"5 things"

I was tagged by Hayley to blog about 5 things I love. 

So without further ado:

1.

I love this coffee. I go through like 3 things of it every 2 weeks. It is delicious.

I buy it already ground though.

2.

I got this tumbler, except its coffee brown/ bronze, from my mom for Christmas. 

She has a green one and I loved hers to the point of trying to steal it, so she got me my own.

Keeps my coffee HOT from 8-12, I don't drink coffee after noon.

3.

I got this Shampoo/ Conditioner/ Leave-in from the salon yesterday. Not only does it smell terrific, if you know me you know I am obsessed w.hair products and they HAVE to smell good, but it makes my hair like silk.

4.

I drink  this tea, hot only. 

I usually have 1-2 cups almost every night. It is decaf so it doesnt keep me up and the warmth relaxes my body.

I used to drink it cold mixed w.lemonade from SB, but now I only drink it hot, ask me in June when its 100* if I drink it cold. hah. 

5.

I have four pairs of flats from Target. I have the pewter ones (pictures second in from the bottom, next to the zebra ones), I have the black w.ruffles as well as purple w.ruffles (seen here) and a dark denim/navy pair.

I love them b/c they look great with jeans, shorts, skirts and dresses. 

In love.

I tag anyone who wants to participate.

:)

Happy Monday all.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"We are a Family Too"

The other day I was shopping, alone (!), E was in school and until Feb 28, I only work job1 M-W, read about that here.

Anyways I was trying on some work attire, I am running low on my choices for job1 and shadowing (& b/c I had a GC). While I was in the dressing room I over heard a few ladies talking, I never saw them but if I had to guess their ages, I would say mid-late 30s.

It was kind of hard NOT to hear them, I was the only other person in the dressing rooms and it sounded as if they were shouting. They probably weren't and it was just echoing, but srsly.

They were discussing running their mouths about how to be a real "legit" (their word not mine) family it can't just be you and your husband or a single parent and their kid(s).

My initial thought was WTF?! Then, I thought how that is one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard. Then I felt sorry for them, as they have a fucked up view of what a family is.

I wanted so badly to say something, to correct them. Tell them how wrong they were. That I am a single parent; THAT MY DAUGHTER & I ARE A FAMILY! We DONT have to have a man to make us a family.

But I couldn't open my mouth, I felt paralyzed; I couldn't speak or move.

A family can be 2 people or 30. Since when is a man, woman and children the only kind of "family"? What if a couple decides to live childless? What if a woman decides to be a choice mom? What if a mother abandons her family and the dad is left raising his children alone? or visa versa?

I was raised by my single mom fulltime and my single dad part time with help from my grandmother. I had TWO families. My mom & I and my dad, Gran and I.

But by the standards of thses two women, and majority of America, I did not have a family. My daughter and I are not a family.  I tried to find a picture to accompany this post, but when I typed "Family" all I got was pictures of a mom, dad and 2 kids. My heart broke for Google and its close-mindedness.

I typed "Single Parent Family" and I still got pictures of a mom, dad and children with a black "broken" "jagged" line down the middle to symbolize the divorce. NOT all single parents are divorced, some are choice parents. Some were never married to begin with.

I am still reeling from overhearing that convo and the lack of images via google.

Hearing those women, hurt me to the core; I am a single mother, and I feel that my daughter and I are a complete FAMILY, a family of 2.

I would love to ADD a loving man to our family one day, but I am not going to take the first thing that comes my way b/c we don't need a man to make us a family.

**Tell me, what are your thoughts? Feel free to disagree with me, this is an open forum, no judgements here

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Just Another Tradition"

When I was a kid I was always taken to the church's pumpkin patch. I ALWAYS spent it with my dads family, as my mom is not a fan of Halloween. We ALWAYS ventured to the PP about a week before halloween to pick out our pumpkins for carving (drawing or painting when we were littler) and on Halloween we went to the 'Fall Festival' at church in the early evening and then Trick or Treating once dusk hit. Halloween is a 'holiday' I remember with very fond memories.

My family is BIG on tradition and so am I. So, naturally, when I found out I was pregnant I spent many days just day dreaming about the traditions my family had in place and how I would carry out; I wondered if I would alter them in any way and I thought about possible new traditions I would want to introduce.

E was born in April of 2008, we just missed Easter that year (by 1 week!) and she was 3 months & slept through most of the 4th of July. So when October hit I was giddy with excitement; her 1st Halloween! She was 6 months old. By then she was Sitting on her own and crawling around like a maniac. She wasn't sleeping all the time anymore and she could kind of understand what was going on.

I was on my own for roughly 10 days as my parents were out of town for a conference for my stepdads work, but I wasn't going to let that stop me from carrying on a tradition with my daughter. I was after all a single mom, I did want to include nana & papa but that was not an option. So off to the Pumpkin Patch we went...

