"It's No Secret"

It's No Secret... That I NEED my coffee in the AM.

It's No Secret... That every 6weeks w/o fail (before I moved) you could find me at the salon gossiping w.Mandi w.foils in my hair.

It's No Secret... That every 3.5 weeks I have my kindle or most recent book, my favy OPI nail polish & I politely tell the little Korean guy how I would like my nails filled & I go about reading my book . I am a mother of a toddler I get very little quiet time. I don't feel bad that I don't try to talk to him.

It's No Secret... That I have a HUGE sweet tooth.

It's No Secret...That I am addicted to tanning, in a tanning bed . Sad, I know.

It's No Secret...That I should drink more water & less [diet] soda.

It's No Secret...That I should exercise more.

It's No Secret...That I hate being cold, but always am.

It's No Secret...That I procrastinate like nobody's business.

It's No Secret...That I love doing house work, minus laundry. IDK why, I just hate it.

It's No Secret...I never find anything good when I go thrifting, ever. So I rarely go anymore.

It's No Secret...That I trust too easily. Once you loose that trust, you're SOL, I will never trust you again.

It's No Secret...I am [and always will be] a single mom, even after I am married.

It's No Secret...That I want to be a surrogate.

It's No Secret...I have been thinking about egg donation, still unsure.

It's No Secret...That i've made my fair share of mistakes in life but they've made me who I am today.

It's No Secret...That I am pretty much an open book, about most things.

Until recently I didn't feel the need to hide (or keep anything a secret). For the most part I knew who read my blog.

If you know me IRL you know that I don't feel the need to put on a front. So obvi I dont in here in my small, humble corner of the interwebz? I have even talked about how much I hate how ppl try to come off as 'rockstars' .

I put it all out there b/c I have the best gosh darn reader a gal could ask for! Yall are supportive when I need a shoulder to lean on but yall also give me a good smack too, like any good readers friends would.

When I had anom. commenters I put a stop to them but addressing them publicly in a blog . I also had drama on my Formspring ...I addressed them via Twitter & they stopped.

They have started again. I don't want to have to start censoring my writing. Nor do I feel I should have to answer to bullies who are being cowardly by hiding behind anom. comments.

I am who I am. I am open for the world (ek! Thats kind of a scary thought) to see read about. If you feel the need to be mean, rude or nasty, be so with your name and a link to how I can respond to you via E-Mail or Blog or Don't do so at all and LEAVE MY BLOG.

NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO READ.

I am a 23 yr old single stay-at-home-mom in graduate school full-time. I am about to make my 3rd move since starting this blog. I am also going to start planing a wedding, mine. My life is not all that exciting, I am sure you can live with out my life's happenings and opinions b/c thats ALL this blog is; MY LIFE & OPINIONS.

I LOVE EACH & EVERY PERSON WHO DECIDES TO READ & COMMENT [maturely] DAY IN AND DAY OUT.

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I have slowly but surely been putting together my lesson for next week, I am so excited about it! Its about pilgrims. I actually can't wait to teach it. I will be using my inlaws tomorrow night as my "testers".

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"House Arrest"

Two year olds have a ton of energy. I am not quite sure where it all comes from really.

Being from FL originally, after lunch I would open the back door and say "go play". Thats all it took eyes wide with excitement, E would wear herself out. A little climbing on the swing set, maybe a little swinging, definitely some sliding. It was a combination of the heat, humidity and activity that purely wore her out.

Then it was inside for some coloring in her highchair or playing with her ponies while watching a video then NAP-TIME. Nothing is better then the all glorious nap-time. We had it all down to a science, really.

That was until, we moved. We moved to the arctic, better known as PA, a few days after Christmas. We moved because I was starting graduate school in January, as you all know. We wanted to get settled in, get back into our routine, you know how it goes.

Well I forgot about snow that comes up to their waist, blizzards or just plain ole dreadfully COLD weather. E can't go out and play in that! Yes you can get out the snowsuit or layer the kids up but after ten minutes they are miserably cold and are ready to come in. So it's not even worth the hassle.

My child is wired, I see it in her eyes, cabin fever, and I feel as if I am on house arrest. The freezing temperatures and layers of snow are my ankle bracelet trapping me.

We play soccer inside but the fear of something breaking cuts the game short. E is small so she can run, but running indoors is so different from running outside, the fresh air seems to just pull all that excess energy out of children. It stays bottled up inside of them no matter how much they [children] play indoors.

Spring I call to you like a long lost pair of skinny jeans. The sooner you come and bring warmth, melt all this wretched snow the sooner I regain my sanity and the sooner my toddler regains her calm afternoons of coloring and tiredly asks for an early bedtime.

Oh how I feel I have served my sentence, I am ready to be released from house arrest!

