"Amazement"

E has me in a constant state of amazement. Sometimes I have to pinch myself, this is real? She's really mine?

God is so god. I am so lucky.

As you all know E started school a little over a month ago and only goes 3 days a week, outside of school we have a workbook, for preschoolers, and flash cards that we use 6 days a week. E asks to do "homework" she loves it. I love that she loves it.

A few weeks ago she was in the tubbie and she has letters/ numbers that stick to the wall, anyways, she kept grabbing letters and saying "This is a letter" or a number and say "This is a number; but never the letter name or number.

A couple days ago she grabs a "G" and says "This is a blue G mom" I thought it was a lucky guess.

She has known for a while how to spell her name, when asked. She also knows her first middle and last name, where she lives and her birthday (and how old she'll be). But we were having trouble with recognition.

This morning, while I was checking e-mail and blogs she was sitting next to me and started punching letters on the keyboard saying their names. She has E, M, Y, O, A down pat. I am so proud.

Its just like with her colors and shapes, she knows all the colors and shapes, we are working on how to draw her shapes right now. She is left handed so I am having a hard time helping her. She struggled a bit, with colors/ shapes; but once it clicked, it clicked!

And just like that, her letters, clicked!

I am also amazed that out of no where she is wearing real panties, all day. Going potty, on her own and staying dry.

She has mastered feeling the "tickle" and gets up from nap/ bedtime to go peepee, she doesnt even like going in her pull-up. She only wears pull-ups at nap/bedtime, against her will. I told her that if she stays dry for 2 weeks straight (14 days) that she can wear panties to bed/nap.

I know identifying letters and going pee may not seem like a big deal but it is; I just took a child development class, It focused on young children (conception- age 4).

Anyways one of the charts (below), was talking about developmental milestones for 4 year olds and E could or already does all of them. She will be 3 the first week of April.

Age 4 (source)
Rides tricycle- Yes (E loves her tricycle).
Climbs stairs alternating feet- yes, for a while now.
Balances on one foot for a short period- yes this is new[er] but she does it.
Climbs playground equipment with agility- Ha! Yes. Some days I think I birthed a monkey.
Enjoys creative responses to music- Yes, Girl dances more than she walks.
Skips on one foot- They did this at school the other day and now she does it all the time.
Jumps easily in place- Yes sir. She loves to jump, especially while dancing.
Throws a ball- yes, and catches it.
Likes to chase- our cat, haha.
Walks a straight taped line on floor- I can't even do this, but she can for a few steps.
Enjoys noncompetitive games- She loves any game. She's always been "ahead", sleeping all night at 3 weeks, rolling over both ways at 3 months, sitting up on her own at 5 months, crawling at 5.5 months, pulling-up/ cruising at 8-9.5 months and started walking at 10.5 & was a full on walker at 11 months. She was also talking early on too; but now it is more apparent. I don't push her to do these things, she just does them. I don't push her to do her workbook, she loves doing and we usually do it for 45-60 minutes. She loves learning and exploring. She asks a lot of questions and I answer her in a real voice, no babytalk. I just got so lucky to have such a wonderful child. I am trying really hard to blog about more than just my kiddo, but its very hard. She is my life and I want to document her life. ... Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot. xo -Kandid Kelli

"Seriously, Again?"

{via}

About a year ago I did a "letters" post [here], where I posted letters, similar to TOTs. One of said letters was to a woman who over heard me talking to another mom at the store, on the bottle isle, about how I COULDN'T breastfeed my daughter. Not that I didn't want to, I couldn't.

I was so upset about her comment that I relived the feelings I had when I had to stop BFing, I only got to do it for about a week.

Anyways, since that day last April, I have been lucky enough to not run into any "Im better than you" moms. Surprisingly.

That is until last week. I didn't write about it when it happened because I wanted to sort my feelings out about how I felt. It has been a week and I'm ready to share.

E is in pre-school MWF, from 9-2. She loves school & her teacher and friends. She has learned so much, like how to spell her name, count to 30, shapes and how to draw them and they are working on letter and number recognition. Anyways, school has been great for us her, despite the tears I cried on her first day.

On MW my mom, Nana, picks E up from school at 2, because I work until 2:30 at job1. But on F I get to pick up my girl, b/c I am off on Friday's, and we usually go do something fun, like the park or playplace at McD.

Last week E wanted to go to McD and play. She wanted to invite Nana and have icecream, so we called Nana from the car and invited her, she said she would be there shortly. So E and I went in and E started to play.

This mom, of a boy E's age with DS, and I started to talk. Our kids were playing together and I will talk to anyone. She was such a sweet lady, in her early 30's. We talked about her son and how he changed her outlook on children. We talked about how children don't realize they or their friends are different, until a grown-up points it out. I agreed and mentioned, MG, and how she is treated the same in school as everyone else.

All-in-all it was a nice convo with another mother. Her and her son Scott had to go, we said our goodbyes and that was that.

E was still playing and while waiting for my mom, I was fiddling with my iPhone. Until this mom sitting one table away said something. She said it in my direction, but I hadn't heard her or hoped I hadn't, so I looked up and said "excuse me?"

She was maybe 30, and appeared to be very well off, financially, by her attire/ purse/ jewelry.

She had said "I would never have a child like that." I was still a tad confused at her statement, hoping it wasn't going where I thought it was, and needed more clarification. "Like what?" I said. "One with problems, you know like that boy, thats why we adopted, its like picking the perfect child." she said.

