"Post-It Note Tuesday"

Is it just me or is this week already dragging? Well here we are again... Post-It Note Tuesday's - Lamesauce? Work w.me here. E is in the homestretch w.swimlessons & I am trying to get ALOT more done then is possible in 24hrs.  

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Post-It Note Tuesday"

I am new to Post-It Note Tuesday's But I have seen this on a number of blogs that I read & it looks like a cute, fun thing to participate in. I am not sure if this will be an every week kind of thing or just when I am aggrivated... but until I know...

Enjoy!












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Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"Random"

-THANK YOU FOR THE LOVE yesterday. I really do have the best readers. I got beautiful comments, IMs & EMails. I love your faces soo much. I wish I could hug every single one of you.

-I hate when someone is presenting to the class and they say "UM" EVERY OTHER WORD... WE ARE IN GRADUATE SCHOOL. Get your shit together sweetie.

-Theres ALOT of new(er) music I want. Anyone want to donate to the "Kelli's iTunes Fund"?-- It started out as SONGS then I go and listen to the artists albums that the respective songs are on & its over... but I need to save my $ for my move (and hopefully the house- more on this next wk. PROMISE).

-My coffee this AM is really strong but in a good way.

-M is driving me nuts. Like in I want to rip is off kind of way.

-I have been adding alot of pictures to my Flickr b/c I am going to be DELETING my MySpace within the next week. I havn't been on in months & when I tried to get on yesterday it took forever. What a pain.

-E has serious listening problems. Im sure that goes along with being 2, but its B.A.D. I think she drives me soo nuts b/c we are so much a like. Shes just a not so muchsmaller [younger] version. I do feel like I am looking at myself a lot of the time. Ah Karma.

-Remember how giving E oral meds was bad? Well she has allergies & needs eye drops... OMG I have to lay her on the floor, then basically lay on top of her to hold her down. I weigh 97lbs more then her this should be easy, right? WRONG! IDK how she got so dang strong. I dread doing it, but I know her eyes feel better when we play outside & SHE GETS A TREAT when we're done b/c bribery is key I feel bad.

-I laugh at inappropriate times. I did it yesterday numerous times, I felt bad, kinda. I think I do it when I am anxious, I should really actually take my xanex (regularly) and talk to my GP about refills.

-When I get back to the SUNSHINE STATE I am going to need a new GP b/c my old GP is only taking medicare patients now. "Its better for his business" Nice. I have been seeing him since I was 20 I do believe. Gah.

-I have decided (with help from GodMommy Hayls & Nana) that E's FIRST movie theater movie will be on June 18th (the day after MY bday) for TS3 -- Pending she still likes the movie. I mean the "Nemo" Phase seemed to last FOREVER but I look back now and it wasn't so long, and was quickly passed up for TS2 (she is not interested in TS1).

-I am making Chicken Tortilla Soup for dinner tonight, for the FIRST time. I hope its good. M seems to really like my cooking, which is a plus.

-I need my child to be potty trained. WTH. She was all about the potty. Then she got sick. Now she won't go near the potty. I am not one to force something on my child & I know she is only 24mons old, but when she was using the potty before she was 2. We have digressed! Her ped said "its normal when a child gets sick to digress, she will go back to it in time" Well I want it to "be time" already. I am sick of ordering diapers off Diapers.com or seeing them on my grocery list (when I dont order in time). Just plain sick. I shouldn't complain, I really shouldn't. I just don't know what to do. This is so petty. Im done now. --EDIT: Tonight E told me for the 1st time since she was 19mon that she had to go potty & went on the potty. Thank you for all your prayers/suggestions we MIGHT be back on the potty-training band wagon, I will have to see how the next few days go. I left it alone, like her ped suggested & she came to me all on her own. END EDIT--

-I need to re-evaluate some things in my life, I feel outta sorts & when I am out of sorts so is E.

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Have a great weekend--Don't forget National Infertility Awareness Week starts tomorrow, April 24 and runs through May 1.