E amongst the Pumpkins... Oct 2008... 6 Months Old

E at home posing with the chosen two... Oct 2008... 6 Mons Old

(if you are wondering the little one got colored and the large one was carved)

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A tradition is not a tradition if it is not up held year after year, so last year we ventured out, a little closer to Halloween than I would have liked because in FL it stayed close to 100* the entire mon of October (it was bad! Pumpkins were rotting!) we didn't want ours to melt... 

Even in the horrible HEAT we ventured out, to a different patch than in 2008, I was not as pleased. But We got some cute shots and a few pumpkins! Gotta support the YOUTH GROUPS at the churchs people!!!

OCT 2009... 18 Mons Old

E sitting pretty w.our large family carved pumpkin & her freshly colored on (with marker... look closely) baby pumpkin. The only paint I had at the time was water colors & puffy paint, neither of which would do, she was fine coloring it.

OCT 2009... 18 Mons Old

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To keep tradition what it is and get in the fall sprit, we ventured back to the patch of 2008, as I was very pleased with that one. As it turns out E's best friend Mallory & her mommy go to that one as well! So we joined Mal, Ashley (her mom) & Hayley, Saturday for a morning of chasing toddlers around pumpkins and trying to snap cute pictures. 

My adorable daughter, posing like a pro! You would never know it but that is her THIRD outfit... yes we did wardrobe changes! This is one of my favs so fall-y & festive-y.

OCT 2010... 2 years old

My diva, back in her original outfit, posing with the chosen 3 (thanks to Hayls, E got the tiny one too). This is a must picture! We have taken one like this since 2008. I love it. (Later on saturday E painted her pumpkin & Sunday the large one was carved, the baby one is on display in our home).

OCT 2010... 2 years old

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On Halloween E will adorn her costume, made by yours truly and we will go down to the church for the 'fall festival' and then once it gets dark I will take her trick or treating (either in our neighborhood or in my grans with her cousins like I used to do), Just like year. Although this will be her first 'fall festival', last year due to construction, FF was canceled. We are more than happy to welcome it back.

I can't wait till Thanksgiving (31days)!

and...

Christmas! (61days)!

Those traditions are just as fun!

**What are some of your family traditions? Did you carry them on with your children or do you plan too?

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 23"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 23: Something you crave for a lot 

Oh wow. I crave adult interaction. I crave cuddles with a good man. I crave Froyo. 

I crave pure happiness. 

Lame? Probably.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 22"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 22: What makes you different from everyone else 

Honestly, IDK. 

I have friends who are single moms, who are sahm, who work & go to school.

I am different but I don't know why... 

YOU TELL ME.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli 

"30 Days of Me- Day 21"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 21: A picture of something that makes you happy 

I love watching E play. This girl loves being outside. We spend a good portion of our day outdoors. I think thats why she sleeps so well (2-3 hr nap) and 12-13 hrs at night. She is fearless & it terrifies me but I gotta let her spread her wings!

Taking a short break after falling down and skinning her knee. We don't have any outdoor furniture, yet. Gotta get stuff in phases. So the cooler worked as her chair. 

She makes me so immensely happy. Words don't even do it justice. I can be having a bad day or be down (I have been lately) & she smiles & says "I love you mama" or "You the best mama ever" or a simple hug from her and my day is made. I honestly don't know what I would do without her. 

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 20"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 20: Someone you see yourself marrying or being with in the future

I don't have a certain person in mind. But I know the qualities I am looking for. 

I am 24 with 1 divorce under my belt. Its embarrassing. So when/if I get married again, It is a dream of mine, I want it to be right no question about it. I will not go through another divorce & E will be older and I don't want her to expierence that, she was a newborn when I got divorced the first time.

Seeing as I have been through the "ringer" if you will I know what I do and do not want. I don't need to make a list on here as long as I know in my head & heart what qualities I am looking for. 

The most important to me is I want a Family Man.

Heres a snap shot:

Craig Campbell "Family Man"

I've been working as a temp

At the local factory

I hope they hire me on full time

I've got shoes to buy

and a mouth to feed.

I drive a buy here, pay here truck

It ain't new, but it is for me

It ain't much but it fires right up

and get me from A to B

What puts the dirt underneath my nails

What keeps the calluses on my hands

Family man

They're a world my world revolves around

My sacred piece of solid ground

The flesh and bone that gives me strength to stand

They are a fire in my driving on

The drive behind my coming home

The living, breathing, reason that I am

A family man

There's dirty shirts to wash

Dishes in the sink to do

And there's how many times

Does 17 go into 52

There's bedtime prayers to pray

Sleep tights and I love you's

And then there's a pair of eyes

I get to lose myself into

What keeps me keeping the faith

What makes me believe I can

Family man

They're a world my world revolves around

My sacred piece of solid ground

The flesh and bone that gives me strength to stand

They are a fire in my driving on

The drive behind my coming home

The living, breathing, reason that I am

A family man

There's a fire in my driving on

The drive behind my coming home

The living, breathing, reason that I am

A family man

A family man

I know its just a song but he does a good job capturing what I feel is a real man. I could just be the "place" I am at right now in my life but I love this song and the meaning behind it.