I was beyond disgusted. I just looked at her, embarrassed for her and her ignorant comment and said

"I feel bad for your daughter, she is being raised by a close minded mother. People like you disgust me, I have a niece with special needs and we love her as much as we would love a child w/o special needs. God created ALL people equally. Everyone serves a purpose, decided by God, no one person is better than another. It's children with special needs that change the world. I hope one day that you learn to open your mind, so that there isn't another generation of close minded individuals like yourself."  

While I was in the middle of my tirade 2 other mothers and their children had walked in, without my noticing, and when I finished, they both said "AMEN" before said mother could say anything. She called for Chloe, her daughter, and left without another word.

I felt so empowered, I have never done something like that before. Her comment just really got to me and I felt SOMETHING needed to be said. Then after I thought about it, I was sad, mainly for her daughter and how her mother is ignorant and she's being raised to think she is entitled.

I was also a little embarrassed at how I lashed out, and so quickly. I just CAN NOT stand when people talk bad/ bully children/ people with special needs.

I talked to a family friend about this and her and her husband told me that I was in the right and not to be embarrassed. I was proud that I stood-up for my beliefs and what I felt, but I wish it would have been in a different context, b/c I feel like I bullied this mom.

I hope I changed her outlook and maybe opened her mind a tad.

**What are you thoughts? Did I do the right thing or do you feel I bullied her?

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Not-at-all... Wordless Wednesday"

So a week ago, out of NOWHERE, E , wanted to jumprope. Okay I say. Lets go to Target & get one, right? WRONG! They tell me its SEASONAL! They only have them early Spring- early Summer (at best). WTH- It's 100* outside... IT'S STILL SUMMER! My kid wants to freaking jumprope!

E crys b/c I made a HUGE, MONSTROUS deal on the way about her jumprope (bad idea!).

Off to Walmart... They have everything... always (or they have what Target doesn't, Im not a fan of Walmart, I only go when Target pisses me off).

They too were out! again SEASONAL. Now E is having a freaking breakdown.

All my poor baby wants is a freaking JUMPROPE! Until... she sees a SHINY, PURPLE... HulaHoop. "I want dat mama!" "You don't know what that is honey" "Me want purple" "Instead of a jumprope?" "Okay Mommy purple!!"

So I got it for her. She has never seen one, ever. We got home I get her out of the car and she did it! I didn't show her what to do, she knew. GENIUS! For being 2, shes pretty dang good. She loves her "hoopiehoopie"

As you all [most] know E is PICKY when it comes to food. Well I am sick & Tired of that! So today MOTHER OF THE YR bribed her child with what she really wanted with what I WANTED her to eat. 

Applesauce for goldfish. Fair? I  think so. I thought this was to freaking cute NOT to share.  

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Baby Talk"

Once you become a mother or (nanny) you instantly learn to understand and speak a new language. Baby talk.

I realized this the other day [relatively speaking], I was Skype-ing w.my Bestie whilst getting E dressed & talking to her. 

I said "leggie-loos" and was quickly repeated by my little. Hayls heard this phrase... and said "what the heck is a leggie-loo?" 

Me: "Its what I call E's pants, shorts, etc... her bottoms basically"

It was at that moment that I began to tell Hayls, who is E's Godmother, all the silly names I have for things. She not only thought I was a kook, but she was laughing b/c some of them are absolutely ridiculous. Ridic I tell you.

Being a young, single, SAHM [stay-at-home-mom] & full time student, who gets very little adult time, I found myself having full-on convos with my, at the time, infant. 

I was coming up with all sorts of crazy, funny kid words, to make her smile then giggle, that with time just stuck. Esp. now that E talks, like a pro, I love hearing her repat my silly made-up words/phrases. 

I have found giving everything its "own name" makes things more fun & interesting, plus it makes E giggle & her giggle makes my heart swell to triple its size. 

I know from some of my teaching classes & talking to my pre-K & kgarden teacher friends that it can be is a hassle when every child has a different name for things as they have to make sure every one of their 25-30, 3-5yr olds use the same name for things, for teaching purposes.

But at this point I have been using these words for almost 2 yrs now, I am not changing my ways. E knows that "leggie-loos" are also called pants or shorts and she calls skirts dresses but it close enough. 

I am not the only one who comes up with some crazy words for things. E is so creative with her names for things, but I think that more has to do with her being a toddler and not being able to pronounce properly or know completely what something is. I as parents will correct her but, you can only correct so many times before they get self conscious & their talking becomes limited. I correct her and try to lead her in the correct [speech] direction but, I do not over correct her. So between us two crazies we have an insane little vocabulary. I love that we have our own special language. 

It is something that every parent does. My mom did it, she used & is using again now, w.E some of the same words & phrases that HER MOM used. Now, I have come up w.some originals but I do use some of the ones passed down to me by my mom (from hers).

I don't think this is a child only thing. For example my friends who don't have [human] children yet, but have furbabies- they talk this way to them, b/c their pets are their babies.  I think it is an ornate thing that women are born with. Hell I do it with my parents not so much a puppy anymore 1yrold golden retriever 'puppy' Dallas. 

It's not something that I planed on doing you know being a nut case, it just sort of happened and something that become so everyday natural. I don't just do it to my kiddo either. I do it to every child under the age of 8 poor kids.  

