"Im alive, just barely"

Since we last talked I [cue bullet points] :

• -Packed up everything E & I owned in boxes in less then 7 days.
• -Helped M & Chip load it into my '04 MDX & U-Haul trailer.
• -Had a birthday... I am now 24 I feel 90 thanks to this horrid move. Gasp.
• -Packed 2 suit cases for out plane ride home. Had to inspect E's, b/c she's famous for "packing" toys.
• -Let E stay up late every night the last week in PA to spend time w.her Bop & Guppy.
• -Caught lighting bugs in a jar w.E- Daddy did the dirty job of touching them, Mommy took about a billion pics... those to come later!
• -Had a few very emotional good byes w.Chip, Bop & Guppy. There may or may not have been alot of tears at the airport. I looked like someone died as I was going through security. NOT a good look as you're going through AIRPORT SECURITY. [SN: I hate hurting people & seeing M's dad hurting b/c I was taking his granddaughter away, killed me. They are very close. E says he's her bestfriend. I am getting teary eyed typing this.]
• -Flew on a plane, w/a 2y/o & about 45 other children ALL going to Disney!!! My munchkin had her own seat. She enjoyed this. I however, DID NOT. Up. Down. Up. Down. repeat- for 2+ hours. 
• -Got home, cursed 100% HUMIDITY.
• -Basically made out w.my bestie when she got to my house!
• -Had pizza & ice cream cake for birthday dinner.
• -Had a slumber party w.aformentioned bestie.
• -GOT PRESENTS!!!! Bestie rocks... she just wants baller presents on her bday... I know how she rolls. haha j/k.
• -Took E to see TS3 (her first movie theater movie!) w.Bestie, Ashleyx2 & Miss Mal- They were so freaking cute together. (Thx for the pics Hayls!!)
• -Went to visit my Grandma & celebrate my bday & Fathers day. It was a blast. I love seeing my family & very pregnant cousins! 
• -Watched all the littles play in the front yard till the afternoon FL storm rolled in.
• -Had a Girls night-in & baked cookies w.mom & You got it by now... Bestie while watching DDD & Army Wives.
• -Greeted my hons @ 1am after his 15+hr drive w.my stuff and the horrible U-haul.
• -Started E's swim re-fresher lessons. [SN: Shes been in lessons since before she was 12mons...these are 2 week refreshers to refresh her memory about swimming!]
• -Un-loaded my car & U-Haul in said humidity, trying to beat said storms.
• -Took the u-haul back.
• -Had lunch w.my hons.
• -Took him to the airport, said a short good good-bye. [he'll be back in less then 27 days!]
• -Went to grandmas to get forgotten babydoll.
• -Started to move boxes around b/c temp. staying w.my parents- CURRENTLY LOOKING FOR A PLACE TO LIVE. - will not be unpacking everything.
• -Fell asleep in my clothes w.the lights on.
• -Swim lessons day #2.

& I have SO MUCH un-packing/organizing to do in the next week.

That about covers it. I am so tired its not even funny- I have so much to do. The mess is ridiculous. I want to cry. I hate THIS kind of messy. Playroom messy is different... moving messy gives me a panic attack.

I. HATE. MOVING. 

I am sorta back. I hope to be back in FULL swing by Monday, June 28th--

It feels good to be home though &  I know it will feel even better in the coming weeks, Good things are happening. 

THANK YOU FOR ALL THE SUPPORT. YOU GUYS ROCK MY LIFE.

[SN: Have you heard about LiLu? Go here to hear all about it!!] 

...

Keep up in between posts, I Tweet , A lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"A Quickie"

Okay heres the deal.

I had a great post planned for today. But, I woke up in a cold sweat at 6:55 (THX E!!) & realized:

I MOVE 1,000+mi (w.a toddler) IN 7 DAYS & HAVEN'T PACKED A SINGLE BOX! SHIT.

So I called my (ex)college picked up my OFFICIAL transcripts. Finished one of the two apps I needed for UCF & I am working on the second one. The second one is a little more in depth (Im applying to, two diff. programs b/c I can't do them BOTH @ UCF b/c they suck.) I am doing them BOTH now, though. I am sad I will have to pick soon. But I digress. 

So from now until I hit FL ground I most likely will not be around much. I will be in and out reading, YALL KEEP ME SANE, and of course commenting as much as I can. 

Dont forget... my birthday is THURSDAY, JUNE 17TH!!!

I will post what I had planned for today in two weeks once I am home and settled. 

