other & you don't make the effort to see me, what makes me think you'll make the effort to see me when you live 1,000mi away from me? and the next couple of Sats Caleb seems to be more important, once WE become a TOP priority, then we'll talk. Oh but wait theres no time. You leave in about a month. You wasted your time & you're about to LOOSE the 2 best things that have ever happened to you, ever! I hope you enjoyed US. Because some Man is going to swoop me off my feet and put Emmy on his shoulders and that man is going to be the luckiest man around.

I am one hell of a catch.

&& It only took me 3 yrs to realize that.

Im done chasing guys. Its their turn! Im tired!

Goodnight Freaders!

XXOO -KS