Oh stop judging! YOU DO IT TO EVERY LITTLE kid you see too!! 

Don't even say it's a woman thing b/c M does it to E on occasion... and he is in no way the exception. 

**Let me hear it... Do you "baby talk"? To whom do you do it? You kids? Furbabies? Or am I a loonietoon?

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Lurkers"

Okay. I am not asking people to delurk  themselves, persay. But it has come to my attention that I have a serious 'lurker' issue on this here blog. 

According to the all knowing Google Reader I have 44 subscribers- But I have 42 followers via Blogger and on average 3-5 comments a day. 

Now, I know some of my subscribers may be followers as well but I KNOW I have wordpress readers who cannot follow me but can subscribe, as well as people who just subscribe but don't follow or visa versa, so some of those 44 are independent of the 42. I also KNOW that I have people who read me DAILY who are nether a follower or a subscriber. 

I have also seen a decline in comments since I have taken away the option for anonymous comments. Is it b/c the content is lacking? or did you all just like that option? (sn: I know I had some non-bloggers who commented who used that option, I might consider bringing it back, idk yet). You all can thank "Bianca" and "Miss (Mr?) Anonymous" I don't think I have any male readers, how bored would they be reading this blog? Unless they are gay, Do I have any gay readers? Let yourself be known... I love the Gays!! I digress. You can think the aforementioned for me not allowing anon. comments. I am not going to be trashed on my own blog. Thank you but no thanks.

Also if you read my blog- do just that and go about your day. You don't need to discuss it with anyone. I mean seriously this is not the halls of Jr. High. This is not the start of the gossip mill. I am a [young] mommy blogger. I am just living my life. I didn't intend for this blog to be about my "mommyhood" but lets face it- its about my life and since I had E, my life has morphed and molded and its ALL about her. Thats just how it goes. 

I am working on sprucing things up around here. I hope this leads to a more positive atmosphere. 

I love you all. You are seriously the pb to my j!!!

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Color Blindness"

{Via} *Warning: Long post ahead!

Definition: Color blindness is the inability to see certain colors in the usual way.

Yes, I think E is colorblind. Although it is known as the "Mans Disease" (its not really a disease, though). Her biological father, [Genetic Donor], was colorblind if I remember correctly. We have been working on colors for a while now and she is having a hard time. Everything seems to be "BLUE". At first it was cute, now I have reason for concern. Esp, when I tell her this is "red" (while hold up something that is very red, like an ALL red flash card) then ask her, again, "what color is this?" and she says "Blue". Yesterday we worked for a LONG time with our colors book, and for the first 10/15 mins everything was blue. I told her to "relax & focus" then she would repeat me on the colors then everything was "green" or "white" then we were back to "blue". M thinks I am bored so I look for things to be wrong. I think I am being diligent. NOTHING, aside from constant ear infections (and I can't make THOSE up), has ever been wrong with her. 

Sadly, she seems to have gotten a lot from GD. Left handed. Fair, sensitive skin. Oddly spaced teeth. Hair color. Build (This is the only ONE I am THANKFUL for, she'll be taller than I was (5foot) and skinny- his family is all skinny... mine, well we're southern & like our comfort foods- A lot). Blood type- Sadly, she didn't get mine, him and I were the same letter, just he was positive and I was negative, made for some fun shots during my pregnancy. I digress. So why wouldn't she have inherited this poor trait too?

...

Symptoms:

Symptoms vary from person to person, but may include:

• Trouble seeing colors and the brightness of colors in the usual way
• Inability to tell the difference between shades of the same or similar colors

Often, the symptoms may be so mild that some persons do not know they are color blind. A parent may notice signs of color blindness when a child is learning his or her colors. (this is were we are right now... I will be keeping a very keen eye on miss E)

Rapid, side-to-side eye movements and other symptoms may occur in severe cases.

Treatment

There is no known treatment. -- Well Duh... I knew this.

Causes

Color blindness occurs when there is a problem with the color-sensing materials (pigments) in certain nerve cells of the eye. These cells are called cones. They are found in the retina, the light-sensitive layer of tissue at the back of the inner eye.

If you are missing just one pigment, you might have trouble telling the difference between red and green (so far she seems to not "see" red). This is the most common type of color blindness (makes sense why she doesn't "see" red then). Other times, people have trouble seeing blue-yellow colors (Nope! She "sees" Blue just fine, or so she says). People with blue-yellow color blindness almost always have problems identify reds and greens (if she can "see" blue, why can't she "see" red, too?!), too.

The most severe form of color blindness is achromatopsia. A person with this rare condition cannot see any color. Achromatopsia is often associated with lazy eye, nystagmus (small, jerky eye movements), severe light sensitivity, and extremely poor vision. 

Most color blindness is due to a genetic problem (Thanks to her GD). (See: X-linked recessive) About 1 in 10 men have some form of color blindness. Very few women are color blind (Leave it to my daughter to be one of the few women... doesn't mean she can run off and be "One of the few" - 5pts if you get that).

...

I know I might be jumping the gun on this, but I would rather be "safe then sorry". You can never be to cautious with your children, esp when the GD has said problem & when she was quick learning everything else (rolling over, sitting, crawling, walking, talking, counting, etc..) and now she can't grasp this? She's 26mons and can count to 15 unassisted... 20 with help, I don't know much but I think thats great! Shes doing great on the "ABC's", She knows the "Wheels on the Bus", Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star", "Itsy, Bitsy Spider" & a few others. Basically she excels so it doesn't make sense for her not to here. 