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 19"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 19: Nicknames you have and why you have them 

• Kelli-Sue: I got this in college b/c its a cute southern name & I am cute and southern. Kelli is my first name... sue just fits nicely.
• KS: Shorten version of above.
• KelBel: Only a FEW ppl call me this. It started in MIDDLE SCHOOL I do believe.
• Kel- Shortened version of my name.
• Mama, Ma, Mommy, Mom: E alternates between all these.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 18"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 18: Plans/dreams/goals you have 

• Well I don't have any plans, plans usually fall apart and then you end up feeling defeated. So I don't plan things anymore. Esp. my life. God has a plan for me & his plan is so much better than ANYTHING I could ever come up with.
•  I have a goal to FINISH my Masters Degree with no more interruptions [I had a small break this summer].

I dream of finding that perfect (in my eyes) man and falling in love and getting married [again]. When that happens, who knows when this will be, I plan on making him feel like the luckiest man alive. He will not only get 110% of me but he will be treated as if there are no other men alive. 

I know I will find "him". Maybe thats why I keep blogging about it to remind me to keep on keeping on. Sry If I get repetitive.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 17"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 17: Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why 

This may sound silly, but I would want to switch lives with someone who is HAPPILY married with a handful of children. I believe I was born to be a wife & mother. I've got the mother part but I am lacking the husband part. I would love to have a [full] family to cook for every night & I already love watching E playing but I would love to watch a whole handful of children, running & playing. Just being kids. I would love to have a family and a husband to take care of; while having the loving caring support of my husband, where as I am caring for E alone with no support. I would also love to have that husband to talk to after the kids go to bed. Just to relax with, maybe have a glass of wine while talking about our days. Someone to cuddle with in bed. Like I said this "person", I don't have anyone person in mind, there are plenty of happily married women out there, needs to have the type of marriage I am striving for & will one day find. 

I know I will find my "Family Man" one day when I least expect it.

So I digressed on that one but I am sure you all get the picture!

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Alot of Thought"

After a lot of thought. I decided to go public again.

Personally, I am not in a good place. I am feeling depressed, I have been missing church & crying a lot. I am lonely.

I don't want sympathy.

But this blog used to be my place to "fall" & now its not. I hate that I had to be censored. I am not naive. I know there are people out there that read this, that I sure as hell DON'T want reading it. But frankly there is NOTHING I can do about it.

I can name 3 or 4 that read it and I wish they wouldn't. But thats the chance I took when I started blogging over 2 years ago.

I need to use my blog to push through this "blue" time in my life. The last time I felt like this was right after I had E & I had PPD.

I not used to living alone yet. I don't like how quite it gets come 8:05 & E is in bed. From then till about 11:45-12 when I go to bed its so quiet. I need to get in some kind routine.

Thanks for listening [reading] this was kind of a stream-of-consciousness post.


So here goes NOTHING. I AM PUBLIC AGAIN.


*No judgement!

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 15 & 16"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 15: Put your ipod on shuffle: first 10 songs that play 

1. Tell Me I Was Dreaming- Travis Tritt
2. Shake Some Action- Cracker
3. Goodbye Earl- Dixie Chicks (yuck!)
4. Clear Blue Sky- King George
5. Falling Into You- Whiskey  Falls
6. Mirror, Mirror- Def Leopard
7. The Truth- Jason Aldean
8. Just Be Your Tear- Tim McGraw
9. Blacktop Road- The Lost Trailers
10. That's Cool- Blue County

*When I said I had [mostly] only Country on my iPod, I wasn't kidding. I like a little bit of everything but, barely. I am a country girl, stuck in the city. I was raised by country folk, Not my mom, yah right! No my gran is from SC & did a lot of raising me! Yeehaw baby.

-and-

Day 16: Another picture of yourself 

Last month I took a weekend trip (before I moved) to see Hayls, for her birthday. We had fun. We also took E to "Pump It UP!" a place that has a bunch of jump houses, similar to Monkey Joes. Anyways we went during toddler time or whatever and there were hulahoops and toys everywhere, along with thoe jump houses & slides. This is me (Kandid of course) getting my hulahoop on! [photo Credit]

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 13 & 14"

30 Days Of Me!

day 13- a letter to someone who has hurt you recently 

The main reason I didn't do this yesterday is b/c I was having a hard time figuring out who to write to. No one has hurt me recently. I have had people hurt me in the past & I thought of writing to them and I started a few drafts. None of them sounded right, b.c frankly I have not only gotten over that hurt but I have moved past it. I think the experiences I had in college, where the "big hurt" occurred, help make me a better more understanding person. I also realize not to trust just anyone, to quickly. So I guess it hardened me a little to (so sad). 