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"Paybacks-"

photo courtesy of Getty Images

I was always told when I was younger, one day Kelli when you have a child you are gunna get this back TWOFOLD...

I never believed it. But oh boy am I getting it back.

My sweet loving, cuddly baby girl has morphed into a back-talking, bad listener, no really, brick-wall listens better then her.

I ask her not to do something & she looks right at me as SHE DOES IT or vica versa.

She screams... A lot, for no reason.

She says "No mama" & runs away from me like its going out of style.

The floor gets more action from her food then her mouth. Its really ridiculous.

Time-out is her second home.

She gives a new meaning to temper tantrums.

I don't like yelling, really working on not doing it as much anymore, but by golly- shes not making it any easier!

I've heard of the "terrible-2s". I've even joked about the T2 in this here blogy. -- but guess who's NOT 2 yet!!!

But this is completely different from anything I have bloged about before. I don't know where my precious baby went...

I was talking to my mom about this the other day telling her about all of this and what do I hear on the other end of the line...?

LAUGHING!

Yes laughing. No lie. WTH.

She said "I don't mean to laugh, but this is what I told you about, you're getting it back. This is paybacks, my daughter"

I hope this is not a pre-preview of her teens. If it is I will be the sole reason Xanax (or by then there will be something way better and STRONGER) is in business...

B/C ladies lets be honest... Wine and back rubs from the man of the house only goes so far...

Just like anything we have GOOD days and when shes good shes GREAT! but then there's the BAD days... I fear the BAD days like I fear dooms day. Im serious. They are bad from the time she opens her little baby blues till the time mama & dada lay her down at 8:05/8:10. Its 11hrs of sheer torture. There are days that I try my darnedest to turn a bad day around and sometimes I am successful, but usually only for a few hrs, never all day.

I am patient, I am actully one of the most patience people I know. I am in graduate school for EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT (ages 4-3rd grade) & SPECIAL EDUCATION (children w.special needs) that takes PATIENCE!

But some days I feel like I am a horrible mother I just cry myself to sleep. M didn't know that I cry, b/c those nights I turn away from him, till this morning when I broke down to him. He rubbed my hair (that ALWAYS makes me feel better) & told me it was going to be okay & that we are in this together & that I am doing a great job w.her.

I know parenting is not an easy job, I didn't expect it to be, but some days ARE easier then others.

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Have you entered my giveaway to win funsies HERE ? Its ONLY open for ONE more day!! --You can get up to 4 entries... In my opinion I am giving away adorable SPRINGY things!

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

"Toddler Thursday"

So as most [all] you know I am in grad school. Well we are in a unit on EARLY literacy, in my Early Lit. class. Coincidence? Doubtful.

Well for this particular class, I had to go observe a toddler class at a child care center, to look at all the different modes for early literacy in a toddler class room.

I was reluctant, seeing as I have my very own toddler at home. Haha. But its for a grade & it was a chance to get out of the house for a few hours.

I chose to do my toddler observation at the learning center that is affiliated with my college.

Lets just say when I got there it was NOTHING like I was expecting.

**Sidebar... the following was not included in my observation critique that I turned in for a grade... this is all blog fodder for my lovely freders!! /end sidebar**

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I was in the T1 room, these kids were 12-23mons of age- Minus one boy. He was 15 mons and in the INFANT room?

I was perplexed. -- Why was this TODDLER still in the infant room (Infants in child care are 6wks- 11 mons)? He came to the T1 room for snack, b/c they couldn't have solids in the infant room, and b/c the infant teacher used to teach toddlers for 22yrs (shes was 6mons from retirement) and thought he needed to socialize with other kids his own age; seeing as for the time being he was the ONLY one in the infant room. The other 2 children are 10 & 11 mons & are both sick.

I took it upon myself to ask his teacher. I figured I could ask just about anything, I was here 'learning' and they knew that and would prolly ask just about anything because of that.