I have been pushing colors so hard & we both get so frustrated, if she is C.B., then obviously I would, back off. If she's not, then I need to find a new approach, b/c the one I am using now sucks doesn't work for E, every child is different, and I need to find her niche. 

I am going to wait a little while, keep working with her, see if it resolves, if it doesn't, I will talk to her ped (in FL b/c I am newly un-fond of her PA peds office) & go from there. I am hoping it's a phase, a "blue" phase. 

If she is C.B. I won't love her anyless, I will just remember that I will have to buy/pick out her clothes... FOREVER!! So when she goes away to college I will have to label all her clothes for her, so she doesn't walk out of her dorm looking a fool. No, I didn't JUST say that, that was b.a.d. 

**Freaders... are any of your children/nieces/nephews/kids you babysit/teach/etc C.B.? or are any of their friends? How did their parents/guardians figure it out? Let me know!!!

...

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

  

"Not Me Monday"

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week.


- I did not get called a "slut" and a "disgrace" a "bitch" among other things at the grocery store by a ma who is not only ignorant but deserves to have my fiancees fist in his face. All b/c accidently bummed him w/my cart b/c I bent down to pick up E's sippie cup. He saw that I was young w.a child and went on his tirade... I did not almost cry in the grocery store. I did not get a few coupons from the manager who over heard the whole thing though...

-I did not use my teeth to open my twist top wine, b.c M was at Chips. Desperate times. Im also just that classy

-I did not drink said wine out of an oversized coffee mug. God I miss drinking icy white out of a 'red glass'-I MISS FL b/c thats where my huge wine glasses are... and then take a hot bubble bath b/c my honey wasn't home yet & the magic, so sad were loosing, bad.

-I did not wear my adorable apron when I baked on Saturday, when I put it on E wanted one too. I might have to get her, a MATCHING one b/c she has become mama's little helper in the kitchen, when I bake. Not so much when I cook.

-I did not laugh out loud when my honey called me from the side of the street, SAT, telling me "Black Beauty" aka his hunk of junk Explorer's engine blew up. Idk what he was more upset about the car or the $50 worth of gas he had put in it that AM.

-I did not squee LOUDLY when we pulled into the parking lot of the aquarium, Sunday. It was not my first time, EVER. I did not touch a jellyfish and squee again. I was running around w.my 5y/o niece and 2y/o daughter like a kid. It was so much fun!

-I did not enjoy seeing the aquarium through my daughters eyes. She would exclaim "Look Mama! Daddy LOOK!!!" grab our hands and drag us or if we were holding her, our faces so we were looking at what she was... It was beyond amazing. Her personality was really shining through yesterday.

A few of the over 80 Aquarium Pics I took in a few hrs- I really want a 'big/nice Halys esq." camera, but I need a new Mac more- PRIORIES:

Daddy & E watching the seal show:


Me & my pretty, after the seal show:


Boo, Jori & E looking at "Nemo" & "Dori" I just love this picture b/c you can see J being the big sister/cousin & pointing out the fish to the younger kids! Priceless:


A little lot blury, but E slowly but surely looking @ the Sharks:


E & Daddy looking @ the Penguins:


...

I have some interesting stuff planned this week, if I don't punch blogger first! Blog at chya tomorrow lovers!

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"Random"

-THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE yesterday. I really do have the best readers. I got beautiful comments, IMs & EMails. I love your faces soo much. I wish I could hug every single one of you.

-I hate when someone is presenting to the class and they say "UM" EVERY OTHER WORD... WE ARE IN GRADUATE SCHOOL. Get your shit together sweetie.

-Theres ALOT of new(er) music I want. Anyone want to donate to the "Kelli's iTunes Fund"?-- It started out as SONGS then I go and listen to the artists albums that the respective songs are on & its over... but I need to save my $ for my move (and hopefully the house- more on this next wk. PROMISE).

-My coffee this AM is really strong but in a good way.

-M is driving me nuts. Like in I want to rip is off kind of way.

-I have been adding alot of pictures to my Flickr b/c I am going to be DELETING my MySpace within the next week. I havn't been on in months & when I tried to get on yesterday it took forever. What a pain.

-E has serious listening problems. Im sure that goes along with being 2, but its B.A.D. I think she drives me soo nuts b/c we are so much a like. Shes just a not so muchsmaller [younger] version. I do feel like I am looking at myself a lot of the time. Ah Karma.

-Remember how giving E oral meds was bad? Well she has allergies & needs eye drops... OMG I have to lay her on the floor, then basically lay on top of her to hold her down. I weigh 97lbs more then her this should be easy, right? WRONG! IDK how she got so dang strong. I dread doing it, but I know her eyes feel better when we play outside & SHE GETS A TREAT when we're done b/c bribery is key I feel bad.

-I laugh at inappropriate times. I did it yesterday numerous times, I felt bad, kinda. I think I do it when I am anxious, I should really actually take my xanex (regularly) and talk to my GP about refills.

-When I get back to the SUNSHINE STATE I am going to need a new GP b/c my old GP is only taking medicare patients now. "Its better for his business" Nice. I have been seeing him since I was 20 I do believe. Gah.