...

I just love HOLIDAYS... no matter how BIG or little. I want E to love them too.

SOOO: Valentines Day Countdown: [4days]

Its not just about couples. Its about Love in general. I love my family & friends & I want my daughter to feel that kind of love... ALWAYS!!

Check back tomorrow... You don't want to miss Thursday's "Convo w/a Toddler" -- It seems to have "taken off" & a few ppl are doing it on their blogs & I love it [LINK BACK TO ME] . I am working on a "button" for "CWT" hopefully I will have it ready by tomorrow for yall to use on your blogs when you do your own "CWT"...

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

"Convo w/a Toddler"

Toddlers are like sponges. They just soak up everything they see and hear.



Tuesday night M was putting E's little bookcase, for her DVD's & books together. It is very small, we are staying with M's parents for the time being, we've started looking for a place since M's new job rocks our world! I digress... her bookcase is small since E's room is what used to be her aunt Michelle's/the guest room. So In her room is a full sized bed and a dresser, all E's toys, all the toys that were already here for her cousins, Jori & Will- That includes the FULL kitchen set. Not to mention E's crib.

And while M was putting it together E wanted to help, naturally. So M told E to go get her Handy Manny tools, & with a quickness she did. She helped her daddy. Now all at once... AWWW.





Well this Morning I was drinking my coffee catching up on Y!News. Laughing @ some of the wacky headlines , when out of no where E said:

E: I fix it mama!! [grabs her toolbox & takes off for her room]
Me: [Calling from the family room to her room] You fix what hon?
E: My tools. I fix.
Me: [hearing banging & pounding- I get off my lazy butt & I peak in her room, she was fixing to bookcase like the night before with M] Oh you fix your bookcase?
E: yes mama. I fix it. [pointing to it] My dada. My dada.
Me: Yes you put that together with your dada, last night.
E: Meme big!
Me: E is a big girl.
E: [held her arms up like a big girl]
Me: I love you.
E: Yes mama. hug. hug.

...

Wednesday AM is when my WeightWatchers [WW] meeting is. I am not sure why I choose that day, but Wednesday was chosen back almost 2yrs ago when I decided I NEEDED to loose 65lbs. Going to WW is nothing out of the ordinary for E, as she has been going with me since she was 2wks old. It had snowed over night so when I woke up Wed. there was snow on the ground (about 1.5in) but I was in a hurry so I didnt mention it to E like I normally do. I just got her up & dressed so we [I] wouldn't be late. Once in the car on our way to the center:

E: Mama lookkkkk KNOW! KNOW! KNOWWWWWW! [how she says snow]
Me: Yep thats snow, Jack Frost decided to come for a visit last night.
E: Play know!! Play know... Me play! Uhhh uhhh!!!
Me: Use your big girl words, please.
E: Peeese play know.
Me: Thank you. Maybe after we get back home.
E: Ome now mama?
Me: We're going to Weight Watchers for mama then we will be going home, is that okay?
E: [I hear a HUGE sigh] Okay mama [in a very pouty voice]
Me: [pulling into a 15min parking spot] We won't be here very long. I promise. Ready to get out?
E: I walk? I walk?
Me: If you hold mama's hand.
E: No.
Me: If you don't hold my hand, you don't walk & you won't play in the snow when we get home.
E: hold mama!! I Hold. [makes kissy face.]

She wins, again.

This kid KNOWS how to A) WIN B) melt my heart... Her hugs & smooches get me EVERYTIME!

-She wins.

& Lastly:

I let E be independent. So when she runs off to another room in the house, I don't follow her. No need. The house is "E proofed"- Or so I thought. Out of no where E stood up and ran off. No big deal.

E: Bye mama
Me: Bye E

I hear her playing in her room, loudly. Then silence. I give it a minute or two before I go in there. When I go in she is "reading".
Me: You like that book?
E: Yah mam
Me: You want mama to read it to you?
E: No mama [gets up and runs away]

An hour later:
Me: Nappy time honey. Who do you want to sleep with you?
E: My car.
Me: Okay lets get one of your cars & try to go potty.
E: No potty, I peepee [points @ her diaper]
Me: Its okay , lets change your diaper and lay down.
I go to grab her wipies but they are empty. WTH? I had just filled it up. So I look and look and look and then BAMMM!!! There they are in the top of her Diaper Champ.

Me: Oh boy look at all those wipies!!
E: ::giggles::
Me: How did those get in here? [as I am salvaging what I can of said wipies]
E: [still giggling]
Me: Did you [poking in belly] put those in there?
E: yea [giggle]
Me: Wipies are not toys. Please don't do that again.
E: Ok mama. [very whiny]
Me: Def nap time
Since it happened more then an hr back I wasn't going to make a fuss or punish her. Children have short memory spans.