Me: Ms. B, is it too forward if I was too ask why Samuel is still in your room?
Ms. B: No honey, he is in my care still, b/c of his mothers request, as you can see I think it is silly-
Me: Mother's request?
Ms. B: yes, apparently when he moved up to this class from infant he got hit on day 1, so she requested to the director he move back down.

[while she is telling me this story- Sam is in the middle of beating the crap out of Olivia w.a rubber hammer (!!!)]

Me: Is that so?
Ms. B: Apparently [while rolling her eyes]
Me: Well HE is beating Olivia with a hammer right now [points to the said action]

He is being held back socially by being in the infant room. It is terribly sad.

According to the director, who I spoke with before I left, told me by law he can ONLY be in there until they get another infant, which will be in 2 weeks. They will be getting a 5 month old and at that time they will be moving him to the MT [mixed toddlers] room. That room varies in age from 16mons- 3 yrs.

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I was excited, after I got past my hesitation, to see how other toddlers act. It was nice to know that E is not the only one who has listening "issues".

Example #1:

Ethan hit Jade-- the teacher says to Ethan "Ethan we don't hit girls, please say you're sorry" (keep in mind these children are ALL under 2 yrs old, they barely talk, and if they do, it isn't well. Which surprised me b/c E talks very well & she isn't quiet 2 yet) Ethan mumbles something I am sure is supposed to be sorry and walks away... not longer then 3 minutes later he hit Lukas! In his defense, He did not hit a GIRL this time.

Miss Lisa should have said: "Ethan we don't hit our friends (thats what they call ALL of their classmates "friends"- as to not single anyone out) it's not very nice"

I am the only adult who saw him hit Lukas, so I walked over to the boys and I had a little quiet talk with them about hitting; Before I walked away I asked them if they understood me, they both said something that resembled yes. I was pleased. So were both of their teachers. They both praised me (so did Ms. B, who was still in the room with her "infant")

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Example #2:

Miss Lisa [ML]: Alrighty kiddys!! Lets line up by the gate (babygate) for snack!! [Not a single child moves]
Miss Lisa's Aide: [Physically putting children in line] Snack time!!

I asked ML if I could try something b/c I used to work w.toddlers in child care in 2007. She said of course.

I sang this little song about snack time. I felt 9 pairs of eyes immediately on me- good sign.

Then I asked "Who's belly's want snack?" (not every child will know what the word hungry means yet)

Everyone but Maggie raised their hands. I said "Okay lets get line so we can wash our hands... we don't want our germs to eat snack with us, do we?" They all shook their heads no.

Success~

The two teachers were in awe! They kept saying "Can we hire you, NOW?" It was a great feeling.

I didn't realize how much I missed working [in childcare till I was in that setting]. I know that I could never work doing anything else unless it was with children. I am so lucky I found my calling. I just want to speed this process up!!

They are short a few teachers, I would gladly work there, but there are two factors... 1) They wouldn't pay me enough to put E there (or anywhere else) full time 2) Or enough to make it worth my while. All my pay would go to pay for E's childcare. I would get a discount for being a student at the affiliated college -or- being an employee, not both.

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Example #3:

During Snack time Judas was sitting next to Olivia. They were having apple slices & milk. Yum. Well apparently Jude eats extremely fast, like nascar fast. Well even if the children finish they are still expected to sit at the table with the rest of their friends. I guess Jude was still hungry b/c he took it upon himself to help himself to Olivia's apple's, but he hadn't touched his milk!!

ML was engaged with Maggie who was not interested in eating but very thirsty. I nudged ML as to not draw too much attention to the situation at hand. ML sent her aide to deal with Jude, this seems to be an everyday occurrence (!!!).

Aide: Jude please don't take Olivia's snack
Jude: Mine
Olivia is drinking her milk, doesn't seem to care
Aide: I think that we might need to talk to mommy about this if it continues. Please don't take Olivia's snack, anymore
Jude: Mine

As I am watching this situation unfold, I say to ML, "Maybe he is just very hungry. There are extra apples. What is the centers policy on more snack?' "There is no policy, its by class" -Very enlightening...