-I have decided (with help from GodMommy Hayls & Nana) that E's FIRST movie theater movie will be on June 18th (the day after MY bday) for TS3 -- Pending she still likes the movie. I mean the "Nemo" Phase seemed to last FOREVER but I look back now and it wasn't so long, and was quickly passed up for TS2 (she is not interested in TS1).

-I am making Chicken Tortilla Soup for dinner tonight, for the FIRST time. I hope its good. M seems to really like my cooking, which is a plus.

-I need my child to be potty trained. WTH. She was all about the potty. Then she got sick. Now she won't go near the potty. I am not one to force something on my child & I know she is only 24mons old, but when she was using the potty before she was 2. We have digressed! Her ped said "its normal when a child gets sick to digress, she will go back to it in time" Well I want it to "be time" already. I am sick of ordering diapers off Diapers.com or seeing them on my grocery list (when I dont order in time). Just plain sick. I shouldn't complain, I really shouldn't. I just don't know what to do. This is so petty. Im done now. --EDIT: Tonight E told me for the 1st time since she was 19mon that she had to go potty & went on the potty. Thank you for all your prayers/suggestions we MIGHT be back on the potty-training band wagon, I will have to see how the next few days go. I left it alone, like her ped suggested & she came to me all on her own. END EDIT--

-I need to re-evaluate some things in my life, I feel outta sorts & when I am out of sorts so is E.

...

Have a great weekend--Don't forget National Infertility Awareness Week starts tomorrow, April 24 and runs through May 1.

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"Toddler Thursday"

So as most [all] you know I am in grad school. Well we are in a unit on EARLY literacy, in my Early Lit. class. Coincidence? Doubtful.

Well for this particular class, I had to go observe a toddler class at a child care center, to look at all the different modes for early literacy in a toddler class room.

I was reluctant, seeing as I have my very own toddler at home. Haha. But its for a grade & it was a chance to get out of the house for a few hours.

I chose to do my toddler observation at the learning center that is affiliated with my college.

Lets just say when I got there it was NOTHING like I was expecting.

**Sidebar... the following was not included in my observation critique that I turned in for a grade... this is all blog fodder for my lovely freders!! /end sidebar**

...

I was in the T1 room, these kids were 12-23mons of age- Minus one boy. He was 15 mons and in the INFANT room?

I was perplexed. -- Why was this TODDLER still in the infant room (Infants in child care are 6wks- 11 mons)? He came to the T1 room for snack, b/c they couldn't have solids in the infant room, and b/c the infant teacher used to teach toddlers for 22yrs (shes was 6mons from retirement) and thought he needed to socialize with other kids his own age; seeing as for the time being he was the ONLY one in the infant room. The other 2 children are 10 & 11 mons & are both sick.

I took it upon myself to ask his teacher. I figured I could ask just about anything, I was here 'learning' and they knew that and would prolly ask just about anything because of that.

Me: Ms. B, is it too forward if I was too ask why Samuel is still in your room?
Ms. B: No honey, he is in my care still, b/c of his mothers request, as you can see I think it is silly-
Me: Mother's request?
Ms. B: yes, apparently when he moved up to this class from infant he got hit on day 1, so she requested to the director he move back down.

[while she is telling me this story- Sam is in the middle of beating the crap out of Olivia w.a rubber hammer (!!!)]

Me: Is that so?
Ms. B: Apparently [while rolling her eyes]
Me: Well HE is beating Olivia with a hammer right now [points to the said action]

He is being held back socially by being in the infant room. It is terribly sad.

According to the director, who I spoke with before I left, told me by law he can ONLY be in there until they get another infant, which will be in 2 weeks. They will be getting a 5 month old and at that time they will be moving him to the MT [mixed toddlers] room. That room varies in age from 16mons- 3 yrs.

...

I was excited, after I got past my hesitation, to see how other toddlers act. It was nice to know that E is not the only one who has listening "issues".

Example #1:

Ethan hit Jade-- the teacher says to Ethan "Ethan we don't hit girls, please say you're sorry" (keep in mind these children are ALL under 2 yrs old, they barely talk, and if they do, it isn't well. Which surprised me b/c E talks very well & she isn't quiet 2 yet) Ethan mumbles something I am sure is supposed to be sorry and walks away... not longer then 3 minutes later he hit Lukas! In his defense, He did not hit a GIRL this time.

Miss Lisa should have said: "Ethan we don't hit our friends (thats what they call ALL of their classmates "friends"- as to not single anyone out) it's not very nice"

I am the only adult who saw him hit Lukas, so I walked over to the boys and I had a little quiet talk with them about hitting; Before I walked away I asked them if they understood me, they both said something that resembled yes. I was pleased. So were both of their teachers. They both praised me (so did Ms. B, who was still in the room with her "infant")

...

Example #2:

Miss Lisa [ML]: Alrighty kiddys!! Lets line up by the gate (babygate) for snack!! [Not a single child moves]
Miss Lisa's Aide: [Physically putting children in line] Snack time!!

I asked ML if I could try something b/c I used to work w.toddlers in child care in 2007. She said of course.

I sang this little song about snack time. I felt 9 pairs of eyes immediately on me- good sign.

Then I asked "Who's belly's want snack?" (not every child will know what the word hungry means yet)

Everyone but Maggie raised their hands. I said "Okay lets get line so we can wash our hands... we don't want our germs to eat snack with us, do we?" They all shook their heads no.