Shes a sneaky one!! That's what she must've been doing when she got all quiet; Used the book to trick me.

E- 2 Mama- 0

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Tomorrow's Friday!!

Can't wait to see you back here tomorrow @ Kandid Kelli...!!!

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , do you?

"Not Me Monday"

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog to read what she and everyone else have not been doing this week. You can also check out Hailey @ Be Serious & see what she has not been up too.

-I did not hear E, AWAKE through the monitor & look at the clock and see that it was only 650a & tell my toddler "10 more mins mama's tired", through ESP of course. It totally DID NOT WORK. Blues Clues isn't even on then... Ugh.

-I did not [dig out of the back of the closet &] wear a maternity shirt b.c its one of my all time favorites & b/c I was feeling lazy [& tired] on Friday and love it b.c of how soft [and worn in] it is.

-I did not go to bed before 9:00pm friday night. I am not that lame. I just got under my snuggie & Ms fleece blanket to warm-up for a few minutes the next thing I knew it was 10:45 & E was fussing. I went & calmed her down got some icecream ate it asked M to come cuddle w.me...he said okay he had to make sure the fire was out (close the fireplace doors) & in 10mins "SwampLoggers" was over, I said okay... The next thing I knew it was 6:00a and his alarm for work was going off. Oh well, I needed it & IT FELT GREAT!!!

-I did not open every single drawer in our bedroom, bathroom & kitchen when my sweetie was 5mins from being home to make a point that HE NEVER SHUTS a drawer or cabinet when hes done. I wouldn't be that immature. Did I make my point? No. He thought "I was cleaning" Ugh. men boys.

-I did not forget that it was 19* outside, b/c it was BEAUTIFUL & SUNNY, when I went to check the mail, BAREFOOT & with out a jacket in just a shortsleeved shirt.

-I did not go to the grocery store not once NOT twice but THREE times w/a list EVERYTIME, as to not forget anything & still forget something, each & every time. I still need a pack of pull-ups!!! But we're good in the cracker & granola bar dept. :)

-I did not lie to lil miss sassy pants & tell her that her raisins were candy so she would eat them. They are "natures candy".

-I did not ask a non-pregnant woman when she is due as I was leaving the convenience store of a gas station. She replied with "my ass of a 6yr ex-husband didn't want kids, Im not pregnant, but thanks for reminding me that I'm THAT fat." As I tried to apologize, she cut me off and said "You're probably one of those damn girls who can eat whatever you want & don't have to diet..." (I had stop to get M some chips for his lunch for the next day) She got in her car & left. If she only knew...

...

I hope everyone had a fab weekend & has a wonderful week ahead.

**I have a great week planned!!**

Can't wait to see you back here tomorrow @ Kandid Kelli...!!!

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , do you?

"Mail Time"

I have the damn song from "Blue's Clues" - "Mail Time" stuck in my head. So I thought it appropriate for todays title. These slew of "Love" letters are well over due. We are over 3 weeks into 2010. I am slacking here.



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Dear Ole Faithful,

You failed me Saturday. The turnpike?! Really?! Really?! It took me over 2hrs to get to little miss Es playdate @ Michelle & Brandon's house when it should've taken me about an hr! WTF?! Not only did you cause me to waste precious gas, but my TIME. We are not friends anymore until you do right by me. Get crackin, you hear.

Annoyed,
Owner of a 5.5 yr old MDX GPS
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Dear PA Weather,

I love that I am able to now accessorize with coats, scarves and BOOTS! Yes the boots, mainly my UGGS are great but please make up your mind. One day its 15* the next its 50* and raining. Gross. I experienced snow that was great, fun & cold. I don't need anymore. Mainly b.c I am scared to drive in it.

Thank You in advance,
Floridan gone North
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Dear Friendly Bathroom Scale,

I have been [trying] to stick to the plan as best as possible. I am not the cook. My snacks [minus the reeses and the doughnuts this weekend] are Weight Watchers friendly. I hope when I weigh-in Wed AM @ 9:30 I am down a few lbs. PLEASE OH PLEASE!! I beg of you!!

Desperately,
New-[ish] Lifetime Member
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Dear Leggins,

I love you. I love you more then my favorite jeans. I love you esp. paired with my UGGS or my J.Simpson thigh high boots & no matter what anyone says I will wear you as pants [when I have a long enough sweater or tunic]. Yes thats right PANTS! Judge away you judgers, but you know wear em too.

Lovingly,
Proud Legging Wearer
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Dear Toddlers of the World,

...or the one in the bedroom down the hall. I have instated a NEW rule. Well its not that new but for someone who isn't quite 2 yrs old its new. Its called SLEEPING IN. Its this thing where we sleep till at least 9am. NOT 6:freaking45 on a Saturday AM!!! Lets try it out this weekend, see how we like it [hint: we will like it] & go from there. Okay?