ML walks over to jude

ML: Jude would you like some more apples of your own?
Jude: tes
ML: Okay [gives him 3 more]

Problem solved.

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Finally-

since the playground is snow covered... screw you snow! & it was raining... Outside play was not permitted... ya think? They have this area called the "Village". This place blew my mind! It was incredible. It is exactly what it sounds like, it’s a miniature village and everything is labeled in big bold lettering.

There is: a beauty parlor, a home environment, a bookkeeping & law office, Doctor’s Office, A mechanic’s garage and a police and fire station. Numerous ride-in cars and a road to ride them on, a telephone booth, building blocks and risers to sit on that surround a tumbling area.

It was really a great place for the children to run and get their energy out, esp after snack time.

But... theres ALWAYS a but... it was chaos, pure chaos! The MT room and the T1 room where in there and right before I left the T2 room arrived! 20 TOODLERS ages 12-36mons & only 5 teachers (not including myself) in ONE area!!!

I could not believe my eyes. As the MT teacher who is a 21y/o undergrad said "Talk about BIRTH CONTROL". I chuckled and told her I have one at home, she looked at me wide-eyed and said "You must be joking" I just looked at her. She said that I was brave and walked to brake up a mini-wrestling match. Srsly!

I can't even begin to tell you ALL of the things I saw for the 30 mins I stayed in the Village- I wish I had a video camera- it would've gotten a bazillion hits on youtube.

But I can say this... I was glad to come home to MY TODDLER.

When I walked in the door she ran up to me and said "you home mama" and huged my legs. I melted in to a pool of love right there.

I LOVE children. I am glad I found my calling & I do miss childcare.

I am going to TEACH and MOLD young minds, but I am going to teach and mold America's 5 or 6 year olds! K or 1st grade for me!

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Thank Goodness Tomorrow's Friday--

Come on back then to see what I have planned... Its full of FUN & WIN

Next week we will be back to our normal "Convo w.a Toddler"

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

"Convo w/a Toddler"

Sharing is a habit I want to instill in not just E but in all my [future] children, its a good habit & teaches good life skills. Normally she is pretty good at it, but she is still learning, being that is isn't quite 2 yet (yes that is my excuse for EVERYTHING, when she is doing something less then stellar). Anyhow These next 3 "convos" all 'highlight' the little issue we've been having with sharing lately.

As most all of you know I am an only child by birth. I have 2 step-sisters & 1 1/2 sister (for more info on the ppl that play a role in my life go here ). Well Jessica doesn't children she just got into OSUCOD & Des is too young @ 10 y/o!! So the only other child E has had to "compete" w.for attention from grandparents is MG, Alicia's 4 y/o daughter. My dad & Jane have custody of her, so MG see's them 24/7, so when E would come over she would 'stand-down' so there really wasn't a competition for attention. Well... this past weekend I went w.M's family (His mom/dad/sis/BIL& their 2 kids) to their beach house in DE to check it for damage from the two snow storms that had just passed (none- Thank goodness!). Needless to say competition/jealousy (even though E sees them 24/7 she doesn't understand to 'stand-down') was at an all time high between E & Jori.

-While bop was holding Jori-
E: NOOO!! My bop! [pulling on his legs, almost crying]
Me: [shocked by her jealousy] E you need to share Bop...
Bop: I have room for both of you girls... come here
E: Bop walk... walk bop!! pay meme pay
Jori: Lets play with our baby dolls
Me: Thats a good Idea honey. E go get your baby dolls
E: [grabs the 2 babies that we brought down with us] My 2 babies (2 is her favorite #)
Me: Would you like to share a baby with your cousin?
Jori: Its okay I have a baby, see
E: TWOOOO babies!!! Baba? (baba= pacifier)
Me: Your baba is in your purse over by boobo over by the fire place.
E: My car!
She forgot about her 'baba' when she saw booboo playing with the tractor
Me: E you can play with the backhoe, okay?
E: K mama pouting. Me want up. [starts to grunt- boo got picked up by grammy]
Me: Your a big girl you don't need to be held
E: Bop... up