Success~

The two teachers were in awe! They kept saying "Can we hire you, NOW?" It was a great feeling.

I didn't realize how much I missed working [in childcare till I was in that setting]. I know that I could never work doing anything else unless it was with children. I am so lucky I found my calling. I just want to speed this process up!!

They are short a few teachers, I would gladly work there, but there are two factors... 1) They wouldn't pay me enough to put E there (or anywhere else) full time 2) Or enough to make it worth my while. All my pay would go to pay for E's childcare. I would get a discount for being a student at the affiliated college -or- being an employee, not both.

...

Example #3:

During Snack time Judas was sitting next to Olivia. They were having apple slices & milk. Yum. Well apparently Jude eats extremely fast, like nascar fast. Well even if the children finish they are still expected to sit at the table with the rest of their friends. I guess Jude was still hungry b/c he took it upon himself to help himself to Olivia's apple's, but he hadn't touched his milk!!

ML was engaged with Maggie who was not interested in eating but very thirsty. I nudged ML as to not draw too much attention to the situation at hand. ML sent her aide to deal with Jude, this seems to be an everyday occurrence (!!!).

Aide: Jude please don't take Olivia's snack
Jude: Mine
Olivia is drinking her milk, doesn't seem to care
Aide: I think that we might need to talk to mommy about this if it continues. Please don't take Olivia's snack, anymore
Jude: Mine

As I am watching this situation unfold, I say to ML, "Maybe he is just very hungry. There are extra apples. What is the centers policy on more snack?' "There is no policy, its by class" -Very enlightening...

ML walks over to jude

ML: Jude would you like some more apples of your own?
Jude: tes
ML: Okay [gives him 3 more]

Problem solved.

...

Finally-

since the playground is snow covered... screw you snow! & it was raining... Outside play was not permitted... ya think? They have this area called the "Village". This place blew my mind! It was incredible. It is exactly what it sounds like, it’s a miniature village and everything is labeled in big bold lettering.

There is: a beauty parlor, a home environment, a bookkeeping & law office, Doctor’s Office, A mechanic’s garage and a police and fire station. Numerous ride-in cars and a road to ride them on, a telephone booth, building blocks and risers to sit on that surround a tumbling area.

It was really a great place for the children to run and get their energy out, esp after snack time.

But... theres ALWAYS a but... it was chaos, pure chaos! The MT room and the T1 room where in there and right before I left the T2 room arrived! 20 TOODLERS ages 12-36mons & only 5 teachers (not including myself) in ONE area!!!

I could not believe my eyes. As the MT teacher who is a 21y/o undergrad said "Talk about BIRTH CONTROL". I chuckled and told her I have one at home, she looked at me wide-eyed and said "You must be joking" I just looked at her. She said that I was brave and walked to brake up a mini-wrestling match. Srsly!

I can't even begin to tell you ALL of the things I saw for the 30 mins I stayed in the Village- I wish I had a video camera- it would've gotten a bazillion hits on youtube.

But I can say this... I was glad to come home to MY TODDLER.

When I walked in the door she ran up to me and said "you home mama" and huged my legs. I melted in to a pool of love right there.

I LOVE children. I am glad I found my calling & I do miss childcare.

I am going to TEACH and MOLD young minds, but I am going to teach and mold America's 5 or 6 year olds! K or 1st grade for me!

...

Thank Goodness Tomorrow's Friday--

Come on back then to see what I have planned... Its full of FUN & WIN

Next week we will be back to our normal "Convo w.a Toddler"

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

"Convo w/a Toddler"

E is coming up on 24mons [2yrs] eek! She likes to imitate E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G she see us [mainly me] do. Whether it be unload the dishwasher, switch the clothes from one machine to the other. Vacuum, etc. You get it. I am mainly speaking of "homely" duties. She doesn't just imitate those, she dances when I dance, Laugh when I do etc...

But what I find the cutest is when she is little Susie home-maker. Monday AM when I was folding her laundry on the floor of the family room, I picked up half of her clothes to take them to her room- when I returned clothes were slung all about the fam. room:

Me: Little miss!!!
E: I do it mama. [Sitting in the middle of the mess of clothes]
Me: You made this mess? After mama folded ALL your clothes all pretty?
E: I pretty, mama. Socks! Socks! [Holding up socks]
Me: Would you like to help mama re-fold your clothes hon?
E: yes mama. I help do it. Peeeese.
Me: Here big girl but these shirts on top of that one there [showing here where to 'stack' the shirts]
E: Meme big gorl! Meme! [stands up and spins in a circle]
Me: E is a big girl. Smooch?
E: [bends down for a kiss]
Me: Want to carry these to your room w/mama?
E: Yes mama. [hands her a pair of jeans and socks]
Me: Thank you doodlee

...