Once I am home lots of things will be going on: My cousin Missy's 2nd baby (A GIRL) Ellie is due June 19th (she better not come early I will cry), TOY STORY 3 w.My favs (Ashley, Mallory & Hayls & possibly my mama) That will be E's FIRST MOVIE THEATER MOVIE!!, Bubba comes home from Deployment at the end of the month (I do believe this is correct), E& I get to GO BACK TO CHURCH- HALLELUJAH! & June 25th will mark 365days till the day I am getting married!!! Planning will have to begin!! Hayls, my MOH & I have already been kind of talking about plans. *EXCITED* ABOUT JUNE!!!

oh yah...

Dont forget... my birthday is THURSDAY, JUNE 17TH!!!

I love yall... see ya in the BEAUTIFUL FL SUN!!!!

...

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"Not Me Monday"

Welcome to Not Me! Monday! This blog carnival was created by MckMama. You can head over to her blog for more Monday fun. 

- While in the shower Friday night I did not see a stink bug perched on top of MY body wash and scream [quietly b/c the bathroom we use at my in-laws shares a wall w.E's room] and then proceed to use M's body wash- I also keep my eyes open for the duration of my shower b/c I DID NOT want that gross bug anywhere near my clean body. So much for relaxing shower... I DID NOT look around for M all day Sat. when I got a slight whiff of him, forgetting that it was ME I was smelling. 

-It did not take me almost 3 hours, I was chasing E around for about 1.5 hrs of that b/c she thought we were playing hide-n-seek, um NO to clean the INSIDE of my SUV b/c it has not been 6+ (meaning it has been over 6mons, less then a yr though) since the last time my car was cleaned. It was not GROSS. You could NOT tell I have a child. I am now not embarrassed to have people get in my vehicle.   

-I did not call the grocery store to ask for boxes b/c you know I am moving in 11 days and STILL HAVENT STARTED PACKING & was on hold for too long & hung up, on Saturday. I hope when I call again today I won't get the same girl, b/c You know I don't really NEED TO PACK. I am NOT stressing, yet. I have NOT thought (Im not there, yet, just thinking about it) about popping xanex like skittles. 

-I most certainly did not praise E when she slept-in till 7:50 on Sunday, telling her BIG GIRLS sleep-in, but before I did not do that I definitely did not roll over and slap M and say "she let us sleep till almost 8, go get her a cup of milk, will ya?" Then I did not mis-step and trip on my way out the door.

-I have not taken well over 100 pictures of E in 1.5 weeks. A good amount of them were not taken yesterday on the Hawk Mountain Line @ The Wanamaker, Kempton & Southern, Inc.  train ride we went on. It was not a bundle of fun. It did not start raining while we were on the open car and I did not take E from M and say "Daddy can get wet but E & mommy are gunna go back in the car w/Grammy & Aunt Michelle" Not less then 2 minutes did it start to pour & everyone came pouring in the car, suckers!  

-I did not squee LOUDLY when the season premiere of Drop Dead Diva came on last night & was not even more in love w.my honey when he watched (and maybe had a few laughs) with me. I most certainly did not bawlEVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.

-I do not have plans to START PACKING today. I will not be stalking EVERY. SINGLE. GROCERY STORE until they give me boxes. I shouldn't need TOO many. 

...

I have some cool-ish stuff planed this week. Stay tuned! 

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo

-Kandid Kelli

"A Few Things"

-GO MAGIC! Lets WIN TONIGHT & SHOW the Celtics who's Boss!! (and Shut Nicole A. UP!!! Muhahaha!!!)

-I love the A/C and until two nights ago, when M put ours in, our room was hotter then the hinges on the gates of hell. Now the rest of the house is HOT! It was in the 90's yesterday... I love hot weather... when I have a cool house to come back into.

-The fridge door is fixed.

-I absolutely love when E sings [and dances] along with me when we sing: The Wheels on the bus, Itsty, Bitsy, Spider & Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star... we sing others but those are the only 3 she actually knows the words too. I've tried to get an audio clip via my iPhone [voice memos] but she knows & stops. What a smartie.

-I move in exactly 3 weeks and have yet to start packing, when should I start panicking?

-I forgot how good frosted animal crackers are.

-I decided I am going to take E to "Storytime LIVE" by NickJR... It has Dora, The Backyardagins, Kai Lan & The Wonder Pets. I think she will have fun. Its in August in Orlando. Tickets go on sale in a month.

-I head, via people who saw it yesterday, that SATC2 sucked... that hurts my heart. I loved the show & the first movie. Sigh.