She knows where/ who to go to, to get her way. She always had to be in the center of the action. Here's a shot of Bop & all 3 grandkids:



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Sunday M purposed. I accepted w.out a second thought, but being a single mom I did tell him that he needed to ask E if it was okay, if he married me. The only problem? She was at a hockey game with M's parents. So when she got home I took E from Grammy & said E dada has to ask you something:

M: Can I marry mama?
E: No! My mama!!! [hugs me tight]
Me: Oh honey I'll still be your mama
E: Oh
Me:Yah, I will ALWAYS be you mama. NOTHING will ever change that sweet girl.

a little later after her bath

M & Me: Would you like a new last name? [M will adopt her after we're married]
E: YESSSSS mamadadamama!!!!!
Me: Well then you have to let me marry dada
E: Ok
M: So I can marry your mama?
E: Yes dada

I am glad we have her blessing! What a silly girl. - We only had 478 days to convince her-

& Lastly:

Yesterday afternoon she was having her snack, goldfish. She LOVE LOVE LOVES goldfish. This kid could prolly live on them. I was putting the dishes away and the box was sitting on the counter and I grabbed a few (like 3) and kept on with the dishes. Then decided "man I want some of these" After I was done with the dishes I got some goldfish:

E: NOOOO mine uhhhuhh!!! [if outsiders heard this they prolly thought I was killing her]
Me: You have some & so does mama. It's okay to share your crackers E. There are plenty
E: No mama... Memmy's!!!
Me: E you know how to share. When you're done with those [pointed to her tray] you may have some more
E: Yes mama [shoved all of them in her mouth] More peeese
Me: I think you are done. You need to just drink your juice and get down and play
E: Meme's Cup

The same thing happened after dinner when M had some [regular] crackers & PB. We had a serious talk, It seems to be better today. I can only hope. This is not a phase I am enjoying.

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Thank Goodness Tomorrow's Friday--

Come on back then to see what I have planned...

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

"A little Privacy, Please?"

For anyone who knows me, knows I am anything but modest.

Pre-mama days I would go to the bathroom and not close the door [all the way]. I really didn't care. THINGS CHANGE.

I was raised w.my 5 cousins. My Gran wanted/NEEDED to know where ALL of us were, ALL of the time, can NOT loose a kid.

So keeping the door open a lil was the easiest way to hear if you were called, you could shout back.

FF to present day.

As you all know I moved in with my b/f (to go to grad school). To save some money we are currently living with his parents [just for a few months]. So leaving the door open flew right out the window, except during the day when it's just me and doodle.

During the day I leave the door open so I can hear/see what E is doing, unless she decides that she wants to watch me go. I don't get stage fright or anything, its just uncomfortable to have my 21mon old daughter to stare at me while I am doing my business.

Well around 4:30/5:00 when Rick comes home the door begins to close. I am not about to pee in front of my FIL. Aint happenin. Well E has a different idea.

NO MATTER WHAT SHE IS DOING. NO MATTER WHERE SHE IS IN THE HOUSE, SHE WILL COME RUNNING WHEN SHE HEARS THE BATHROOM DOOR SHUT & SHE BANGS ON IT SCREAMING "Mama!! Open. MAMA!! MeMe in MaaaaaMaaaaa"

When you're a mother, you loose all "you" time.

I find solace during nap time(s). In which I take my shower, catch-up on my e-mails, blogs, the interwebs & the like. needless to say naptime flies by. I try to schedule a blog for the following day but there's usually not enough time.

I know the lack of privacy and me time will get worse before it will get better & I am totally okay with that. I am beyond bless to get to see my princess grow-up the way I have. I would not trade any of it for the world.

We are entering all new territory. The "whys" and the "Terrible 2's" Provides me with plenty of blog fodder (thats the right word? right?).