Tuesday afternoon E's godfather Andy came over for & babysat for 2 hrs so I could run out and get a few things done. Knowing the impending Blizzard was on it way and things would be shutdown for days, I needed to get a few things. It was easier & quicker to do it sans toddler. I love how much E loves Andy "Chip". I told her while we were doing our Valentines day crafts [round 2] Uncle Chip was coming to play:

Me: Guess who is coming to play today?
E: CHIP! CHIP! CHIP!!!
Me: Yep thats right. It's bc you've been such a good girl & b/c uncle Chip misses you!!
E: Chip Play Me!!! Yayyyy!!!! [claping her hands bouncing in her booster seat- no longer crafting- haha]

**KnockKnock**

E: CHHHHHHIIIIIIPPPPPPPPPPP!!!! HERE!!!!! Mama!!!!!
Me: Use your inside voice, please
E: Peeese down
Me: Go get him baby girl
E: kank you mama?
Chip: Hey ladies
E: Chip walk
[once playing in E's room- I walked in there to give E kisses & say bye]
Me: I'm heading out, smooches?
E: K bye mama [barley looking up from playing I get a half smooch]
Chip: See ya soon
Me: Bye bye
E: go bye bye mama [waving behind her head]

Im glad she doesnt cry when I leave, but a little something would be nice, geez!

& Lastly:

Wednesday night, as I have mentioned before, I let E be independent, it's part of growing up. With her being soooo picky with her eating/food choices, I have been doing whatever I can to get her to EAT. So when she asked begged me to used a fork at dinner, when up to this point she has refused to use one, I was iffy.

E: mine uhhhuhh [holds up her fork]
Me: You want to use this tonight?
E: Yes mam. Peeese?
Me: Are you going to actually eat or are you going to just play?
E: Yes mama
Me: Yes you will eat? or Yes you will play?
E: Yes mama yummyy!!! Milk?
Me: Okay, fine you can use your fork for your chicken
E: yay!! [claps hands]
Me: Go ahead & ask dada to get you in your chair.

She ate ALL of her dinner & them some...WITH THE FORK... Correctly! Yay for Big Girls!!
...

Tomorrow's Friday- Yay!!

You know you want to check back in b.c ... I am going to tell you all why I love Valentines Day!!

Valentines Day Countdown: [3days]


Check back tomorrow... It won't be TOO mushy... Scouts honor... :)

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

"Intereality"

photo courtesy of google

I've been blogging [here] for nearly 2yrs (Feb 4, 08). So my baby is getting pretty old, as far as blogs goes. I had a LJ & FOD in HS when those were all the rage but I don't really consider those blogs. I more consider those, "drama starters" b/c thats basically what they were used for back then. To stir-up drama. Anyways I'm digressing, as always.

My blog has changed & transformed over the course of its life. Its changed as I have changed. It started out as a way for people [family & close friends] to keep up with the end of my pregnancy. It was getting scary. One minute they were going to take my baby 10wks early b/c of complications then the next they weren't. We were living U/S to U/S. It was a scary time & I couldn't continue to make the SAME repetitive phone calls to my HUGE family. I made the decision to blog it & they could read it or not.

Then it some how morphed into a pregnant bitchfest about how my parents hated my [soon-to-be-ex]Husband, I had already filled for divorce but it wouldn't be finalized till after E's birth b/c of childsupport issues. Yet I, in my pregnant state-of-mind I thought (even w.the looming divorce, that I FILED) things would be OK & that Mom/Tom should suck it up. HAHA I love them for not

That bring us to Urban Cowgril- & TODAYS Kandid Kelli . Even though the name changed (Thanks Erin for my face lift, Its fab!!) It didn't change my style or who I am. I blog about my life as a young [single] mom who is just living the day to day, w/a clone for a toddler. Thanks karma. I am very kandid (I know its candid for real but for the sake of my name... go with it, thx!) with you all and I have never held back.

When things were good, I raved! When things were bad, you [unfortunately for yall] got the gory deets. I don't think its right to portray something I am not. What good would I be doing? I know the truth. I know what really goes on in my life.

Sure I can make my life look glamourous & wonderful on a computer screen but when I step away It is what it is. I LOVE MY LIFE. TO ME IT IS GLAMOUROUS & WONDERFUL, but for some [most] its not.

I read sooo many blogs. My reader is JAMMMMM PACKED!!! I love each & every single blogger I read, too. I follow a lot of them on Twiter too. I just can't get enough of their wittiness.

But I have to remember, their blog is NOT their [real] life. They only share (besides youLILU & well maybe you too Tia) the good & the glam.

Who wants to write about the knock-down-drag-out fight they had w.their husband/ S.O? Or the humdrum of their everyday life? Why would they want to portray their life as anything but extraordinary?

Just b/c someone is a great writer does not mean YOU WANT THEIR LIFE. They are going to write about the exciting things that happen. The funny events, etc. Don't mistake the internet & what you read in blogs/forums to be 100% truth. Some people may be what you read is what you get, but most aren't. They want it to look like they live the "rockstar" life 24/7.

If you follow me on Twitter you saw me post this, this AM: "Happiness will never come to those who fail to appreciate what they already have." -Unknown. I truly believe that quote. I think a lot of people are just searching for happiness, be happy w.what you have 1st. Then you might be able to stop searching.

...

Have a Fantastic weekend & I hope to see you back here @ Kandid Kelli Monday AM for "Not Me Monday"

I Tweet , do you?

"Letter to Me"

A while ago [probably about a yr] I saw a few people do something similar to this & as I was laying in bed this yesterday AM; I woke up @ 750 - 10 minutes before E & was just thinking when I heard "Letter to Me" by Brad Paisley. I then thought how much easier college and the year following would have been if I would have had a letter to myself telling me what to expect. I start grad school in EXACTLY ONE WEEK & I find myself wishing I knew what to expect. Hindsight is 20/20- So here is a letter guiding me through my FIRST 4 years of college and the year leading me to present day & GRADUATE school. I am going to be brutally honest with myself. This is probably one of the most honest posts I will ever write. Bare with me.