-I have yet to watch the 1st epi of "The Bachelorette" & for some reason I have no desire, whatsoever. I liked Ali, I picked her in the 2nd epi to win but IDK why I don't want to watch.

-I want my shoes, NOW! I know when M ordered them for me they said 4-6 weeks but GAH I want them NOW! I also know they are my day present and my bday is in 20 days... June 17 incase you want to send me something shiny... haha Im kidding... kinda.

-I can't wait to go to the beach house tomorrow through Monday night. It will be a much needed change of scenery. E will also enjoy the beach, park(s), pool, etc. It will be fun. PLUS M & I will get to go on a DATE, our fist dinner alone since OCT and in Oct E wasn't even in PA with me, she was in FL w.my parents. I am stoked. We NEED this.

-I got straight A's this semester, it was my first semester in GRAD SCHOOL. I was taking a full load, according to my college, which is 2 classes and I got 2 A's. I have never in my life gotten straight A's . THISISABIGDEAL. I hope it makes my transfer easy.

...

I hope everyone has a good & safe Memorial Day weekend. See you back here BRIGHT & EARLY Monday AM... xo love you my gorgeous gum-drops!

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , a lot.

xo
-Kandid Kelli

"Groundhog's Day"

"Mama...meme up...Mama... Ma!!!" That is usually what resonates from the monitor anywhere from 630-715, Daily. Without fail. I grumble something to Matt, if he is still in bed, he asks me what I just said. But it doesn't matter, I roll [literally] out of bed and go stumbling, stomping bounding into E's room, with a smile, like ive been waiting awake, for her to wake up.

As soon as I touch the handle on her door I know if I walk in there w.anything BUT a smile we will have a bad day. My attitude, first thing in the AM sets the tone for the whole day. Don't get me wrong, I AM NOT CHIPPER in the morning, nor am I HAPPY to be awake. But I do want to have a positive, happy, fun day. Also E is the happiest she is going to be ALL day first thing in the AM. She has just gotten anywhere from 10.5-12 hrs of sleep! How can I not smile when I see her, full of smiles?!

I change her, we are STILL NOT potty trained. [I hope that when we move back to FL in June, things will be a little easier, as we will be in our own place and not living w/grandparents- yes I am moving back- thats a whole different post] I am also not really in a rush, I have learned that there is no rush to force her to do anything, when she does it on her own, she is far more successful. I digress.

Then we get a cup of milk and go snuggle in my room. We usually watch one of her TV shows on DVD- then when snuggle time is over, she takes her "baba"(pacifier) and squirt (her ratty 2y/o pinkish elephant) back to her room & we venture out to the kitchen for breakfast.

Being the hard headed independent child she is, she insists on deciding on her breakfast and THEN she picks if she wants to sit in "boos chair" (the high chair) or her booster seat. All the while this decision process is occurring, I am prepping the coffee maker to hit the "ON" button. I have it down to a science and can get this done in the time it takes my 2 y/o to make her decisions & still have control over the situation in the kitchen. Groggy or not. I. AM. GOOD.

Once she has made her final decision I sit next to her and I check the interwebz and drink that magical potion I just concocted a few minutes prior...COFFEE. Once my child has eaten picked at her food enough to satisfy me. Off she & her sippy cup go! and Goes and goes until 1030/45 and then thats Nap #1.

During her nap I: try and get as much school work done, laundry (ours and hers... separate loads), Dishes, and misc. straightening up/ things that need to be done. I also get myself dressed and looking presentable (I shower in the PM). I try and clean-up her disasters but the minute she wakes up she is FULL of energy and ready to destroy. She is like a hurricane or Tornado.

Our afternoons are some what of a whirlwind: (The TV or Radio/CDs is ALWAYS on- I need something other then just toddler babble) wake-up from nap, get her dressed, Lunch, play outside for a few (weather permitting), inside to wind down and have a snack & play. [If I have errands that need to be done they are done during this time- thats rare] Then somewhere between 330/4 is NAP#2... YES I have a 2 naps a day type of kid.

Nap#2 I work on more school work but I like to be selfish [if I can] and catch up on my TV show(s).

As of late my FIL has been getting home around 430/5 so I try more for the 330 lay down, so she gets atleast an hr. -- Wakes up, gets changed. Socks, shoes & a pony and out we go for some more out doors time till dinner.