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OKAY FREADERS, I have BIG, AND I MEAN MONUMENTAL NEWS:

Coming SOON- Erin @ MyWayThisTime is designing it for me, there will be a NEW NAME and LOOK here @ The Urban Cowgirl. So keep your eyeballs peeled its gunna be fab.

-Kelli-Sue

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"Convo w/a Toddler"

As E is nearing 2yrs old she is becoming more defiant. Pushing the envelope more and more. I find myself face to face with a fussy, bratty little toddler & a lot of 1 minute timeouts (what?! shes not even 2 yet).

I also find myself trying to decipher what she is trying to say, just to keep her little majesty happy. I am not only a mommy, but I am now a toddler translator. I am actually quite good, yes I am going to toot my own horn. But... If you're in the market for one, I charge by the tantrum. Trust me that can get quite pricy, so keep that in mind. Moving on.

For Instance:
Going to see Santa. We park the car I get out, open the door:

Me: E, you took off your shoes & socks?
E: yes mama. Bow!! [holds up her red hair bow, too]
Me: Annnddd your bow too. Okay give it to mama, I will put it back in for you.
E: No!! Nana.
Me: You want Nana to do it.
E: No. (very whiney) [Holding to bow to her hair, Almost trying to do it alone]
E: Meee!! Meee do it!!
Me: You want to do it?
E: Yes. [struggling. grunting]
Me: Would you like help? [I anticipate a tantrum very soon]
E: [making a frustrated face] NOOOOOO meee do it, no baby!
Nana: Your such a sweet baby, would you like Nanas help.
E: NOT BABY!
Me: Here hold mamas keys and give mama your bow Santa is calling your name... [my mom made a faint call for E to distract her... she was getting very mad]
E: Ok.

Once inside, my mom is holding her.

Me: Look! Honey its Santa.
E: CakaCaka [thats how she says santa]
Me: You want to go see him now?
E: [clinging to my mom] No...no.
Me: Come on baby, go see Santa.
E: Terrified. No way. [whiney now]
Me: Come see mama. [she comes to me]

We walk up to Santa. She freaks. After numerous tries we leave.

My mom is holding E.

E: ByeBye CakaCaka!!! [Waves!]
Me: You want to go back to see him?
E: No!!!! down...ooowwn [down] balk [walk] mama peese [please].
Me: Mom, E wants to walk, let her down.
Nana: How did you get that she wants dow from that? [Puts E down]
Me: Hold my hand or Nanas hand please. Thank you.

Then we left. On to Target. Oh we should have just gone home. ::shakes head::

This is where the tantrums come in.

Try to put E in the cart. Kicking & screaming happening in the parking lot. My mom gives in and lets her sit in the back. -Strike one. "Mom we need to talk to her versus just giving in"

Once inside E stands up after being asked to sit down more then once, try to move her to the "baby seat", doesnt happen. Mom gives in & holds her. -Strike two. "Mom tell her NO. firmly, then put her in the seat, don't give in"

E wants to walk in BUSY CHRISTMAS TARGET. No way. I get her in "baby seat" Bribe her with ice, horrible but works & its not candy or sweets of anykind.

I walk away for a second to go get something and I hear a blood curdling scream and I think to myself "I hope thats not mine" IT WAS MINE. My mom took her by the TOYS!! Then tried to walk away. Yah, shes almost TWO. she knows what they are. Smooth move. -Strike three. I finished quickly & we left, quickly.

As she was kicking me in the parking lot, b/c Mama is now the bad guy, b/c Nana bought her a bouncy ball. I am not opposed to a spanking, just not in public & not 20 mins after it happened, when we got home. She got put down for a nap. I think that is punishment enough for someone under 2.


I love E so much. This doesn't change how much love I have for her, this is part of being a parent. It is wonderful. Everyday is and this is just a preview of what I can expect in the next couple of yrs and proof that she isn't always the prefect angel I portray her to be. No child is. Although she is PERFECT FOR ME!!

Thx for sticking with me [us]... the journey REALLY has just begun.
-Kelli-Sue

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