...

Dear 18 Year Old KS,

You made the right decision by walking away from him. Keep walking and don't look back. He's not right for you. You think you want to spend forever with him, but you can't even trust him. He will be the reason you and your dad's family won't speak for over 4 months & you won't know about Alicia being pregnant. Focus on your freshman year, make friends. Don't focus on him. Don't come home every chance you get, temping as it may be. It's very self destructive. You will get pregnant, by him & then have a late term miscarriage. Stay up at college, have fun. spare the heartache.

Marines are hawt, YES. Fun to party with, YES. Good friends, yes. Great penpals, def. Good boyfriends- No way. They will break your heart. Each & everyone of them. I know it is going to seem like you're a magnet for them that they are around EVERY corner you turn- but you need to some how break the trend, stop turning the corners & your head. There is one Marine, in particular who is going to shred your heart & the worst part? You left him. Years later you won't even remember why, but you will still think about. It was bad.

The boys won't be your only heartbreaks. The girl(s) you meet will break your heart even worse. They are not solely to blame, you had your hand in the ending of friendship(s) and the mudslinging too, but somethings you couldn't control. Sex is not a game, although she (they) thought it was. You weren't clear on your feelings for him b/c you were scared you hadn't felt that way since J. Don't be scared. Don't let that happen. Be open & honest. Don't let her stand in your way. She will have a way of getting in your way. If you become happy & she isn't she will find a way to make you unhappy. If she doesn't like what guy you're with or she does like him she will do what it takes so you don't have him anymore. Beware. She isn't all bad but she also isn't all that good; For you. You can certainly find a better friend.

Don't fight over petty things with your friend of 18+ yrs. Go make up. Your in a fight right now. Go say your sorry and get ice cream. Have a girls day of shopping. Just make up. She will one day be your daughters GodMother & a damn good one. She is a great friend and you know. You will need her the most when you're in a fight, so don't fight with her. It really is simple. Hug her a lot & tell her she is your BFF. Don't take her for granted, ever. Before you know it you won't be with in driving distance anymore & you will miss her.

Concentrate on your studies. I know that this is cliche, but its is so true. You are smart & know what you are doing PR is right up your ally. You don't NEED to go out if you have a paper or test due or even if you have an early AM class the next day. Your social standing will not be ruined if you say "NO" once or twice. Thats what the weekend is for, Trust me. You will wish one day that your GPA is better & that you read that chapter for the popquiz.

Don't stress out too much pretty girl. You will have some hurdles but you will graduate in 4 years. There will be some [crazy] bumps in the road, don't let that detour you; You just need to look inside and find your determination. You will get there don't worry.

You have always wanted to be a wife and mother. You got the wife part for a very short time. Not even for 6 months & to the very, very wrong man. But b/c of him you got your daughter. She is your life.

After you have been out of college for about a year you will feel lost and unsure about your life & your daughter will help you find yourself. She will help you find your "calling" b/c its not what you get your bachelors in. You will make a huge decision and move, that turns out to be for the best. You decide to go to graduate school in PA. Moving in with your boyfriend and his family [temporarily] Your little family becomes your life.

Your classes will be at night so you can continue to be a SAHM during the day. You will love the sound of your toddler playing and laughing, toddling though the house. Silence will make you wonder what's going on. Wow Wow Wubbzy adding to the noise level as you unload & reload the dishwasher while your toddler eats her breakfast & milk in the AM, while your coffee brews is all but exciting but its the life you love. The life you wouldn't trade for anything

But, you will have days, when your toddler won't listen, you have a lot of HW, the potty training seems to be too much to do on your own, your boyfriend is still just that- your boyfriend, he isn't at home to deal with the mundane crap, like the never ending laundry dishes or toys always EVERYWHERE. You could just use a break, from well LIFE, b/c it just doesn't seem to be enough. You're going to want more, you look around and want more then what you have, but you're going to be living on one income & have student loans to cover your private school education.

There will be days that you're going to cry in the shower, b/c you're going wish that you nvr married "him" b/c you wanted to have the career that came with the degree, the freedom that came with being childless, you see what your friends have. You want the ability to go shopping for that swanky new outfit or those trendy new shoes when you want them instead of saving for diapers or clothes for your daughter b/c your child grows so damn fast it blows your mind. But then, she will say mama and you will snap out of it and realize you got everything you wanted: The boy Man of your dreams that even in a hurry never forgets to give you a kiss before he leaves for work in the AM & calls your everyday during his lunch even if its just for minute. The beautiful child who is perfect in every way. The home. The multiple degrees. You might not have gotten it in the traditional manner but you got it. Just wait & your boyfriend will be ore then just your boyfriend.

...

If I would have had this when I started my undergrad life would have been easier. I don't have a manual or letter for when I start grad school in a week [7days]. I am going in blind. My life is 100% different & my priorities are different. I am hoping that this time around I will have a better experience.

**If you could write a letter to yourself- how old would you be & what would you say?**

...

Only [5days] till the reveal of the new NAME & Design for the blog yall. Erin @ MyWayThisTime has been working really hard, or hardly working? To make this great. Hmm. JK. We shall see come Monday, Jan 25. I can't wait!
...

-Kelli-Sue

Tweet-tweet