Tiredly,
Mama Bear
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Only [6days] till the reveal of the new NAME & Design for the blog yall. Erin @ MyWayThisTime has been working really hard, or hardly working? To make this great. Hmm. JK. We shall see come Monday, Jan 25. I can't wait!
...

-Kelli-Sue

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"Convo w/a Toddler"

photo courtesy of sesame ellis via flickr

My child is smart.

Sometimes too smart for her own good.

On Tuesday we ventured up to my college to buy books, get my student i.d. & graduate parking sticker (yes it is different from under grad parking stickers).

I called upon M's bestfriend of over 18yrs, and a good friend of mine Andy, to see if he would like to go w.us. He said yes. Some adult conversation is what I was shooting for!!

After chasing E around for a little while, I caught her. I feel like a damn hog hunter some days & E is the hog. Except I don't have a weapon. Bear hands folks.

Anywho, I bundled lil E up, its cold in these here parts, low 20's on Tues. She HATES her heavy coat. Well tough cookies. I thought to myself "I will heat the car and she will only have to wear it while we walk around campus." One less fight today. I am a genius!!! So I did just that.

On our way down to the garage (car heated):

Me: E lets go, we're going to get Uncle Andy & to go out for a bit to Mama's school.
E: Shakes her head no, Meme play.
Me: I hand her, her coat. You carry this to car we're leaving. You want to bring that with you?
E: No!! (starts whimpering)
Me: (I open the door towards the basement/garage) Come on Doodle, Lets go get uncle Andy.
E: Hold Me mama. Peeese?
Me: Hold your coat, please & my keys.
E: She jumps up. Mama it cold here (shes wearing leggings under cords, a long sleeved shirt under a sweater) The garage wasn't that cold, it was only ope a sliver so I could turn the car on safely & the car was warm already.
Me: Its fine, you didn't want to wear your jacket, the car is nice and toasty.
E: [making a confused face]
I open the car door.
E: It HOT mama.

Never happy this one. LoL.

We get to Andy's, He gets in and we chit chat, he's only a few mins away from the school I will be attending. Once we get there I realize its time for WWIII, b/c It's time to FORCE her coat on her. Now realize she LOVES her snowsuit, b/c she knows what that means, but her coat, no way jose.

Me: We're here. Yay! Ready to get in your stroller and get out hon?
E: YAYAYAYAYA!!!
M: I know sweetie. It's gunna be fun, we all just gotta put out jackets on, its cold outside, brrrr.
E: No. Cold. [puts her hands up to stop me]
Me: You don't want to be cold do you?
E: Yes. No mama.
Andy: Okay E it's time to put on your jacket. Then we can get out of our carseat.
E: Yah.
Me: Slide her arms in and its on. I was too shocked for words.
Andy: Big girl. Lets get in your stroller.
Me: Okay, let me make sure your in okay. Yup you're in! Want your shades?
E: Cank ou Mama.

We wet over to the Security office for my I.D. and parking pass and she threw on her charm. This kid knows how to put on a show. One of the security officers ended up giving me some suckers for her. She was such an angel while we were in the office she got one. Once to the car though I took it away. **CHOKING HAZARD**

Me: Thank you. (as I just take it)
E: No mama. Meme's & starts wailing.
Me: Yes baby. You can't have that while mommy is driving it could hurt you.
E: NOOOOOOOOOOOO. (Screaming & kicking)
Me: Would you like your cup and a animal cracker?
E: uhhuh (all whinny like)
Andy: Want some milk & a cokkie
Andy to me: Shes smiling again

WTF...is he like the dman baby whisper? He says exactly what I say and shes better! That;s it Im taking him EVERYWHERE with me from now on!

Either that or she enjoys saying yes to others and not me. She enjoys running from mommy and not from others. She How smart this little sucker is?

Im going with the latter.

Once we get back to Andy's house after lunch & he gets out to leave he says bye to us and bye to e and the crying commences- again. She LOVES her uncle Andy. She had BIG ole crocodile tears. poor baby.

Me: Baby its okay. Uncle Andy has to go home now.
E: (crying) Why?
Me: Calm down. B/c he does this is where he lives.

Crying slows down.

E: Boy my home?

I think she was asking if he cold come to her home... Im not sure i ignored it, she fell asleep. She is TOO young to be asking if boys can live with her! oy.

...

I know you're wondering about the blog facelift. It's coming Erin @ MyWayThisTime is making some headway. But some close friends of hers were involved in a fire last week & she has been trying to help them, duh, you can check that out here & here & if you would like to help them contact her. She has an awesome blog, Check her out.

-Kelli-Sue

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