After the most annoying, oscar award worthy performance & tiring hr of my life dinner, is tubbie time. Usually kiddo takes off like a bat out of hell for the tub or begs during dinner for a tubs, but as of late (I LOVE HAVING A 2y/o) she runs and hides. We play with bubbles and toys in the tub- WE SPLASH. We get our jams on play a little more if she is in the mood we read a book. Then like clockwork she asks for a "cup & nap" she goes and gives nightnight kisses. She still gets some milk b/c of her lack of food consumption & is in bed by no later then 8:10.

From there its mommy & daddy time. U.N.T.I.L she wakes up around 11 or so and I have to go in and console her and make her lay back down. Then I have a love affair with my pillow. Before I know it -- "Mama...meme up...Mama... Ma!!!" is that time, AGAIN? Where did my precious sleep time go?

I realized last week, when I told my bestie , that my week/weekend was mundane [again], I feel as if I am living groundhogs day , there isn't even the slightest variation to my days anymore. I love my daughter and I love that we are blessed enough that I can stay home with her while I am in Grad School. I always said I wanted to stay home with my kids till they were in pre-school. I know children are creatures of routine but hers is so rigid lately that I wonder how that happened?

I never expected being a SAHM to be glamorous but i've been doing it for 2 years now, but more so as of late and SOMETHING has to change & it will but slowly b/c poor girl has had soo many changes, her routine might be her security thing.

When she was smaller, I had her on a feeding/sleeping schedule but NOTHING like this one. It is almost suffocating. I feel as if I somehow slipped and hit the repeat button on the CD player and I am living life on repeat- day in, day out.

You may be on the other side of your computer screen scoffing, thinking "she has it SOOO easy" scoff all you want, until you live it. Not only is the redundancy killing me but so is the loneliness. I may have a partner but I still feel like I do a lot of it alone.

...
Ive gotta go learn about some pilgrims... I don't know as much as I thought. If Im going to be teaching it I need to know it.

Don't miss a beat, keep up in between posts, I Tweet , are we friends?

xo

Kandid Kelli

"Pick & Choose-y"

So remember HERE when I said there would be an adjustment period when I moved in with M? Well that couldn't be farther from the truth.

I know some of you never considered me a single parent, b/c I lived with my parents. But I was.

They were NOT live-in babysitters.

Fri-Sun they were "not available" to watch little E. Usually Tue/Thurs were out of the question too b/c my step-dad was home by 3-330 at the latest. They are season-ticket holders for the Orlando Magic, On a bowling league, etc... They had lives of their own. They are young, my mom being 45 and step-dad 53.

I lived under their roof but I have been the one raising E. [Mostly] alone. When She was sick or up all night, I was up with her. Alone. I enrolled her in swimming lessons & made sure she never missed one lesson (mostly) alone. Hayls came sometimes.

It really seemed as if my parents were very "hands-off" type of Grandparents. They never once took her somewhere, unless I was with them to deal with E when she got difficult. If they babysit for any reason I was left to feel guilty for it.

Yes financially they helped MORE THEN I CAN BEGIN TO TELL you.

But all-in-all I was/am a SINGLE PARENT. But I digress.

On Sunday M, E and I had plans to go to this HUGE mall, thats about an hour away from where we live so we planned on leaving at nap time so E would sleep on the way there and not be a grump. Well she was crabby when we were about to leave, which was perfect, it meant she was tired! But she didnt want to adorn her coat. It was 27degrees out! Def in need of a jacket. I forced it on her while M was holding her. Her screams could be heard in another county. We had to force her into her car seat. She was pissed. Lovely.

Well once she was securely strapped in & M got into the car she started crying for her 'baba' (pacifier) I told M NOT to go get the one from her crib b/c we had 3 EXACTLY like that one in the diaper bag (yet she didn't want those) & when she hit 24 mons she was done w.the baba. She is 21mons now. Well she continued to cry for that certain baba till she passed out.

M looked over at me and said "Kelli you CAN NOT pick when I get to be a parent, either I am daddy or I am not"

That made me really think, In E's almost 2 yrs I have never had to consult "another parent" EVER.

I have complete and sole custody of E. GD has NO say in how she is raised. Nor does he care. The last time I saw him he told me the sooner M adopted her (by way of Step-Parent Adoption) the better. [Keep in mind that M & I have to be married first for this to happen]

I mean M has been around since E was only 4mons old, thats MOST of her life. But until 2 weeks ago we nvr lived together. So he wasn't ALWAYS around & didn't really have a say in how she was raised.

I didn't have to ask anyone when I waned to get her haircut for the first time or when I wanted to take her to her first petting zoo or to her first amusement park on on her first vacation/air plane ride. I didn't have to ask anyone when I out my infant then toddler in swimming lessons. I had full reins on what we did and when we did it.

It may have taken two to make her, but it sure as hell has taken ONE. ME (with a little help here and there from family members) to raise her.

We're adjusting, to living together and to raising a child together. E is adjusting to having two parents full time & dada not "living" in the phone.

She still won't let him put her to bed, but she will let him give her a tubbie. She is back to uninterrupted sleep & eating fairly well (for her anyways).

I know moving down the road or seven states away takes adjusting & that is just what we are doing.

I am also working on letting M be dad. Its hard for me to not always hover over him when hes doing his thing with her but its becoming easier.

Saturday will be the test. M gets off early (noon) and will be home before 1. I am going to get my nails done. So he will have an hr of daddy daughter time. Lets see how well I handle it.
----

OKAY FREADERS, I have BIG, AND I MEAN MONUMENTAL NEWS:

Coming SOON there will be a NEW NAME and LOOK here @ The Urban Cowgirl. So keep your eyeballs peeled.

Have a good weekend yall.

-Kelli-Sue

Tweet-tweet

"I'm Leaving on a Jet Plane"

...In 16 days. Thats just a lil over TWO WEEKS! AHHHH.




I just started packing and realized that there really isn't much that I can pack this early. But I am limited to packing during E's naps & after bedtime. Usually by then I am exhausted and Im ready to relax.

If you notice a slight slowdown in my blogging you know why. --- Please stick with me.

I have a few ideas up my sleeve but these next few weeks I am going to be BUSY BUSY BUSY.

I promise once I am settled in up north, pending my fingers don't snap off b/c they are frozen, things will pick back up and get back to normal around here.

I did mention, last week I would be starting a contest, this week. It will run from today until the end of the month [[PENDING]] I find a winner.

I NEED A NEW NAME FOR THE BLOG. URBAN COWGIRL, Just ISNT fitting any longer.


SUBMIT:
YOUR "NAME" IDEAS. In my comments section.
You can submit as many names as you can think of.


The one I LIKE the best WINS. Easy as that. Im not quite sure of the prize yet but I PROMISE its gunna be schweet!!!

Quick Facts: (I hope these help but, If you still have questions, to help you come up with a name feel free to ask)

-I am a young single mom.
-My daughter is my LIFE
-I am moving for grad school (and to be closer to my long term b/f)
-I want to teach 1,2,3 grad prolly 1st or SPECIAL Ed.
-I am quirky
-I usually say what's on my mind
-I care.. usually TOO much
-I love to read
-I LOVE MY FAMILY

GOOD LUCK.

Thx for sticking with me [us]... the journey REALLY has just begun. (please stick around even during the hiatus)
-Kelli-Sue

"Im on twitter!" ... Are you following me yet?

"Its a Mom Thing..."

"...Real World Insights for Profoundly Imperfect Mothers"



Its that time again... for some more insight from Mrs.Neidlein.

Enjoy & Happy Friday!

-Children are a gift. A gift where you're like, "Wow, who knew a gift could make you so lumpy and tired?"

-Changing Diapers... Folding Clothes... Making Dinner... It's so cute when husbands reach a new developmental milestone.

-My friend. My partner, My rock... my portable DVD player.

-You can fool some of the people all of the time, but it's damn near impossible to look cool carrying a diaper bag.

-Parenting Magazines are perfect for those times when you're not feeling inadequate enough on your own. [NO KIDDING!!!]

-SHOULDN'T RUNNING ERRANDS COUNT AS EXERCISE? HELLO... IT'S CALLED "RUNNING!"

-I try not to offend other moms, because you never know who's carrying around an arsenal of scrap-booking scissors.

And lastly this is perfect:

-Kids grow-up too fast! Unless they're throwing a fit in public. Then-- Geez... grow-up already! Get a move on! [um hello!]

Have a FANTASTIC FRIDAY! & A good weekend. I move in 18 days and HAVEN'T started to pack. I am going to start today & all this weekend. That is my "project". I am also going to try to go to a Christmas Party for a College & Career group @ my church. We shall see. I really want to go, but I don't know how Saturday is going to pan out.

See you back here bright & early MONDAY... I am going to be running a short contest next week so check back for that!
Bye lovers.

Thx for sticking with me [us]... the journey REALLY has just begun.
-Kelli-Sue

"Im on twitter!" ... Are you following me yet?