Anyways, M & I are having a lot of problems & we have both hurt each other so it didn't seem fitting to write him a letter. I frankly don't know what is going to happen with us. We have alot of personal/ relationship work to do. 

So I guess I don't have a letter. Sorry I know its lame, but its honest & that's what blogging is about to me. Honesty, to oneself & my readers (as few as they maybe while I am private).

-and-

day 14- a picture of you and your family 

This was taken Thanksgiving 2007. This is my stepdads family. Every other year we go to VA for the holiday. I was pregnant with Emmy & it was the last time I went, b.c in 09 I didnt want to take my just over a year old kiddo to VA to be in a house w.5 other families & no quiet place to sleep. I hope to go next year though!

my dads side of the family- Taken in July of 2008, when my cousin came home on leave. As you can see theres a blurry spot... thats my exhusband. I blurred him b/c obviously hes not part of the family anymore. This is the ONLY pic we have of the WHOLE family.

This one is controversial, b/c like I said above: M & I are having problems & are on a "break" right now. 

But he made up a big part of my family for over 2 yrs. This blog is nothing but honest; I don't know what is going to happen with us, but I do love him & how much he loves my daughter. This was the last picture we had taken together, it was in June 2010.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 12"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 12: How you found out about blogger and why you have one 

I found out about blogger from my friend Erin. She used to tell me "how cool" it was. I would read hers & Tia's- Clever Girl Goes Blog (the first blog I read of a person I didn't know & b/c I was on bedrest I read all the way to her first post). I started my blog, As a way to keep everyone, friends & family updated on my little E (I was pregnant & had just moved back home b/c my "marriage had gone south). There were some issues and it got old making the same phone call 8-10 time. So I started the blog.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 11"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 11: Another picture of you and your friends 

This is the LAST pic I have of the 3 of us. Dan is living the life in HAWAII!!!

Dan, Me at about 35wks & Hayls

Ash, Mal, Me & Emmy; before Toy Story 3 (taken by Hayls)

The last pic I have of the 3 of us... 2008! DANG. Next time im in town we need to FIX this.

 Hayls, Me & Erin

At lunch for Hayls Birthday last yr. with some guys from JCJD.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 10"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 10: Songs you listen to when you are happy, sad, bored, hyped, mad 

I listen to country. Always. 

I used to listen to rock when I was mad but I stick to country now.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 9"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 9: Something you're proud of in the past few days 

• This house & FINALLY after 2yrs being on my own again. (I can't believe I remember how to run a household. The last time I ran one, I was married (gag) & pregnant. What a change.
• I am also working PT/3days a week (hopefully I will get another PT job soon) & getting my Masters. 

I guess you could say I am starting to get a grasp on this whole single mom thing, as M hasn't been around since June.

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"30 Days of Me- Day 8"

30 Days Of Me!

Day 8: Short term goals for this month and why

(in no particular order)

• [Start] decorating the house. I can't finish unpacking until E's bookshelf gets here (next friday) & until mine arrives in about 4ish (give or take) weeks. If you don't get that... All I have left to un pack is books. BOXES & BOXES OF BOOKS! Both mine & E's. So I want to decorate the house and start making it 'home'. I want it to be classy yet homey. I also want it to reflect E & I.
• Manage my time better. I find myself up till midnight or after, usually doing school work. I am trying to get used to working (might be picking up another PT job so I will be working 2 jobs, God willing in about a Mon), running a home [alone] & being in grad school.  I am doing it without complaints but, I need to better manage my time so I am not up so late, as E is still adjusting to the move and is having a hard time sleeping. I am always tired but yet I am not going to bed any earlier. 
• Work on being more patient with E. She is a [normal] 2 year old & really she is good. She is good more then she is not. I have just had such a short fuse lately, I need to take a step back and lengthen my fuse. I am lucky I was blessed with such a loving, sweet, good (most of the time) child.
• Get more into the word. Now that i dug my Bible out of one of my "book boxes" [see above] I want to try and read it a few times a week, I can't say daily b/c if I don't I will feel bad. If I start small with a few times a week, I know I can succeed. I have been a christian my whole life but I am at a point in my life where I want to strengthen my walk with the Lord & it takes more on my part then just going to church & praying. I need to be in the word. Maybe I will look into some personal Bible Studies?

Thats all I have for now. I can't give much more than that. I do have a very demanding child & I know that just a few goals for this month is more attainable then a bunch. I feel like I can attain [or atleast get a good start on] all of the above.

**What are some of your short term goals?

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Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli